Another Time, Another Place
by Hidge
Summary: AU - What if Jackson and April had met under different circumstances? A series of crazy, unrelated one shots. Japril fun! Please R&R!
1. For King and Country

**A/N: Sorry for not posting anything in so long! I just started my internship and I am very busy. I am, however, working on the new chapters of TRKoW and WWCB. Stay tuned.**

**So this idea is a little out there and I don't blame you if you're not interested, I just think it'll be fun. Essentially this series will be unrelated AU one shots - I'm calling it the crazy AU series. Lol. This one was inspired by _Game of Thrones_. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters but some of these things are mine!**

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><p>Catherine pulled up her dress in a rather un-lady like manner and rushed through the castle hallways in a rage. She passed her ladies-in-waiting and they stepped aside without a word. They knew that the Queen's rage could only mean one thing. Her rage signified that she had once again lost track of her son, and on today of all days.<p>

She spotted two chatting guards and approached them with a huff. "Have either of you seen my son?"

Both men, startled by the Queen's presence, stood up straighter and addressed her respectfully. "Your grace, I believe the Prince is down by the lake."

"And what is he doing down there?" She questioned in annoyance.

The man who had responded to her glanced at his partner fearfully. "Uhh…it's where he goes to relax, your grace. He goes there with the servant girl."

Catherine shrieked in outrage. "I knew it! One of you, go and find him! Drag him back to the castle if you have to! He's just doing this to drive me mad!"

* * *

><p>"So," Jackson mused as he skipped a small stone across the lake. "I've been told that I have to marry this girl every day for as long as I can remember and yet I'm only meeting her now. It's the most idiotic thing that I've ever heard."<p>

He was trying not to outwardly appear as frustrated and upset as he truly felt about this situation. The Greys, the royal family from the North, were arriving this evening with their youngest daughter, Alexandra. His future Queen. He had come down to the lake to get some peace and quiet, and he at least knew that he could openly express his displeasure in front of April, the one person that he could trust with all of his thoughts, his deepest, darkest secrets and even his sometimes traitorous feelings towards the Crown and his legacy.

April glanced up from her book and smiled wryly at her best friend. He had been ranting about this for days. She supposed that she couldn't fault him for it. She shared a lot of his opinions; she just didn't see the point of voicing them aloud. Her thoughts didn't matter to anyone.

"I'm sure she feels the same exact way," she stated quietly. He looked down at her almost as if he were surprised, or perhaps offended. "You're very handsome," she laughed, "and you're from a great bloodline but what if she thinks this is as idiotic as you do."

He sat down next to her with a sigh. "Yeah, perhaps," he agreed. "Why can't I just marry whomever I want?" He muttered petulantly.

"Because it doesn't work that way," she answered as she kept her eyes focused on the book in her lap. She was glad that Queen Catherine had kindly taught her how to read at a young age. Books were her refuge in a lot of awkward situations. She quickly raised her head after a silence and offered him an encouraging smile. "Maybe when you're King you can change it."

He ignored her comment that had been meant to be uplifting. "I guess I just want to be in love with who I marry," he confessed quietly. "Is that too much to ask?"

"No," April whispered back. "Or at least I don't think so. You can learn to love her though." She wasn't sure why she was trying to sell him on his future wife that he hadn't even met yet. It was the last thing that she wanted. "Love isn't instant."

Jackson smiled sarcastically as he mindlessly plucked at the grass near his feet. "That's not how the stable boy tells it. One look at you and his entire world changed forever."

A fierce blush spread across April's cheeks. "Well Matthew is very sweet."

He wiped his face against his shoulder to hide his scowl. "So you're going to marry him then?"

April thoughtfully chewed on her bottom lip before she nodded. "My parents want me to and I don't have anybody else asking for my hand. He's a good man; he'll be a good father."

An uneasy feeling settled in Jackson's stomach as he realized what her marriage meant for him. "So you'd move out of the castle?"

She nodded again. "Yes."

He swallowed a large lump in his throat. She had lived in the castle her entire life; she had been born there, just like him. It was her home too. It just so happened that his parents had been King and Queen and her parents had been their servants. Her mother worked in the kitchen and her father was in charge of the fields and the crops.

April had been born in the spring and he in the summer, and her station hadn't mattered to him when he had decided to befriend her. And it didn't matter to him now either.

He leaned in closer to her and pressed his forehead against the side of her head. "I don't want you to move out of the castle," he whispered. "I'd have nobody to talk to."

"You'd have a wife to talk to," she replied.

"I don't want a wife that I don't know. I want you," he added after a pause.

"Jackson," she croaked. "We've talked about this."

It seemed as if it was all that they had been able to talk about for the past three months, since her sixteenth name day. He had known that as soon as that day passed her parents would become concerned with lining up a husband for her. He didn't want her to marry the stable boy; he wanted her to marry _him_. His time was dwindling fast though. Matthew the stable boy had asked for her hand and he and Alexandra Grey were set to get married immediately after his sixteenth name day, which was in less than a fortnight. He knew what he wanted, he just couldn't have it. He was in love with the girl that he had grown up with, the girl that he had chased around the castle because he had had no one else his age to play with, the girl that had helped him steal his grandfather's horse, the girl whose lap he had cried in when his father had been killed in battle, the girl that he had taught how to hold a sword and shoot an arrow. He wanted to marry the girl that he had shared his first kiss with.

But she reminded him time and time again that his family would never allow him to marry a servant girl. The facts just didn't seem to be getting through to him though because he kept returning to the subject.

He turned his head and motioned for his guards to turn around before he threaded his hand through her hair and pressed his lips to hers. His guards, who had watched him his entire life, knew about his feelings for April but he wanted at least a little privacy. He also knew that all of the watching eyes made her nervous.

She pulled away from him with a whisper. "Jackson, stop it."

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before he gently caressed her cheek. "What's wrong?"

April let out a hollow laugh as she averted her gaze from his. "What's wrong?" She repeated to herself. "That's quite the question isn't it?" She hopped to her feet and brushed off the skirt of her dress. "I have to go and get ready for tonight."

Jackson watched her walk away in frustration, and was about to call out to her when he heard the distinct clanking of someone running in armour. He got to his feet as well and turned towards the guard running towards him.

"Your mother demands that you return to the castle," he stated breathlessly. "She told me to drag you if I have to, my Prince."

Jackson rolled his eyes with a sigh as he started to walk up the small hill. "Dramatic, isn't she?" He asked with a smirk.

* * *

><p>Jackson waltzed into his chambers and spotted his mother sitting on his bed. She was clearly not impressed with his behaviour today, but he didn't have it in him to care.<p>

"Do you have any idea how important today is?" She asked him.

He nodded solemnly. "I do."

His marriage to a Grey meant that the South and the North would once again be reunited. No more war, they would live in a time of peace, and that was important to him since he had lost his father to a war with the North. If Alexandra didn't like him, or if her father decided to change his mind, then they would have to find another way to achieve peace. And that was much more difficult.

Today was a very important day…he just had a hard time convincing himself that it was more important than April.

"Well you're not acting like it," she shot accusingly. "You will be on your best behaviour when she arrives. You will have to be your most charming self."

He nodded again as he sat down beside her. "I know what I have to do. That doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

"What's got you so upset?" She asked in a much softer voice. "Is it the servant girl?"

"Her name is April," he bit out.

"I know that," Catherine cooed as she rubbed his back. She knew all about the little red-headed girl that had always been by her son's side. "And you can keep her if you want."

Jackson raised his head in interest. "What do you mean?"

She leaned forward and kissed her son gently on the forehead. "You're going to be King, baby, you can do whatever you want. You have to marry the Grey girl, for the sake of the realm, but you don't have to like her. You'll need to be cordial and united when you're out in public and you'll need to produce heirs, but outside of that you can do _whatever you want_," she emphasized. "You can be with _whoever you want_."

"So I could be with April?" He asked tentatively.

Catherine nodded. "Of course. You're going to be _King_," she grinned. "The world is at your feet."

Jackson's heart soared at all of the possibilities. "How would I do it, mother?" He asked eagerly. "How can I be with her?"

Catherine smiled at his innocence. He had a very limited view of the world for an heir to the throne. "You just have to give the word."

* * *

><p>The Greys arrived just before dusk, with a full guard and a carriage full of servants. Jackson bowed to Alexandra and gently kissed her hand, and she at least didn't seem to hate him on sight. Jackson couldn't deny that she was very pretty. Lovely eyes and long, brown hair. He certainly hadn't expected her to be so good-looking.<p>

After initial greetings, everyone quickly moved into the great hall for the feast and he politely told his future Queen all about the castle and the kingdom.

"Your countryside certainly is beautiful," the woman sitting beside him commented.

"Thank you," he smiled. "We can go for a ride on horseback tomorrow if you'd like."

"That sounds nice," she beamed. "I'd like that."

He turned to look at his mother and saw that she was practically overwhelmed with emotion. Clearly he was behaving the way that she wanted him to, and he actually didn't mind. He was sort of enjoying himself. The food was delicious and Alexandra was nice to talk to…but he didn't miss April moving about the room, laying down plates of food and taking away dirty dishes. He had never felt comfortable with April waiting on him and today was no exception. In fact, he felt even more uncomfortable today than usual.

Usually, when it was just his family and his council, he would make playful jokes while she served him. She would always fire something back at him but tonight she had to remain silent. And sometimes he would deliberately be the last one to leave the table just so that he could invite April to eat with him. His mother had never liked that very much but she had never forbade it. Tonight it was obvious that she would eat in the kitchen with the rest of the servants.

But he had to keep reminding himself that things would be different once he got married. Because of what his mother had told him, he knew that he could be King, she wouldn't have to serve him his meals, _and _they could be together.

He sent her a tender smile as she laid a large plate of bread down in front of him and Alexandra. "Thank you, April."

"You're welcome, your grace," she replied in a whisper.

The red-head could feel her cheeks begin to heat under his gaze so she fled the great hall and returned to the kitchen as gracefully as possible. She heard running footsteps behind her and she knew that it was her younger sister, Kimberly, hurrying to catch up with her.

"What's it like out there?" Little Alice asked excitedly when she spotted her sisters walking into the hectic kitchen.

April opened her mouth to respond to her baby sister but Kimberly beat her to it. "April was drooling over Prince Jackson again."

"I was not!" April screeched indignantly.

Their mother, who was standing next to the large fire, turned around and stared at her daughters sternly. "Girls," she warned.

Kimberly crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Well it's true," she argued. "She needs to grow up, mother. Like the Prince would ever fall in love with her. It's ludicrous!"

All of the other servants in the kitchen looked at the Kepner girls with a mixture of pity and curiosity. They had all heard rumours and murmurings but they didn't know if they were true. April quickly grew anxious with everyone's staring so she fled the kitchen with tears in her eyes.

She ran as far into the belly of the castle that she could go without going down into the dungeons. She sat on the floor and cried into the skirt of the nicest dress she owned. The Queen had wanted everyone to look their best for the Greys so she was wearing the dress her father had gotten her for her sixteenth name day and her mother had plaited her long hair into a single braid. She did look rather nice…but nothing compared to Alexandra Grey.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there and just cried before she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She knew that it was her mother just by her touch so she pressed her face into her neck and cried even harder.

"Shhh sweetheart," her mother whispered.

"I was not drooling over him," she whimpered.

"I know, I know," she replied understandingly.

She was fully aware of what was really going on between her second eldest daughter and the Prince. For two years now she had been afraid of Prince Jackson's thoughts about April. She had been afraid that his thoughts were strictly indecent and selfish, but then she had noticed the way that he looked at her. The Prince looked at her daughter the way that her husband looked at her, the way that the late King had looked at Queen Catherine. April certainly was not in love with a boy that would never love her back. He already did love her and then some.

"It's not good to dwell on these things," she continued.

April nodded and responded sadly. "I know. Matthew's lovely," she added after a moment.

She forced a smile as she looked down at her daughter. "Yes, he is. I think he's rather smitten."

Joseph had already made up his mind that April was going to marry the chivalrous stable boy. She, however, was a little more reluctant to approve of the marriage since she knew that her daughter's heart already belonged to another.

"I want to get married as soon as possible," April spoke up determinedly.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Are you sure?"

The younger woman nodded. "Yes." Her younger sister was right, she needed to grow up. She would never be with Jackson so she needed to start her life with Matthew. The longer that she held on to Jackson the more he would eat away at her, until there was nothing left.

* * *

><p>Jackson stayed in the great hall until Alexandra bid him goodnight. The feast was long over and singing, dancing, and drinking had commenced. He wasn't as fond of those things as others around him so he roamed the castle instead.<p>

Well, he didn't roam. He walked with a purpose. He knew exactly what he was looking for and he was thrilled once he found it.

Jackson raced up behind April and grabbed her by the waist. She squealed in surprise and he laughed as he pulled her behind a nearby curtain. He placed both of his hands on the wall on either side of her body, effectively trapping her body with his own.

He gazed down at her with a grin before licking his lips. "Hi," he breathed. "You look lovely."

She ignored his compliment and got right to the point. "What are you doing?" She asked in a slight panic.

"Relax," he told her soothingly. "I had to come and find you. I couldn't wait any longer to tell you."

"Tell me what?" She asked curiously.

"I know how we can be together," he revealed with a bright smile. "For the rest of our lives."

April's eyes widened and she placed her hands on his shoulders. And with those words all of her earlier convictions about marrying Matthew vanished. "Really? You talked to your mother?"

He nodded enthusiastically before he leaned down to kiss her. He eagerly pressed his mouth against hers and she whimpered as she tentatively kissed him back. He grinned as he pressed his forehead against hers and exhaled happily. He wanted to do a lot more of that, and then some.

Maybe tonight…if she wanted to…

"Don't marry Matthew, stay in the castle, you won't have to work in the kitchen anymore, and we can be together whenever we want." He gave her a quick kiss before he continued excitedly, "When I don't have to be with Alexandra, we can spend all day and _all night_ together." His eyes trailed over her as his hands skimmed up her sides. "Doesn't that sound perfect?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion and she leaned away from his kiss. "You're asking me to be a castle whore?"

"What? No!" He answered quickly. "It wouldn't be like that. You'd be…well…you'd be mine." He raised a hand so that he could lift her chin. "Nobody else would be able to touch you," he told her as he looked her in the eye. "It'd just be you and me." He brushed his nose along hers and smiled sincerely.

"But she would be your Queen," April replied factually. "She'd sit beside you in court. She'd be on your arm when you walked through the countryside. She'd bear your children. And I would be your whore, there's no nicer way to say it. We'd only be allowed to be together in the privacy of your chambers," she rationalized. "If I had any children they'd be called bastards. Everyone I know would look at me with pity and disgust. How is that _perfect_?"

The smile that Jackson had been wearing for the majority of the day quickly disappeared. He had thought that it was such a brilliant plan, a way for them to be together, but April saw it entirely differently. She saw herself as his plaything. He didn't want to treat her the way that some other men in the castle treated servant girls. That's not what he wanted.

He struggled to find the right words to explain himself. "April…"

She shook her head before he could say anything else. "I may not be much," she spoke with a shaky voice, "but I'm better than that."

Jackson took a step backwards in shock and that was all of the space that she needed to slip away from him and run down the hallway.

* * *

><p>Jackson sulked around the castle for the next hour or so. With a few words he had ruined everything, and he had just said what his mother had told him. She had made it sound so simple, so ideal. But he understood why April had walked away. Her older sister Olivia had been sent away to serve a lord in a similar way and he knew that she didn't want that life. She wanted a husband and children.<p>

He raised his head when he heard footsteps approaching him. He smiled faintly at the captain of his guard. "Not partaking in the festivities, Sir Sloan?"

The older man shook his head. "No, my Prince. I've been keeping an eye on you, not that you've noticed."

Jackson looked away bashfully but he should have known. Sir Sloan had followed him around the castle like a shadow since he could walk. "What did you hear?" He asked quietly.

"Nothing that you did not wish me to hear," the knight replied obediently.

The Prince chuckled. "Yeah, right."

He trusted Sir Sloan unconditionally; he would even consider him to be a friend. The man had been knighted at the mere age of seventeen and he had been one of his father's most trusted soldiers.

They matched strides as they continued to walk down the dimly lit hallway. Eventually Sloan spoke to break the silence. "Matters of the heart are nothing to laugh about, your grace."

"Such things shouldn't be of concern to a future King," he replied diplomatically.

"That's what they want you to think. They want you to believe that your happiness doesn't matter."

Jackson chuckled at the man's serious tone; he wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to those statements. Were they jokes or facts? Whatever the answer was, he didn't find out.

They rounded the corner and spotted one of the Greys' guards. The man was standing with his back to them but it was apparent that he had a woman held against his chest, mostly likely a servant girl of the castle. The young woman didn't seem to be a complacent party but they had extended the full range of their hospitality to the Greys and Jackson knew exactly what that implied.

But he didn't like it.

Sloan sensed the Prince's uneasiness so he took a step forward. "What is going on here?"

"Nothing, sir," the young guard responded. He probably wasn't much older than Jackson. "Just showing this pretty little thing to my chambers."

"Does she want to go with you?" Jackson spoke up authoritatively.

"Just a little shy is all."

He held the girl's face so tightly against him that they were unable to get a good look at her, and they were willing to bet that the hand that they couldn't see was covering her mouth. But Jackson recognized the shade of her hair, only three girls in the castle possessed that shade of auburn and only two of them were tall enough to be the girl in front of him. It was either the girl that he was in love with or her little sister.

"Let her go," Jackson demanded fiercely. His hand instinctively went to the hilt of his sword and he realized that he was prepared to fight if he had to.

Sloan noticed his movement and grasped his sword as well. "I'd do what the Prince says if I were you."

The man from the North sneered before he tossed the girl in his arms to the floor. "I'll be telling Lady Alexandra about this."

Sloan sent the Prince a meaningful look before he grabbed the Northern guard by the scruff of the neck and guided him away.

Jackson's heart rate accelerated as he rushed to the floor. As terrible as it sounded, he had really hoped that the girl was Kimberly, and not April. Unfortunately that had not been the case.

"April, are you okay?" He asked frantically. The sleeves of her dress were practically torn off and her lip was bleeding.

The man had hit her.

He gently tried to pick her up but she brushed his hands away. "I'm fine," she whispered. "Jackson, I'm fine."

"April," he cooed. "You're bleeding and you're hurt. Just let me…" He didn't finish his sentence but he placed his hands underneath her and she let him lift her into his arms.

He carried her to his chambers and set her down on the bed. He quickly retrieved a bowl of water and a fresh cloth and started to clean her face. She winced when he touched the cloth to her mouth and he could feel his hands begin to shake in anger.

"I should have his head," he told her.

"And what good would that do?" She asked in frustration. "It would ruin the peace that your mother has worked so hard for. The peace that you're marrying for." She stood up, with the intention of leaving his room and returning to her own, but Jackson grasped her hand. She looked down at him with a small smile. "What?"

"I love you, you have to know that," he whispered.

She smiled as she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his temple. "I do and I really wish that it mattered."

* * *

><p>Four days later April married the stable boy and moved out of the castle. The boy's deceased father had left him a small house near the water, far enough away from the castle that Jackson couldn't see the property from any of the windows. He and Alexandra married the day after his name day and it was a celebration for both the South and the North. Although he was not yet of age to truly govern the realm, they were the new King and Queen and everyone seemed overjoyed by their union. People danced in the streets for days after the wedding.<p>

They were the perfect royal bride and groom in both appearance and mannerisms but the celebration ended once the doors to Jackson's chambers closed. Alexandra had her own quarters but they spent the night together.

Seven days later and they still hadn't joined as man and wife. At first Alexandra had been quite relieved. She had been very nervous and had figured that Jackson had picked up on her uneasiness. He had been sweet and considerate and they had talked until morning on their first two nights together. But since then he hadn't said much, and he hadn't even made a move to kiss her or touch her. He seemed absolutely disinterested in her altogether and she was not happy about it.

He spent the entirety of his days in his chambers. He wouldn't talk to any members of his council. He was barely responsive when his mother spoke to him. The only person that he seemed willing to talk to was Sir Sloan.

Alexandra was beginning to worry and she knew that the trusted knight was the only person who could answer her questions.

"Sir Sloan," she began firmly as she walked towards the highly respected man. "King Jackson is he…" She tilted her head towards the door to his chambers and finished quietly, "Does he get like this often?"

She needed to know exactly what she had gotten herself into. Her father and mother hadn't mentioned the King's "spells" when they had talked about him. He was supposed to be the most handsome, charming, intelligent young man in both the North and the South. The most prized husband in all of the lands. He was the heir to the throne! But so far she was unimpressed. He wouldn't even get out of bed. That's not how a King was supposed to act! It certainly wasn't how a Northern man would rule.

Sloan paused before answering honestly. "No, your grace. The King has never behaved like this before."

"Would you happen to know what's going on?" The knight averted his eyes and it was clear that he did know the answer to her question. "Remember, Sir Sloan, your Queen is inquiring."

Sloan cleared his throat and spoke reluctantly. "The King's close friend…April, the servant girl…she married and left the castle. She—"

"You don't have to say anything else," Alexandra interrupted firmly. "Go get her."

She may be young but she wasn't naïve. Her older sister had warned her about such things. She knew what men wanted and if Jackson wanted this girl then he would have her.

"What?" He responded in confusion.

The Queen narrowed her eyes. "Take men with you and go and get this servant girl and bring her to the King. Drag her back here kicking and screaming if you have to."

The young woman stared at him confidently; she was clearly not backing down. Sloan quickly adhered to orders and left his post. He found two other guards to accompany him to Matthew and April's small home and they left the castle on a mission.

The young man, working in the garden, was startled to see the King's guards walking towards him. This was not an everyday occurrence for him so he instantly knew that it had something to do with his wife. "What's going on?" He questioned.

"Matthew, where's April?" Sloan asked with a sympathetic frown.

The stable boy swallowed harshly. "She's inside. Why?"

Sloan started towards the door and raised his hand when Matthew moved towards him. "Don't," he warned. "I don't want to do this but I have orders." He stepped inside the house and spotted April by the fire with her back to him.

The sound of armor alerted the red-head to an unfamiliar presence in her house. She turned around and her eyes widened in surprise. "Sir Sloan? What are you doing here?"

"You've been summoned to the castle, on the Queen's orders," he explained formally.

"The Queen's orders?" She repeated in confusion. She would have figured that any orders from the castle would come from Jackson, especially regarding her.

"Yes, my lady."

April smiled fondly at the man that she had known her entire life. "I'm no lady, Sir Sloan."

"You are to me," he replied softly. He didn't want anything to happen to the girl before him. She felt like family to him.

April wanted to resist, she never wanted to set foot in that castle again, but she knew that defying orders could be dangerous. Her best course of action was to go peacefully to the castle and talk to Jackson to find out what exactly was going on. Why was the new Queen summoning _her_? She untied her apron as she stated calmly, "Okay. I will go." She left her cozy new home with Sloan and Hunt in front of her and a guard that she didn't recognize behind her. He must be from the North.

When she stepped outside, she noticed that Matthew looked incredibly afraid. She smiled at him softly in reassurance. "I'll be back soon."

He tried to force a smile in return but it ended up looking more like a grimace.

April walked to the castle with a sense of dread in her stomach. She had a very bad feeling about this.

They lead her to Jackson's chambers and the guard that she didn't know roughly shoved her inside. She fell to the floor and scrambled to her feet just in time to see Jackson sit up in his bed.

"April?" He called.

She pushed her hair out of her face and peered up at him. He had clearly been in his bed for an extended period of time. He was bare of any clothes as far as her eyes could see and there was a faint smattering of stubble along his jaw. "What am I doing here?" She asked.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I don't know." She stared at him in disbelief. "Honestly. But I'm so happy to see you. You didn't even say goodbye." His heart swelled at the mere sight of her. He regained the energy that he had lost. He felt happy again, and the key to his happiness was so completely and utterly obvious. It was rather pathetic.

Seeing him again was doing very funny things to her, she quickly remembered why she had needed to leave the castle in the first place, and she still didn't know why she was here. She hadn't even seen the Queen. "I h-have to go." She ran to the door, ignoring the call of her name, and tried to flee.

Unfortunately, she had just turned the corner when she encountered Jackson's bride. April halted quickly and curtsied. "Your grace."

"Finished so soon?" Alexandra inquired in a sugary sweet voice.

"Finished? I don't know what you mean, your grace," she replied in confusion.

Alexandra took a dramatic step towards her. "Have you not pleased your King?"

Now April was really confused. Exactly what had Queen Alexandra summoned her to the castle to do? "I'm not…I'm n-not sure," she stuttered.

The brunette scoffed in annoyance. "They didn't tell me you were an idiot." She had absolutely no idea what was so special about this girl.

April had to bite her tongue to keep a snappy retort down. She couldn't talk to a Queen like that, especially one from the North. She had heard stories of the harshness of Northerners.

"In order to be King," Alexandra continued, "my husband needs to be able to leave his bed and I'm told that you can solve that problem. Can you?"

"Your grace, I'm married," April tried to protest.

Alexandra smiled, and there was no mistaking that it had a sinister quality to it. "I'm sure your husband will understand that you were only doing what's best for the realm."

April gulped and, under the weight of the Queen's harsh gaze, began to walk back towards Jackson's chambers.

She was furious, and although she couldn't speak out against the Queen, she had no problem letting Jackson know how she felt. "You set your wife on me!" She screeched as she stomped towards him and smacked his chest.

He fell back onto the bed in surprise. "What? No! I didn't! I didn't know you were coming here." She still looked incredibly enraged so he grasped her hand and pulled her down so that she sat next to him on the bed. "I didn't," he whispered.

"So you didn't tell her that I have to_ please _you?" She spat.

He firmly shook his head. "No," he declared, "I didn't. I was trying to leave you alone."

"It didn't work," she chuckled softly. He laughed and opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off by pressing her lips to his. She held his face between her hands and pulled back after a moment. "Sorry," she whispered in embarrassment, "I had to do that."

"Don't apologize," he grinned. He took that initial kiss as a sign to do it again. He kissed her hungrily and muttered between kisses. "April…take off your clothes…let's be together…we're supposed to…I waited for you…"

She tried to pull away from him but he refused to let her go. "Jackson, I can't. I have a husband."

He bristled unhappily at the title. "Have you given yourself to him?" He asked with hard eyes.

"He's my _husband_," she answered. "What else was I supposed to do?"

His top lip curled into a sneer and he gripped her waist with one hand. "Did he make you quiver?"

She blushed fiercely and placed her hands firmly against his bare chest. "I don't have to answer that."

The truth was that it had been neither terrible nor pleasant. It had simply just been. Matthew was incredibly sweet and so there was no short of kisses, and he loved holding her. But she had expected to have more of a connection with her husband. It was incredibly childish of her, she knew that. She was comparing the feelings that she had for Matthew with her feelings for Jackson and they were just impossible to compare.

"Yes, you do," he retorted quickly. "Because you've always been mine and he knows that."

"Jackson," she sighed in frustration. "He's my husband. I've lain with him just like you have with Alexandra," she tried to reason.

"But I haven't lain with her," he admitted after a pause. "Because I wanted to be with you."

All of April's pent up anger and frustration dissipated and she exhaled heavily. She ran her fingers along his cheekbones as she frowned. "Jackson, you have to. She's your wife. You have to have children."

He leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. "Can I be with you first?"

How was she supposed to deny him such a request? This boy that she had loved for so long…that she knew loved her with all of his heart. Even though she knew that it was wrong, she wanted to be with him too. It would be a moment that had nothing to do with their stations in life and one that no one could take away from them.

She smiled before she kissed him passionately.

* * *

><p>April laid her head on Jackson's chest and panted against his damp skin as he ran a hand along her naked back.<p>

"What was that?" She giggled when she found enough breath.

He bit down on his lip to contain a smug grin. The truth was that Sloan had told him how to please a woman and he had been eager to try it out. He wasn't so egotistical that he believed that his minute or two of mind-blowing pleasure had done anything for April. "Just something I heard about," he answered innocently.

She raised her head and looked up at him with rosy cheeks. "My mother never told me about _that_. I didn't know you could do that with your tongue," she stated shyly. Matthew certainly didn't know either because he had never ventured to perform such an act. She ran her fingers along Jackson's well-toned chest as she pondered. "Could I do that to you?"

He smirked cheekily. "Are you asking for permission?"

She blushed and smacked his chest. "No…I, uh…I…"

He chuckled and cut off her rambling with a kiss. He threaded a hand through her thick hair and tugged her head forward so that they were eye level. She was now lying on top of him with her breasts pressed against his chest and he certainly couldn't complain about the position. "Stay the night?" He asked quietly. "Now that I've been inside you, I can't imagine feeling anything better."

"You shouldn't say things like that," she told him. He was supposed to be faithful to his wife and her to her husband, and yet Jackson felt more like her husband than Matthew ever would.

He rolled her beneath him and grinned down at her devilishly. "I'm the King; I can say whatever I want."

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to respond but he smothered her mouth with his instead. He kissed her hungrily, his tongue sweeping inside of her mouth, but they were interrupted by the large, heavy door opening.

"Sloan, you should know better," he growled in annoyance as his eyes remained fixed on April. He had been immensely looking forward to being with her again. He was already aroused enough.

"I apologize, your grace," Sloan answered quickly as he turned his head to look out the window. "The Queen would like to speak with you."

Jackson wasn't even granted the opportunity to respond before Alexandra waltzed into his room with one of her guards trailing behind her. The young King scowled before he sat up and stared at her. "What?" He asked rather challengingly. She clearly didn't have a problem with him being with another woman, she had sent April to him after all. So why was she bothering him?

Alexandra's gaze shifted towards the woman in the bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin. "It's time for her to leave." She tilted her head towards her guard and the man took a step towards the bed.

"Don't take another step," Jackson commanded.

The Northerner halted before he sneered. "Sorry, your grace," he apologized derisively. "I take my orders from the Queen."

At the man's words, Jackson instantly recognized a flaw that neither he nor his mother had anticipated: the loyalty of Northerners to their own kind. They would serve the Queen, but they would not serve him. He gulped in fear; he may have made a grave error in marrying Alexandra. He had not considered all of the facts, and the girl that stood before him now was not the same one that had stepped out of the carriage before their first meeting. She was only showing her true colours now, and they were ugly.

April was yanked from his bed and thankfully Sloan was there to cover her up and preserve her modesty. He escorted her to the door and Jackson sent her a look of longing.

He felt like flying into a rage when April left with the two guards, leaving him alone with his wife. "What exactly was the meaning of that?"

"Maybe you'll focus on ruling now," she replied matter-of-factly. "Now that all of your attention is not_ elsewhere_."

Jackson wanted to pout but he felt that it was undignified. Kings were not supposed to pout. "I love her," he stated truthfully. "You should know that." He wanted to add that he would never love her the way that he loved April but he felt as if it was too harsh.

"And I let you have her," she replied with a fake smile. "And I can just as easily take her away."

Jackson narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying?" He asked slowly.

"I think you know," she answered meaningfully.

And he did. Her implication was clear, if he didn't start acting like a King then she would never let him see April again, or worse. He didn't even want to think about the things that Alexandra's men could do to her. He couldn't let anything happen to her, or her family, so Alexandra had him exactly where she wanted him. He would rule, and he would rule the way that she wanted him to. No more, no less.

She bowed to him mockingly. "I will see you at dinner, _my King_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I will post new one shots as the muse moves me. Feel free to send me your crazy AU ideas!**

**Please leave a review! :)**

**P.S. These are _one shots..._no more chapters. Don't ask! Lol.**


	2. Freaks and Geeks

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing the last one! I'm glad that you guys are open to these crazy ideas. So, this one wasn't really inspired by _The Big Bang Theory_ but I did imagine their apartment. Lol. And now, I present: nerd Jackson! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as always.**

* * *

><p>Jackson focused his full attention on his breakfast as Meredith Grey pulled her shirt over her head as she sprinted across the apartment. He could feel his cheeks heat as he caught a flash of her bright red bra and it made his plate full of food all the more interesting. "Morning Meredith," he greeted quietly.<p>

"Hey Jackson! I'm running really late so see you next week!" She called as she ran out the door.

"Bye Meredith," he called after her pointlessly.

He sighed as the door slammed shut and he turned back to his plate of toast and scrambled eggs. He readjusted his position on the stool at the island before he resumed eating. Most people would think that talking to beautiful women everyday would approve your social skills, but so far it hadn't worked for Jackson. He supposed the fact that the beautiful women were his roommate's conquests didn't help him. They were never interested in him to begin with.

But he had been living with Matthew Taylor for four years now, so he should be used to the endless parade of gorgeous women.

Yet he wasn't. Probably never would be.

On Monday mornings he saw Meredith Grey. Beautiful and mysterious. When she stayed to have breakfast with him he found her rather fascinating to converse with, she was rather insightful but also quite dark. As of last week, Tuesday mornings had been reserved for Cristina Yang. She was beautiful too, and brilliant, but very mean. Most of the time she had just ignored him. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to endure that anymore because Matthew had ended things with her, claiming that she was "too much of a downer". Wednesdays mornings, he made a special batch of coffee for Leah Murphy because she was always nice enough to ask. She was an energetic college student who was quick-witted and full of spunk. He liked her, and unsurprisingly, she was beautiful as well. Thursday mornings he stuttered his way through an interaction with Izzie Stevens. She was probably the most beautiful of all of Matthew's girlfriends. She was tall, blonde, and an underwear model. She was intimidating to say the least.

The weekends were Jackson's favourite time of the week because that's when he saw who Matthew referred to as his _real _girlfriend, April Kepner. She was beautiful and smart and kind, and perfect…and Jackson was head over heels for her. She treated Jackson like an equal, a friend even. She was working on her thesis in behavioural psychology so they were actually able to have an intelligent conversation. She had been dating Matthew for over a year and Jackson had no idea why they were even together. What did she see in him?

He rolled his eyes as he pondered the answer to his stupid question. Right, Matthew was dreamy. Women fell at his feet because he was tall and muscular with a charming smile and great hair. He was a model turned actor. He now had a recurring role in a daytime soap opera and his busy work schedule was probably what allowed him to sleep around without April getting suspicious. He was on set all day and he spent most of his nights learning lines and practicing his scenes, at least that's what he told his girlfriend. He reserved his weekends for her and that seemed to be enough for April, especially since she was incredibly busy as well.

Jackson didn't condone Matthew's actions but the guy was his friend. They had known each other for a long time and tattling on him would just be wrong, and he was afraid that he would hurt April by telling her the truth.

He couldn't bring himself to do that.

He was completely in love with the perky red-head and she was totally into Matthew, and Jackson couldn't really blame her. The guy seemed pretty perfect. He had to admit that aside from the whole sleeping with multiple women thing, Matthew treated April very well. He was sweet and affectionate with her, he bought her nice things, and took her on trips…and Jackson was well, he was just Jackson. He was tall and skinny with curly hair that was just a little too long. He had some muscle tone but he appeared lanky next to Matthew. He was socially awkward and struggled with talking to women; he usually just didn't have much in common with them. He wore large glasses because contacts irritated his eyes, he thought that his feet were way too large for his body, and he knew that he had a terrible fashion sense. Not to mention that his job wasn't exactly a babe magnet, he was a research chemist at Cal Tech. He had a PhD from MIT and an IQ of 185; most women were incredibly intimidated, or _annoyed_, by his intelligence.

He didn't exactly have women lining up for him, and it didn't matter anyway because he just wanted April.

"Hey man, good morning," Matthew greeted him as he strolled into the kitchen in just his boxers.

Jackson tried not to appear envious, or creepy, as his eyes roved over Matthew's chiselled upper body. "Hey," Jackson murmured. "How's it going?"

"Pretty good. I don't have to be on set until noon, which is why it sucks that Meredith had to go into work early."

Jackson screwed up his nose in distaste. "Yeah, that sucks," he agreed weakly.

"But it's okay because I'm going to meet up with April," he smiled.

Jackson's mood picked up instantly. "April's coming by?"

Matthew shook his head as he grabbed a carton of orange juice out of the refrigerator. "No, we're going to go out for breakfast. I think I'll take her to that little café she likes around the corner from UCLA."

The dark-skinned man held back a sigh. She really did love that place. "Sounds great."

Matthew nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I should take a quick shower first though. I'll see you later, man. Have a good day!"

"You too," Jackson responded.

He groaned aloud and smacked his forehead once his roommate was out of ear shot. He was never going to get the girl.

* * *

><p>Jackson was startled when his morning routine was interrupted by a knock on the door. He was immediately confused. Hardly anyone visited him in the lab. He was essentially a hermit. He usually ate lunch in the cafeteria with a few coworkers but they were too busy in their own labs to visit him. He laid his pencil down on the lab bench and turned towards the door slowly. "Come in?" He called awkwardly.<p>

The door opened and his breath hitched in his throat. April was his visitor. April…in all of her glory…with her gorgeous auburn hair, flawless skin, and bright smile. He instantly felt his throat constrict and his palms sweat. He pushed his glasses farther up his nose before he wiped his hands on his lab coat. "April…hi…uh, good morning," he cleared his throat and smiled. "Um, what's up?"

She smiled at him happily as she laid the bag slung over her shoulder on a nearby chair and removed her coat. "I wanted to talk to you." She walked towards the end of the lab bench and rested her elbows on the tabletop. She pushed her hair out of her face and batted her eyelashes at him. "And I kinda need a favour."

"Anything," he responded way too eagerly. He blushed and turned away to look at his clipboard. He pretended to look at his results and ponder their implications. "I mean, I think I'll have time, depends on what it is?"

She bit down on her lip nervously before she asked, "Can you read the final draft of my thesis?" Jackson was the smartest guy that she knew, which was why she wanted him to read it, and yet was so overwhelmingly nervous about giving it to him. What if he thought it was a pile of crap? What if he said that she needed to scrap everything and start over? "I would really appreciate it."

Jackson already knew that he was going to say yes. He would never deny her anything. "Yeah, sure, I can do that."

She squealed excitedly before she moved towards her bag and pulled out a folder. "Thank you! I think that it's still a little rough but I will appreciate any suggestions you have."

"I'm sure that it'll be great," he smiled confidently.

April was brilliant, she was a great writer and she had great ideas. They talked about science all the time, mostly when Matthew wasn't around. She was the one of the only women that he knew that he could talk about self-assembling nanostructures with.

She was just really great.

She placed the paper in front of him and began to explain what exactly she had written about and the format of her paper. Jackson, for the most part, zoned out on whatever she was saying and focused on her beautiful face. Her lips and her eyes…and he just knew that he could gaze at her for hours…and think about what it would be like to kiss her.

He snapped out of it when April giggled his name. "Jackson? Where did you go?"

He blushed and guiltily looked away. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Did all of the psychology bore you already?" She teased.

He knew that she was joking but he responded seriously. "I don't think your work is boring. I think it's awesome."

She smiled sweetly. "Thanks."

He needed a minute to breathe so he picked up her paper and carried it to his desk in the corner of the room. "So, I will read that and make some notes and give it back to you."

"That sounds great," she responded excitedly.

He nodded with a smile and expected her to leave, but she stayed. She was still leaning on his lab bench smiling at him. "I have another favour to ask you," she revealed after a moment.

"What is it?" He chuckled.

"Matthew's birthday is coming up and I was wondering if you could help me throw a surprise party for him."

Jackson forced the smile to remain on his face. He never forgot that April was Matthew's girlfriend, but any reminders still bothered him. "What do you have in mind?" He questioned tentatively.

"Just if you could, on Saturday, keep him out of the apartment for the day so that I can decorate and set up, and stuff," she explained.

He nodded as he looked down at his shoes. "Yeah, I can probably do that."

She smiled brightly and lunged forward to place a kiss on his cheek. "You're the best, Jackson!" He blushed traitorously but she didn't seem to notice as she chattered excitedly. "And you can invite whoever you want. You should definitely invite Lexie."

His eyes widened in confusion. "What? Why?" Why would April want him to invite Lexie the lab assistant to Matthew's party?

April grinned suggestively, "Jackson, she likes you."

He shook his head as he felt himself getting flustered. "Uh…I don't think so. We-we're friends…we're just friends."

"I think she does," the red-head giggled, "and why wouldn't she? You're a great guy." She stepped forward and gently pulled his lab goggles and glasses off of his face. "And you should show off those eyes more. They're lethal."

He smiled and tried to laugh it off, the truth was that her proximity was doing terrible things to him. "I'm as blind as a bat now." He knew that there were little things that he could change about himself that would make him appear more attractive, like wearing contacts. He had a pretty decent face; he just didn't see the point of changing. He wanted to be himself. He didn't want women to see him as just a pretty guy, like they saw Matthew.

She continued to stare into his gorgeous blue-green eyes and she could sense his unease. "Sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable. I should go now anyway. I'll see you later."

He thought about calling after her but ultimately decided against it. If he asked her to stay he would probably just make a fool out of himself anyway. Her leaving was for the best.

* * *

><p>The next day Jackson returned home from work to find April cooking in their kitchen. Well, she was trying to cook, Matthew was a little too all over her for her to accomplish anything. She giggled loudly as he kissed her neck and the sound turned Jackson's stomach. He slammed the apartment door shut and the bang caught their attention.<p>

They both turned around to face him and he forced a smile. "Hey."

"Hey man," Matthew grinned. "How was work? Blow anything up?" He joked.

"Hi Jackson," April giggled as Matthew's hands tickled her waist.

"What are you cooking?" Jackson inquired.

"Oh, just chicken alfredo and garlic bread," she answered. "It's almost done."

"Cool," Jackson answered as he took a seat on the sofa.

"I told her that she didn't have to come over and cook dinner," Matthew began, "but she insisted."

Jackson couldn't stop himself from thinking that Matthew was just lucky that he had cancelled his Monday night's romps with Cristina Yang. Otherwise, he would have to find a way to usher April out of the apartment sooner rather than later. But now she could stay here overnight and still not discover the truth about her boyfriend. And Jackson could revel in his extended state of misery.

After dinner, which was absolutely delicious, Matthew sat in the living room with a beer while Jackson helped April clean up.

He dried the dishes that she washed and carefully placed them in their designated spots. "Dinner was great, thanks," he told her quietly.

"No problem," she smiled. "I love to cook but it's not much fun cooking for just one. It's nice to come over here and cook for you guys." She looked over her shoulder at Matthew and her smile widened even further. "Besides, we're both so busy, it's good to spend time together whenever we can."

Jackson nodded as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Right. That makes sense."

"So," she began thoughtfully as she washed another plate. "I don't think I've ever asked. How long have you and Matthew lived together?"

"Four years," he replied. "I moved out here after I finished my PhD at MIT and this was the first place that I looked at. Matthew was still modelling at the time. He seemed like a nice enough guy and we both had busy schedules that worked well together. It was very much a setup of necessity but it worked. We're complete opposites but we're friends."

"Your friendship is really cute," April grinned. "You guys get along really well."

Jackson opened his mouth to respond but remained silent when her heard footsteps behind him. His roommate placed his empty beer bottle on the kitchen counter before he rested both of his hands on Jackson's shoulders. "I'm always trying to convince the guy to come out with me so that I can fix him up with a girl but he works too hard."

The chemist smiled good-naturedly with a shrug. "I'm just not in the market for a relationship right now," he lied.

Matthew chuckled. "Who said anything about a relationship? We can just find you a girl that'll make you have the IQ of a normal dude."

April gently smacked her boyfriend's chest. "Jackson's better than that. He doesn't want meaningless one night stands. Being in a relationship is much more fulfilling. Right, honey?" She asked Matthew as she kissed him lightly on the lips.

"You are entirely right," Matthew responded quickly.

Jackson managed to stop himself from making obnoxious gagging sounds as he watched them kiss. The irony was just entirely too much for him. He laid the dishtowel on the kitchen counter before he excused himself. "I'm going to go in my room and do some work."

"Bye Jackson," April called.

"Yeah, see ya later, man," Matthew added through kisses.

Four hours later, Jackson removed his headphones and stared down at the last paragraph of April's thesis with a smile. He had read her paper in one sitting, from beginning to end, and had enjoyed every word of it. He had made some suggestions and points of constructive criticism here and there but overall he thought that the entire thing was brilliant. Her research was fascinating and her writing was great.

She was just brilliant.

He wrapped his headphones around his IPod and laid the device on his bedside table. He decided that he would read through April's thesis one more time before going to bed.

He had just finished rereading the first page when he heard very distinct noises from Matthew's bedroom. Unfortunately, their rooms shared a wall.

"Jesus Christ," he murmured under his breath.

He hated listening to Matthew's extracurricular activities but it was exponentially worse when he knew that the woman with him was April…and April was _loud_. He could hear her panting and screaming Matthew's name and it made his skin crawl. He knew that the guy was good in bed but this was just ridiculous.

Jackson angrily hopped off of his bed and left his room. He headed to the living room, the room furthest away from Matthew's bedroom, and turned on the television. He channel surfed until he found a documentary about the atomic bomb on the History Channel. He turned it up loud enough to drown out any residual noise and wrapped himself in a blanket.

* * *

><p>He was awoken early the next morning by April's hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she smiled, "what are you doing sleeping on the couch?"<p>

Jackson looked around in confusion before he remembered why exactly he had moved from his room to the couch. "I…uh…I…this documentary was on…"

Her eyes lit up excitedly and she sat down next to him on the sofa. "What was it about?"

He tiredly scratched his face. He really needed to shave. "Oppenheimer and the atomic bomb."

She sighed in disappointment and smacked his leg. "Ah, you should have let me know it was on! I would have watched it with you!"

Jackson's eyes zeroed in on her hand, which was still resting on his calf, and for the first time he realized that she was sitting right next to him and he was wearing just his boxers and a plain, white t-shirt, with only a blanket covering his lap. He had never been this close to such a gorgeous woman in so little clothing. "Uhhh…you were...busy, I think," he finally responded.

April blushed in embarrassment and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I—"

Jackson waved his hand to get her to stop talking. He didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to think about it. He glanced at his watch as he started to stand. "I should really get ready for work. I'll see you later."

He practically ran into the bathroom and April fell back against the couch with a sigh. They got along incredibly well but sometimes she got the impression that Jackson really didn't like her.

* * *

><p>On Wednesday morning, Jackson woke up and looked forward to his morning coffee with Leah Murphy. She was the only woman that passed through this apartment that was aware that other women frequently passed through the apartment as well. Jackson didn't feel as if he had to hide anything from her and it was a relief.<p>

She energetically pranced into the kitchen and greeted him with a smile. "Good morning Dr. Avery!"

He grinned as he poured her a cup of coffee. "Good morning, Leah. How are you?"

"I'm great. I don't have class until noon but I want to get a good workout in. What are you up to today?"

"The same as always," he answered dejectedly. "Just work."

"Researching stuff?" She teased.

He laughed, "Yeah, exactly." He turned towards the stove and asked, "Do you want me to make some eggs?"

Leah shook her head. "No, I'll get something to eat after the gym. What I really want is the name of the girl that you're in love with?"

"Uh…excuse me…w-what?" He stammered.

Leah grinned mischievously. "You're in love. It's written all over your face. And I'm willing to bet," she emphasized excitedly, "that it's someone you see on a regular basis. So who is it? Is it Monday morning girl Meredith Grey?"

Jackson responded to her dangerous line of questioning with a question. "It really doesn't bother you that he sleeps with other women and that you know their names?"

She shook her head and answered nonchalantly. "It really doesn't. It's just fun. I'm not serious about him. He's really good in bed but he's really not my type."

Jackson grimaced, "You really don't need to talk about how good in bed he is."

Leah threw back her head and laughed. "Sorry."

"I hear enough testimonials to that fact every night," he continued in annoyance.

The brunette raised an eyebrow in interest. "I hit a nerve. Well I know you're not in love with me," she stated confidently. "You'd be much more flustered right now if you were. So is it Izzie Stevens? She's a babe." He remained silent and refused to answer her. "April Kepner?" She tried next.

"Just stop asking questions," he finally spoke. "I am not in love with any of the women that my roommate is seeing."

"See I was willing to believe that until I mentioned April's name and you responded like that. You're in love with the girlfriend," she accused.

He shook his head adamantly. "No, no I'm not. April and I, we just…we just have a lot in common. We-we talk a lot and we're interested in the same things. B-but she really likes him so…so we're just friends."

Leah stared at him sympathetically. "I'm so sorry. I was just teasing, I didn't know that you really loved her but obviously you do."

He thrummed his fingertips against the tabletop of the island. "Yeah, I do," he whispered. "But it doesn't matter."

"Of course it does," she argued. "Just tell her. Let her know. Give her a choice."

He sighed, "She really likes him. It won't matter."

"Let her decide that," Leah persisted. She finished her cup of coffee and leaped over the island so that she could place an over exaggerated kiss on his cheek. "Smart and sweet are the new sexy!" She chimed as she grabbed her bag and headed towards the door.

She left and Jackson frowned to himself. "Yeah, right," he muttered.

* * *

><p>Saturday, the day of Matthew's surprise birthday party arrived, and Jackson spent the morning searching his brain for ways that he could get his roommate out of the apartment for a considerable amount of time. He had promised April that he would get Matthew out of their place by at least two o'clock. But so far he didn't have any ideas.<p>

Matthew strolled out of bed just after noon and lazily scratched his bare stomach as he mumbled a greeting.

Jackson energetically jumped off of the couch and ran into the kitchen. "Happy birthday, man."

"Thanks," Matthew smiled as he turned on the coffee pot.

"So," Jackson began, "what are you gonna do today?"

The taller man shrugged. "I dunno. I might go to the gym. Izzie texted me this morning so I might meet up with her." He turned to Jackson with a grin as a thought struck him. "April said she has a present that she wants to give me tonight. Man, I hope its lingerie."

Jackson hid his uncomfortable expression. "Do you wanna go to a movie today or something? Just us guys."

Matthew chuckled, "I love you, man, but there are more exciting ways to spend my birthday."

The dark-skinned man rolled his eyes before he blurted out the truth. "April is throwing you a surprise party tonight and it's my job to get you out of the apartment this afternoon!"

His eyes widened. "She's throwing me a party?" He questioned with a smile.

Jackson nodded and replied quietly, "Yeah, she is. She really cares about you, Matthew."

"I really care about her too," he responded instantly. Jackson raised an eyebrow and Matthew spoke as if he was offended. "I do! I know I don't show it a lot but I do. She's amazing."

Jackson bristled in annoyance and his face flushed in anger. If he cared about her so much and thought that she was amazing then why did he need to see other women? Jackson really didn't understand. If April was his, he wouldn't even think about other women.

"Let's just go to the movies," he grumbled.

"Do you have something to say?" Matthew probed.

Jackson shook his head and lied. "Nope. Not at all."

* * *

><p>During the party, Jackson stood in the corner of his kitchen next to one of his friends from work, Alex Karev. He and Karev were in similar fields of study so they often collaborated on projects and exchanged ideas. They were also similar in a lot of other ways. In other words, Alex was a geek just like him with large glasses and awkward mannerisms.<p>

Matthew had appeared appropriately surprised and then he had proceeded to make out with April in front of everyone. Their apartment was crowded with a lot of Matthew's friends and some of the cast and crew of his soap opera. April had invited a few of her friends as well and some of Jackson's coworkers were here. There was birthday cake and snacks, and lots and lots of alcohol. Jackson was already two drinks in and he had a feeling he was going to get very drunk tonight.

He just couldn't stand watching April and Matthew together. It seemed as if he had reached his boiling point, his level of tolerance had expired, and he just couldn't watch them together anymore, not knowing what he knew.

"There are so many beautiful women here," Alex stated nervously.

Jackson nodded in agreement as he focused on April. "Yeah, some of Matthew's co-stars are here. Soap operas are full of pretty people," he said bitterly.

"Who's that brunette over there?" Alex asked.

Jackson tore his gaze away from the red-head and tried to figure out who Alex was referring to. He finally realized who his friend's eyes were trained on and he couldn't help but release a chuckle. "Oh that's Leah Murphy. She's a _friend_ of Matthew's." He had invited Leah to the party because he liked her and because he knew that she wouldn't be a source of drama, and perhaps a small part of him hoped that she would say something to April.

"She kinda looks like Sandra Bullock, don't ya think?"

"A little," Jackson shrugged. He looked down into his empty class in disappointment. "I'm empty. Do you want another drink?"

"No, thanks." Jackson took a step forward but Alex grabbed his arm in alarm. "Dude," he began, "you can't leave me here alone. What if she comes over to talk to me?"

"Then talk about your research or something," he shrugged. "I don't know! Why are you asking me? I have as much luck with women as you do!"

Jackson walked off in frustration and headed towards the table with all of the liquor bottles on it. He wasn't much of a drinker but tonight he would be.

A few hours later, he was very intoxicated and in dire need of the facilities. He stumbled to the bathroom and knocked on the closed door. "Come out please!" He demanded.

The door flung open and he was greeted by the sight of Alex, glasses askew, with a slender brunette wrapped around him. His friend was clearly enjoying himself, returning the woman's kisses hungrily. It took Jackson a moment to realize that the woman was Leah.

The couple finally broke apart for air and Jackson stared at them in shock. Alex looked back at him with a shit-eating grin and Leah offered him a smile.

"Hey Jackson, we'll just be going now," she stated.

"We will?" Alex asked eagerly.

She nodded. "We will." She grabbed his hand and tugged him down the hallway.

"So that's your type?" Jackson called after her.

"I told you!" She yelled back over her shoulder. "Smart and sweet are the new sexy!"

Jackson shook his head in disbelief as they disappeared around the corner and he stepped into the bathroom. Alex, of all people, was getting lucky tonight. He couldn't believe it.

After doing his business, he left the bathroom and practically bowled over April in the hallway. "Oh! I'm so sorry," he apologized as he gripped her shoulders.

"It's okay," she laughed. "I'm fine. No harm done."

Jackson smiled uncontrollably as he looked down at her. He really wanted to say _it_. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her. "April, can I talk to you?" He asked nervously.

She nodded. "Yeah, sure, but can I pee first?"

"Y-yeah, of course," he stuttered. "I'll be in my room."

He walked into his bedroom and sat down on the end of his bed. He wiped his sweaty palms on his slacks as he anxiously waited for April to join him. It was probably just the alcohol talking but he felt that now was his opportunity and he would regret it if he didn't tell her that he loved her tonight.

He was in the middle of fidgeting with the placement of his glasses when his door opened and April stepped inside his room.

She began to speak before he got the opportunity to start. "I just wanted to thank you again for helping me with this! I really appreciate it and everyone's enjoying themselves! Matthew was surprised, huh?" She laughed.

He nodded and lied, "Yes, he was. He never saw it coming."

"Great," she giggled. "That's really great. I've wanted to do something like this for him for a while. I feel like we're getting really serious and—"

"No, you're not," Jackson interrupted her in frustration. "You're not getting serious."

She looked at him in surprise. His voice had taken on a cold edge that she had never heard before. "Jackson," she replied calmly, "I don't think you really have the right to judge. What's going on in mine and Matthew's relationship is between me and Matthew."

"Yeah, and the three other women he's sleeping with," he angrily bit out.

"Um, excuse me?" April squeaked.

Jackson's voice grew softer as he gazed at her. He hadn't meant to just blurt that out. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to tell you like that."

She gulped for air as she fought back a barrage of tears. She felt as if her entire world had just been turned upside down. She would have never considered herself to be a naïve individual but apparently she was incredibly easy to dupe. Matthew would have some pretty lame excuses for why he couldn't spend time with her at times but she had never imagined that he was seeing other people. She always figured that he was tired from filming, or he just wanted some time to himself.

She had really been falling for him and now she felt like an idiot.

"How long has he been sleeping with other women?" She asked shakily.

"Since you've started dating," Jackson answered reluctantly. "He's never been with just one woman since I've known him. I'm sorry."

Well now she felt like an even bigger idiot. She took a long moment to think before she asked, "And you knew this whole time and you never told me?" She had thought that she and Jackson were friends. She had thought that he would at least have the decency to tell her something like _this_.

"I-I d-didn't…I didn't want to hurt you," he responded genuinely. "I care about you…_a lot_."

She scoffed, "Yet you didn't tell me that my boyfriend was making a fool out of me?" She jumped to her feet in anger and headed towards the door.

"April, wait, please!" He called. She stopped at the door and spun around to face him. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I didn't want to tell you because I thought maybe you'd think I had ulterior motives."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "What? Why would I think that?"

"Because…because…because…" He took a deep breath and bravely trudged forward. "Because I love you."

Jackson grew nervous as more time passed in silence. The way that April stared at him made it very clear that she had had no idea. She had not seen this coming.

She looked at the man in front of her, sitting on his bed in his black slacks, white shirt, and black bowtie and she just couldn't wrap her head around what he was saying. He was so different from Matthew. Jackson had half of Matthew's confidence and half of his charm. He wore white socks with black pants for God's sake! And this man was in love with her?

"Jackson…"

As soon as she spoke he knew that it wasn't good news. He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was trying to figure out a way to let him down easy. "It's okay," he butt in. "You don't have to say anything else. I get it." He grabbed her thesis off of his bedside table and brought it to her. "There you go. I'm done with it. It's really good," he muttered.

He reached for the doorknob and she tried to stop him from leaving by placing her hand on top of his. "Jackson, wait a second, don't leave."

He plastered a smile on his face. "Really, its fine. We can just pretend that this never happened. It's not a big deal."

* * *

><p>Jackson went for a long walk and when he returned to the apartment all of the party guests had left and he could hear that Matthew and April were in the middle of an argument. He took no joy in their fighting, he just felt empty.<p>

He hid in his room until late the next day and when he finally asked Matthew what happened between them he said that April had dumped him after finding messages from other women on his phone. Jackson wasn't sure what to make of the fact that April hadn't revealed that he had told her the truth.

Matthew seemed a little down about the breakup but Jackson knew that he would rebound quickly. He always did. He could have any woman that he wanted; he would find a replacement quickly and hopefully Jackson wouldn't fall in love with her.

Monday morning at work, he learned from Alex that what had happened between him and Leah had not been a one night stand. So Jackson began to see Leah on a fairly regular basis instead of just on Wednesday mornings. He was happy for his friend but he couldn't help but envy him too.

Not long after that, Matthew ended things with Meredith Grey and started to exclusively date Izzie Stevens. His roommate was definitely struggling with monogamy but he was making a real effort, and he asked Jackson for advice regularly. Jackson had to admit that he was rather proud of the guy. Matthew wasn't actually half as sleazy as he had appeared when he had been seeing multiple women. He was actually a pretty good guy; he just enjoyed women a little too much.

A lot of things around Jackson had changed in the three months since Matthew's birthday but his life had stayed virtually the same. He still had the same everyday routine, he still worked too much, and he was still single. He hadn't seen April since that night and he was too scared to call her.

He had given up all hope of ever seeing her again on the very day that she showed up at his lab.

He almost dropped the beaker that he was holding when he turned his head and found her standing in the doorway. "A-April?"

She smiled and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. "Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?" He was honestly too shocked to say anything else. A part of him was convinced that he was hallucinating. It wouldn't be the first time that he had imagined April showing up out of nowhere looking gorgeous. "You look nice," he gulped. She was wearing a black pants suit and a white blouse. Her hair was curled and she was also wearing heels. She looked very professional but also very sexy.

"Thank you. I defended my thesis today," she told him.

"How did it go?" He asked curiously.

"It went great," she grinned. "Your comments really helped a lot. I couldn't have done it without you."

He awkwardly shuffled his feet as he responded, "Glad I could help." He nervously bit down on his bottom lip before he brought up the elephant in the room. "I'm sorry about you and Matthew, I know—"

She stepped up to him, grabbed his face in both hands, and pressed her mouth to his to prevent him from saying anything else. When the kiss ended, she placed both of her hands on his chest and grinned up at him. "We don't need to talk about that."

It had taken her a few weeks to realize that she had not acted appropriately to either of Jackson's confessions. She couldn't blame him for not telling her about Matthew's indiscretions. He had been protecting her while remaining loyal to his friend. It had been a tough position for him to be in. And she had been so taken aback by his declaration of love that she hadn't known how to respond. As more time passed, she realized how stupid she had been. A girl couldn't do any better than Jackson Avery. He was the smartest and sweetest guy that she had ever met.

…And she had feelings for him too. She wasn't in love with him yet but she could be.

So as soon as her thesis defense had ended, she knew exactly where she needed to go and who she needed to see.

Jackson was absolutely speechless. He had no idea what to say. She had just kissed him. He had thought about this for a long time and now he had no idea what to do. He felt very stupid for the first time in his life.

"Are you going to say something?" She giggled.

He licked his lips as he raised his hands to rest on her waist. "I don't know what to say. Help me out," he chuckled. April moved her mouth to his ear and began to nibble on his earlobe. "Okay," he swallowed, "I'm not going to be able to say anything if you keep doing that."

She giggled again and pressed her face against his neck. He was too cute for words. "Did you really mean what you said?" She asked seriously. "That you love me?"

"Yeah," he answered quickly. "I do love you."

April responded by kissing him hungrily and he gladly went along with her. She pushed his lab coat off of his shoulders as she walked him back towards his desk. He chuckled awkwardly as his butt collided with the wooden edge but it didn't draw his focus away from the task at hand. He threaded a hand through her hair as he enthusiastically pulled her bottom lip into his mouth.

He couldn't believe that he was actually doing this…in his lab…with April…

Maybe he _was _dreaming.

"Is your lab bench safe to sit on?" She breathed.

He nodded even though he was confused by her question. "Yeah, of course. I just cleaned up from an experiment actually."

She grinned at him devilishly before she walked backwards and jumped up onto the bench. She grabbed his hand and pulled him forward so that he was standing between her legs. She ran her hands over his newly shaved head, which she was definitely a fan of, before she started to unbutton his shirt. His lips were attached to her neck as he blazed a trail down to her cleavage.

He had no idea what he was doing but he was certainly enjoying it.

He pulled away so that he could look her in the eye when he felt her tug on his belt. "Are we…I mean, are we gonna…?" He trailed off and his cheeks flushed.

"Yeah," she panted, "if you want to that is."

"Of course I do!" He responded quickly. "Just maybe…um…we should go to a bed for our first time?"

"You are so unbelievably sweet," she muttered through kisses. She pulled his shirt wide open and ran her fingertips down his torso. "Wow," she whispered. She had no idea that he was so toned and defined, probably nobody knew. "Or we could just go to a bed later?" Her voice was thick and laden with arousal.

She was looking at him with dark eyes, flushed cheeks, and plump lips. He didn't have the self-control to say no. "Yeah, that sounds good." He eagerly returned his mouth to hers as he pushed her blazer off of her shoulders. "Yeah…bed later. Much better idea."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! :)**


	3. Wanna Bet?

**A/N: Here's a little high school Japril for you! I'm not entirely sure if I'm content with this piece to be honest. It's a little long for my taste and something about the pacing is off, but I hope that you enjoy! These are just for fun after all :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters!**

* * *

><p>Jackson pulled into the parking lot of his high school and groaned loudly as he turned his car off. Spring break had not been long enough, he wished that he was still skiing in the Swiss Alps with his mother, and back to school was really the last place he wanted to be. He was sick of the building and the people. He was sick of everything, despite being the king of campus. Thankfully, he would soon be out of this place. Just over two months stood between him and graduation. He was more than ready to move on to bigger and better things. The world lay at his feet. Stanford, Harvard, Duke, and dozens of other prestigious schools were all knocking at his door. He just had to pick one.<p>

He stepped out of his beloved black Porsche Roadster and threw his lettermen jacket over his shoulder. He hadn't even taken two steps towards the main building before he was accosted by his best friend since middle school, Alex Karev.

"Hey man," he muttered in greeting.

"Hey Avery," he responded quickly. "I heard that Mara dumped you over the break."

Jackson rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. "News travels fast I see," he stated grumpily. It was true that his long-time girlfriend, Mara Keaton, had broken up with him over the break, he just hadn't expected the whole school to know about it already. They had been together since junior year and he hadn't seen it coming at all. He wasn't overly upset; his ego was just bruised a bit. "She's seeing some guy that goes to State. Whatever."

Alex released a chuckle as they reached their lockers. "Jackson Avery got dumped. I never thought I'd see the day."

The dark-skinned young man sneered unpleasantly as he yanked open his locker door. "It doesn't even matter. I could have any girl I wanted in this school."

"You can't have Izzie Stevens," Alex smirked.

"And whose fault is that?" Jackson retorted quickly. Alex and Izzie had broken up at the end of junior year and Alex had immediately declared her off limits to all of his friends. She was easily the hottest girl in school, and had asked him to go out, and more, numerous times, but Jackson had turned her down because of his relationship with Mara and his adherence to the bro code. "I could get anybody else and it wouldn't even be a challenge," he added cockily.

Alex leaned back against his locker and crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you sure about that?" He enquired as a devilish smirk played across his face.

Jackson simply nodded as he removed his sunglasses and carefully placed them in his locker. He then hung up his jacket and slammed the door shut. "Yeah, I am."

"Wanna bet on that?"

"Bet what exactly?" Jackson replied slowly as he felt his eyes light up excitedly. A bet could certainly liven up the remainder of their senior year.

Alex considered his words carefully before he spoke. "I get to pick a girl and you have to get into her pants by graduation."

Jackson laughed, "That's too easy." Most of the girls at this school were practically on the verge of creating a fan club for him. "What do I get if I win?"

"Izzie is no longer off limits," Alex answered slowly.

Jackson licked his lips as he rested his head back against his locker. By September he would be as far away from this place as he could get, but a summer of fun with Izzie Stevens was certainly something that he could invest in. "And if I lose?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Alex grinned wildly. "I get your car."

Jackson winced and closed his eyes. "Damn. My car," he repeated. He was pretty attached to his car. It was easily his favourite possession.

But he could always buy a new car…and he didn't plan on losing this bet…

He extended his hand to Alex with a smile. "Deal."

Alex practically cackled as he grasped his friend's hand. "Awesome! Now I get to pick the chick!"

The names of the biggest losers in school flashed through his mind but none of them were the right choice. They would fall to their knees as soon as his pretty friend batted his eyelashes at them. Avery at least needed a challenge, a bitchy cheerleader, or a good girl with a jealous boyfriend, or…

He smiled triumphantly as he caught a glimpse of the perfect choice out of the corner of his eye. "April Kepner," he stated.

Jackson groaned instantly. That was the one name that he had hoped Karev would not say. He turned his head and watched the petite brunette collect a few books out of her locker. April Kepner was not unattractive, so that wasn't the problem. In fact, she had quite a tight little body; she just never bothered to show it off. And she wasn't a complete loser, more like she was never really noticed by the popular crowd. She was too busy with her extracurricular activities. She tutored, she was the photographer for the school yearbook, and she was a member of the drama club. The problem was that she was too smart to fall for his crap. She had the highest GPA and average in their class. She was Ivy League bound for sure. She would see right through him as soon as he made a pass at her.

And he was pretty sure that she was still a virgin.

She was a brain and she had a chastity belt...There was no way that he would get April Kepner to sleep with him.

Nonetheless, he decided to excitedly approach her at his very first opportunity: homeroom. He perched himself on top of the desk in front of hers and smiled brightly. "Hey April, how was your break?"

"It was fine, thanks," she answered quietly without glancing up from the book she was reading.

"Aren't you going to ask me how my break was?" Jackson enquired after a pause.

She shook her head. "Nope."

He frowned and playfully flipped her book closed. "And why not?"

She sighed as she finally made eye contact with him. Thankfully, she found it a little bit easier to look at him than most of the girls at their school. She refused to get sucked into his blue-green gaze. "Because I am just as interested in how you spent your break as you are in how I spent mine."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked with a playful smile.

"It means," she began as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "that we've known each other for four years and we've never really talked about how our holidays were or anything like that, so if you're talking to me now then it must mean that you want something." He didn't speak; instead he just continued to smile at her with his stupid, perfect white teeth. "And can you stop smiling!"

Jackson chuckled as he ran a hand over his shaved head. He had called it this morning, she was too friggin' smart. "I don't want anything," he lied. "I just figured that we're going to graduate soon and it'd be nice to get to know each other."

She rolled her eyes as she got up out of her desk. She highly doubted that Jackson Avery, rich boy, student body President, star athlete in three different sports, owner of the second highest GPA in their class, and arguably, the best looking guy in the school, wanted to get to know her when they had so little time left in the same town. "Whatever you want," she began with a knowing grin, "you're not going to get it."

He watched her walk away with a grin. "Definitely a challenge," he murmured to himself. But honestly, a challenge was more fun than an easy lay.

"Slumming it already?" A voice whispered in his ear in a posh British accent.

He turned around and narrowed his eyes at his ex-girlfriend. "Whatever, Mara," he replied dismissively. "I'm surprised you're not skipping school to hang out with your boyfriend."

"Jealous?" She teased.

"Nope, not even a little bit," he answered in a clipped tone.

He was still bitter about the circumstances of their breakup but he was honestly thankful to be done with her. He had to focus his attention on April Kepner for now, but as soon as he won his bet with Karev, he could take his pick of the girls that he was interested in.

And he would start with Izzie Stevens.

* * *

><p>Over the next two weeks, Jackson used every play in his book to try to get the cute bookworm to warm up to him. He talked to her in every class that they shared together, he tried to find a common ground by taking note of the books that she was reading, he even used cheesy lines, and so far nothing had worked. She was completely unreceptive to every word that came out of his mouth. He was still at square one and he was running out of ideas.<p>

Coincidentally, the perfect way to get close to April Kepner came to him in the worst possible scenario: a failing grade.

He had taken the creative writing course offered by Mr. Webber as an elective, thinking that it would be a cakewalk and a perfect way to keep up his GPA. Clearly he had been mistaken. He had gotten back their biggest assignment of the year to date and it had had a big, red F written across it. Being a straight A student, he had not been happy about it at all, something like this could jeopardize scholarship opportunities. However, his mood had brightened considerably when Mr. Webber suggested that he look into getting help from the brightest student in the class.

He finally had a reasonable excuse to talk to her.

So during last period P.E., he jogged up to her as she did her required laps around the track. She looked really good in gym shorts but he wasn't about to tell her that.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hey," she responded as she kept her eyes forward.

They completed one lap at a fairly fast pace and being the track team's star runner, Jackson was quite impressed. "You should join the track team," he commented.

"Competitive sports aren't really my thing."

Her response presented the perfect opening for him and he couldn't pass it up. "Is creative writing your thing?"

April stopped running and turned to face him with her hands on her hips. "What?" She questioned breathlessly.

"I'm failing the class," he confessed.

"No, you're not," she stated in disbelief. She didn't buy that for a second.

"I am," he stated earnestly. "I bombed the short story assignment and I didn't do that great on the earlier stuff either. I need your help. Please, April."

He reached for her but she took a step backwards reflexively. "Whoa, watch your hands, superstar."

He laughed as he repeated again, "Please, April. I'm begging here. Don't make me get on my knees."

He slowly started to shift down into a kneeling position but she grabbed his arms and pulled him back up before he could cause a scene. "Oh my Gosh! Don't! Just please stay standing." He smiled charmingly and she felt a rush of heat in her cheeks. "Fine!" She caved. She had never been able to turn down someone who needed help, even someone like Jackson Avery. "Meet me tomorrow, after school, in the library. Bring your assignment," she told him pointedly before she began to run again.

"You won't be disappointed!" He called after her. He waited until she was half way around the track before he fist pumped enthusiastically. He was one step closer to his goal.

* * *

><p>The next day during lunch, April sat in the corner of the cafeteria and eyed Jackson suspiciously. He was sitting with his fellow jocks and having his usual rambunctious lunch.<p>

She could not figure out what was going on in his head and it was really bothering her. What did he want? What was he up to? He had been nagging her nonstop since they had returned to school and not all of it had been about their creative writing class.

"You're going to stare a whole through his head," Lexie Grey commented as she sat down beside her.

"Maybe if I stare hard enough his head will explode," she said as she munched on a carrot stick.

"What's the deal with you two anyway?" Her best friend asked.

"Deal?" She repeated in confusion. "There is no deal. There's nothing going on between us. He's been badgering me and I finally told him that I would help him with creative writing. There is no deal," she repeated.

Lexie grinned mischievously as she looked over her shoulder. She waved at her boyfriend, the quarterback, and he quickly moved towards their table, with Jackson Avery is tow.

"Hey Kepner," Mark greeted her with a grin as he placed a kiss on Lexie's forehead. "How's it going? I figured I'd have lunch with my girl today."

"I'm good, Mark," she smiled. "How are you?" A throat cleared loudly to her right and she looked at Jackson with a tight-lipped smile. "Jackson," she acknowledged.

"Hey April," he smiled widely as he placed his tray full of food down on their table and sat in the chair next to her. "Your sweater is really nice."

She awkwardly glanced down at her green turtleneck. "Uhh…thanks," she responded. "I like your…t-shirt."

Jackson was wearing a plain black t-shirt but he appreciated the compliment nonetheless. "Thanks!"

"Wow," Mark commented after he took a bite out of his apple. "The chemistry here is through the roof," he stated sarcastically. Lexie promptly elbowed him in the side and he yelped. "Ow…I, uh…I'll shut up now."

The foursome managed to make it through a lunch of stilted conversation and once the bell for class rang, April rounded on Lexie with wide, alarmed eyes. "What was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" Lexie questioned innocently. "Mark eats lunch with us every now and then."

"Yeah, but he doesn't bring along Jackson Avery," April argued.

Lexie giggled as they approached Spanish class. "I think he likes you, April. It's written all over his face!"

"He does not like me! I have no idea what he's doing but I know that he doesn't like me. He's known me for four years," she continued to rant, "and this is the most he's ever talked to me. You just don't come back from Spring break as a whole new person."

"Or maybe," Lexie spoke in a lowered voice as they entered their classroom. "He's liked you for a while, and now that he's single again he can finally make his move."

April rolled her eyes as she took her seat. "You're a hopeless romantic, Lexie."

"And it's about time that you took a leap of faith," her friend argued.

* * *

><p>April did her best to push Lexie's comments out of her head as she walked towards the library to meet Jackson. The last thing that she needed in her life right now was feelings for Jackson Avery. She just needed to focus on getting out of this town, now more than ever.<p>

She sat at a table in plain view of the main doors and waited for the jock to arrive. Minutes later, he bounded through the door with a smile and laid his books down on the table.

"Hey," he panted, "sorry I'm a little late."

She shook her head dismissively. "It's fine. I haven't been here long. Do you have your assignment?"

He nodded eagerly as he pulled it out of a book. "Yup! Here it is!"

April read it over with a frown. She immediately understood why Mr. Webber had given him an F. There was no creativity; he hadn't given any of himself to his work. She raised her head to look at him and saw that he was staring at her intently. "What?" The way that he was looking at her made her squirm uncomfortably.

Boys didn't look at her the way that Jackson Avery was looking at her right now.

"Nothing. You're just really pretty," he told her with a smile.

She tried to roll her eyes and laugh it off but she blushed traitorously. "Okay, knock it off."

"No, it's true," he grinned. "Your skin and your eyes." He reached forward and gently pulled her glasses off of her face. "You're really pretty," he repeated in a whisper. He leaned in slowly, with every intention of kissing her, but the palm of her hand connecting with his face stopped him. "Ow," he moaned. He rubbed his cheek as he squinted at her. "What did you do that for?"

"Me?" April questioned incredulously. "What did _you_ do that for? What the hell was that?" She practically shouted at him.

"I was going to kiss you, Jesus," he groaned, "take it as a compliment."

"Sorry if I can't take some guy I barely know trying to kiss me as a compliment," she shot back. "And I'm sorry that I'm not a card carrying member of the Jackson Avery fan club." She could feel herself getting more and more flustered and she was starting to feel embarrassed. So she gathered her books and got to her feet. "I knew this was a bad idea. I'll help you in class but we shouldn't do this."

Jackson grabbed her hand before she could turn around and he looked up at her pleadingly. "April, wait, please. I'm sorry I tried to kiss you. It obviously wasn't a smart move. Forgive me?" He knew that he shouldn't try to move so fast with her but he had found something about her oddly irresistible. Maybe it was her lips.

He was trying to win her over with his eyes and he was practically sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. She wasn't sure if she had ever seen a more pathetic facial expression. "Why did you do it?" She asked curiously.

"Because you're really pretty," he smiled widely. "Guys like to kiss pretty girls," he teased.

"You're a pig."

He held both of his hands up defensively. "I'm not…really. I like you, April," he told her softly.

She slowly lowered herself down into her seat but she didn't believe his words for a second. "Let's just focus on your assignment," she sighed. "No more attempts at kissing," she warned sternly.

He grinned and his eyes sparkled mischievously. "Not until you ask me to."

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," she muttered to herself.

* * *

><p>Days passed and Jackson tried not to get too discouraged. He was getting absolutely nowhere with April and it became harder and harder to be his most charming self around her. He was pretty sure that he could actually see her disdain for him growing and he was beginning to think that he was wasting his time. He was not going to get April to like him by graduation, and he certainly was not going to get her to sleep with him.<p>

He was actually considering just giving up and handing his car keys to Karev until he walked into their auditorium and saw her on the stage. The drama club's final production of the year was _Grease _and she was playing Sandy.

He lowered himself into a seat and watched the cast practice _Summer Nights_. Everyone was good but he was totally captivated by April. She was _amazing_. She knew that she could sing but he had never actually heard her before. He had always been too cool to go to the school plays.

He now regretted the decision not to watch her at every opportunity.

All of a sudden it didn't matter that she didn't like him because he was entranced by her.

After the drama teacher, Ms. Robbins, dismissed them from practice, April approached him with an eyebrow raised in suspicion and all that he could do was smile.

"Wow," he breathed as he slowly got to his feet. "You're...amazing. Like really amazing."

"Uhh...thanks," she responded awkwardly. She felt a little uncomfortable that Jackson Avery had just watched her perform. She knew that he had never gone to a school play before...she would have noticed him in the audience. "So what are you doing here?" She asked to change the subject.

Jackson paused for a moment. He had come here to tell her that he didn't need help with his creative writing assignment any longer. He was going to convince her that he could take it from here, and he was going to give up on his bet with Karev. But now he definitely didn't want to do that. He wanted to pursue her now more than ever.

So he had to make something up.

"I'm having a party tonight at my house, and of course you're invited!" He told her enthusiastically. "Lexie will be there and everything, and me, and I'd really like it if you'd come," he rambled.

She chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "Umm...maybe." She hadn't exactly gone to a lot of high school parties over the years. She had always been too focused on school, and it wasn't exactly an accepted topic of conversation with her father.

"Please," he begged with beautiful, pleading eyes. "Nine thirty?"

"Maybe," she repeated as he ran out of the auditorium with a grin.

Her maybe turned into a definite yes when she showed up at Jackson Avery's house with Lexie at quarter to ten. She had put on a pair of blue jeans and the nicest top that she owned and had given her best friend free reign with her hair and makeup. She had to admit that she looked pretty but she didn't understand why Lexie had put so much effort into her appearance. Her friend was still convinced that Jackson had a secret crush on her but she knew that wasn't true.

She looked around Jackson's gorgeous home while Lexie ran off to find Mark. She was almost too busy nervously wringing her hands to notice Jackson in her peripheral vision.

"Hey," he called softly.

She turned and faced him with a small smile. "Hi, you have a really nice house." His house could probably fit three of her houses in it, but she knew that his mother was some hotshot businesswomen that was almost always away from home.

"Thanks," he smiled. His eyes roved over her and he tried not to stare too blatantly because he knew that it would freak her out. But she looked incredible. Her jeans hugged her curves perfectly, her top showed off amazing cleavage, he was able to see just how pretty her eyes were thanks to her contacts, and her long hair was in curls. "I'm glad you came, and you look really great."

"Thank you," she replied shyly. He looked great too, in a pair of black jeans and a blue silk shirt that highlighted his eyes, but she wasn't about to tell him that.

"Would you like something to drink?" He enquired politely.

She quickly shook her head. "No, thank you, I don't drink."

He chuckled playfully, "I wish I could say the same." He gently took her hand and started to pull her towards the staircase. "Do you want the tour?"

She blushed fiercely, she could imagine which rooms the tour included. "Maybe later?"

He nodded understandingly. "Yeah, sure. Do you want to go in the kitchen? I think some people are playing some stupid card game," he chuckled.

April looked down at their still joined hands and swallowed. "I think I'll just go and find Lexie. You can go hang out with your friends."

Jackson frowned as he reluctantly let go of her hand. "Okay, I'll be around. Come find me later."

She nodded before she left to find her friend, who was wrapped around Mark Sloan.

From across the room, Mara Keaton finished watching the exchange in confusion. "What the bloody hell is going on?"

"Talking to yourself," Alex teased as he came to stand beside her.

"I'm just confused about my ex's new obsession."

"Oh," Alex laughed into his drink. "You mean April Kepner?" Mara nodded and he laughed again. "It's just a bet." The beautiful brunette furrowed her brow in confusion so he elaborated. "He has to get her in bed by graduation or I get his car."

Mara grinned devilishly. "Ah, I see. Good to know." So that's what Jackson had been up to since their breakup. That was very interesting.

* * *

><p>As time dragged on, April grew more nervous and uncomfortable in her unfamiliar surroundings and it lead her to have her very first drink...which led to her second drink and then her third...which led her to feel very queasy. She was attempting to stumble up the stairs when two strong arms wrapped around her waist and helped her stand up straight.<p>

"Are you okay?" Jackson whispered softly. Karev, of all people, had informed him that April was intoxicated and could probably use some help. His kindness had been short lived of course, as he had promptly yelled at him that it didn't count if he nailed her while she was drunk.

"I'm fine," she giggled. "Totally fine."

He grinned to himself. She was a cute drunk, but she was definitely smashed. "I thought you didn't drink," he teased.

"Yeah, I didn't," she laughed.

He helped her up over the staircase and guided her towards the bathroom. "Are you going to be sick?"

She shook her head vehemently. "No, I just need to lie down. Things are spinning."

He walked her to his bedroom and left the lights off as she laid down on his bed. "Do you want me to get Lexie?" He asked as he closed his door.

"No," she moaned. "She's too busy shoving her tongue down her boyfriend's throat."

He laughed before he asked his next question. "Do you want me to bring you home?"

"No, definitely not," she answered as she sat up quickly. She was supposed to be staying over at Lexie's tonight. She could _not_ go home, especially in this condition. "My Dad will kill me. You can't bring me home!"

"Okay," he told her soothingly as he walked towards her. "I won't bring you home then."

He sat next to her once she scooted upwards to the top of his bed and made herself comfortable amongst his pillows. He smiled as he grabbed his throw blanket and draped it over her. He knew that he would stay here and watch her sleep just to be sure that she was okay. He didn't care that there were dozens of people downstairs at his party.

"Jackson," she mumbled to break the silence.

"Yeah, April?"

"I'm not gonna sleep with you or anything," she told him bluntly. "No matter how pretty you are."

He grinned to himself. "You think I'm pretty?"

She reached out, in a rather uncoordinated way, and tried to hit him. "Shut up."

* * *

><p>Things between Jackson and April changed significantly after his party. He had taken such good care of her, particularly in the middle of the night when she had started vomiting, that she figured that he couldn't be the terrible guy that she made him out to be. She started to let her guard down around him and started to see what everyone else saw: that Jackson Avery was a smart, gorgeous, charming guy. He made her laugh, he made her blush, and he made her feel special.<p>

So when he asked her to grab a burger after one of their creative writing sessions, she couldn't bring herself to say no, even though she knew that the invitation was not platonic. She sat in the booth in their local diner and chewed on her bottom lip as he looked at her with that annoyingly adorable grin.

She wanted him. She wanted him to kiss her...but she couldn't admit that.

"What are you thinking about?" He probed.

"Nothing," she lied.

He smirked knowingly. "You're lying." He reached across the table and played with her fingers. "You like me too. Just admit it, Kepner."

She rolled her eyes and retorted, "Stop flattering yourself."

He chuckled as he leaned back in his seat. "Just ask me out," he baited. "I know you want to and you know I'm going to say yes. _Or_," he continued playfully, "you could just ask me to kiss you and put us both out of our misery."

She shook her head and tried to act like she was annoyed. "Can I just eat my food in peace?" He reached for one of her fries and she slapped his hand away. "Hey! Just because you ate all yours already doesn't mean that you can have mine!"

He laughed and continued to sneak fries off of her plate.

They bantered until they left the diner and started to head in opposite directions.

"Do you want a ride home?" He called out.

"No, it's fine," she answered dismissively. "I'm just ten minutes down the road and your house is the other way. I'll walk."

"Come on," he started to argue. "I'll drive you home. It's no trouble. Get in my car. People would pay good money to get in my Porsche," he joked.

She shook her head stubbornly. "No, it's fine. I'll walk."

He strode towards her with his brow furrowed in frustration. "April, just get in my car."

"Jackson," she huffed. "Go home and leave me alone."

"Get in my car," he continued to argue. "I want to drive you home. I'm not going to move until you—"

She cut him off by pressing her lips to his roughly. It was the only way she could think of to shut him up. She placed both of her hands on his face and deepened the kiss before she pulled away. "Just let me walk home."

He stared at her in shock before he grinned uncontrollably. "Okay," he breathed. "I'll let you walk home and I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah," she smiled. "You will."

* * *

><p>"So," Alex began as he watched Avery tie his sneakers before track practice. "You and April have been dating for two weeks now. How's it going?"<p>

"Great," Jackson smiled to himself. He got to spend a lot of time with April at school and she had started to come over to his house after school, and he loved it. They mostly studied, or watched movies but he just loved spending time with her. It hardly even bothered him that they didn't do anything more than kiss.

"She let you touch her pussy yet?" He asked crudely.

Jackson shoved his friend as they walked out of the locker room. "Dude, do you have to talk like that?"

Alex turned to him in confusion. "You used to talk like that or have you forgotten. You had no problem talking about anything you did with Mara."

"Yeah, well," he began thoughtfully, "April's too sweet for someone to talk about her like that. She deserves some respect, ya know," he stated as he began to stretch.

"Are you falling for her?" Alex questioned in disbelief.

Jackson stilled before he shook his head. "No," he denied. "Its just that she's nice."

"Good," Alex responded quickly, "because Izzie's been asking about you."

"She has?" Jackson asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alex nodded. "Yup, talking about what a shame it is that you're taken off the market again."

Jackson wasn't sure what to make of his interest in Alex's comment. He liked April, _a lot_, but Izzie Stevens was like the holy grail of women.

He was reminded once again of how much he needed to win this bet.

He worked out some of his frustrations on the track but his selfish determination led to him being a little more aggressive than usual with his inexperience girlfriend. She came over to his house after practice and seemed rather turned on by the fact that he had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing only a pair of gym shorts. She had kissed him first but he had quickly taken advantage of her initiative.

He had laid her down on his bed and kissed her so hungrily that her knees felt like jello.

April barely had time to take a breath, his kisses were so intense. He used his tongue and his teeth in ways that she didn't even know were possible. She was so overwhelmed by pleasure that she didn't noticed where his hand had drifted at first.

Jackson ran his hand along her hip and the tips of his fingers gently dug into the exposed skin above the waistband of her jeans. Her breath hitched and she panted, "Okay, yellow light."

He shifted his body a little away from hers and tenderly brushed her hair out of her face. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"Nothing," she whispered with a smile. "Nothing's wrong. I just think we need to slow down a little. Things got heated kinda fast."

He nodded slowly. "Okay, that's fine. Do you want me to put a shirt on?"

She covered her face with one hand as she felt blush spread across her cheeks. "No," she murmured. She trailed her hands over his sculpted torso before she added, "You can keep it off."

He grinned as he softly kissed her on the lips before sitting up so that he could give her some more space. She sat up as well and he smiled as he soothingly ran his hand along her leg. "You don't have to be embarrassed about your body," he assured her.

"I'm not embarrassed," she argued.

He raised an eyebrow and eyed her suspiciously. "You don't exactly show it off. You only wear shorts in gym and you always got out of water polo so I assume you don't like wearing a swim suit either."

"I'm not embarrassed," she repeated. "It's just that I'm a little clumsy," she stated. "I'm clumsy and I bruise easily."

"That's even less reason to be embarrassed," he chuckled. He leaned forward to kiss her and as he did so, he grasped the hem of her shirt. "Just take your shirt off for a minute. We can try it and if you're not comfortable then you can put it back on," he proposed.

She nodded as she tentatively kissed him back. "Okay," she murmured. She raised her arms above her head and he slowly pulled her shirt off. She fell back onto his bed and pulled him down on top of her.

She was kissing him eagerly but he had to pull away so that he could look at her. Her skin was soft and pale, and her breasts were round and pert, encased by a simple grey bra. She was lovely. "You're beautiful, April."

"Thank you," she replied shyly.

He dropped his mouth to her stomach and lovingly kissed her flesh. He slowly moved upward and found an ugly, multicoloured bruise on her rib cage. He ran his tongue along the edge of her bra as his fingers moved over the bruise that he had been eyeing. "Does that hurt?" He whispered.

"Yeah, a little," she breathed.

"Sorry," he muttered. He moved up to her collarbone and he saw another bruise on her upper arm. An uneasy feeling came over him as he realized that these bruises didn't look very self-inflicted. He raised his head and looked down at her apprehensively.

"What is it?" She asked self-consciously. "Do you want me to put my clothes back on?"

"No," he smiled. "No, of course not. It's just that I've…I've never seen you fall down."

"W-what are you talking about?" She stuttered.

"I've never seen you fall down or anything. You're not clumsy. You're a runner," he rationalized.

She smiled and brushed his comment off. "Practice for _Grease _hasn't been too kind to me this week. I've taken a couple of nasty falls and Tyler's dropped me a couple of times."

Jackson chuckled as he playfully squeezed her waist. "I should tell him to be more careful with my girlfriend."

She giggled as she placed her hands on his shoulders. "Your girlfriend?"

"Well yeah," he grinned. "We're dating, so you're my girlfriend. Are you okay with that?"

She rolled her eyes and sarcastically replied, "I'm lying on your bed in my bra, what do you think?"

* * *

><p>Their relationship progressed steadily and April could feel herself falling for him even though they hadn't been together for that long. He was the perfect date. He was the perfect gentleman. He was the most wonderful kisser. He was working incredibly hard at creative writing, on top of his heavy course load, and he had started to stay behind, when he was able, to watch her <em>Grease <em>practices.

She had never imagined having a boyfriend like Jackson Avery, and he seemed to be just as into her. They had even started to talk about colleges. They had both gotten into Harvard and the Ivy League school was at the top of their list for different reasons, one of the newer ones being that the other had gotten in.

She liked Jackson so much that she did something that she hardly ever did with people she knew. She brought him to her house. She waited until a day that she knew that her father would be out until late and invited Jackson over to study. She was thankful that he didn't judge her small, poor home and that he didn't complain that his feet were hanging over the edge of her twin bed. He just seemed perfectly content to be with her.

Of course, his good mood could also be attributed to the fact that she was running her tongue along his abdomen.

"God," he groaned loudly. "I love studying with you."

She giggled as she planted a trail of kisses up his torso. She wanted to spend all of her time doing this, his body was so unbelievable. She couldn't believe that guys in real life actually looked like this. Then again, this was Jackson Avery, and he was no normal guy. She worked her way back up his mouth and he tangled both of his hands in her thick hair.

"We probably should go back to the books though," she murmured between kisses. "Our calculus assignment is due tomorrow."

He grinned as he placed both of his hands on her waist and flipped her onto her back. She hitched her legs up around his hips and he pressed into her with a growl. If she hadn't known what she was doing to him then she did now. "We could always switch to biology," he suggested huskily.

She giggled and pressed her face against his neck. "I figured you'd be all about the hands on approach," she flirted.

"Absolutely," he agreed quickly. He snaked his hand between their bodies and played with the top button of her jeans. "Especially if you'll let me make you feel good," he whispered suggestively.

She looked up at him nervously. "You mean…?" She enquired as she bit down on her bottom lip.

He smiled and responded, "If you want. It doesn't mean we have to have sex or anything," he clarified. He didn't want to pressure her but he was definitely ready to move on to more X rated things.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she wanted to, but her body froze in horror when she heard the front door slam. "Oh my God," she gasped. She inelegantly jumped off of her bed and pulled her sweater back on.

"What is it?" Jackson asked curiously.

"My Dad," she answered as she frantically threw his things at him. "He wasn't supposed to be home, but he is, so you need to leave!"

Jackson slowly sat up and pulled his t-shirt over his head. "I'm really good with parents," he smiled. "It's probably time that I met your Dad anyway."

"No, that's not a good idea. You need to go."

He fixed his appearance, swung his backpack over his shoulder, and took a hold of her hand. "Come on, it'll be okay," he assured her. Her Dad was all that she had. Her mother had died when she was little and she was an only child, therefore, it was important to Jackson that he meet the man.

"Jackson," she started to protest as she firmly stood her ground. "You don't know my Dad."

"It'll be fine," he repeated with a broad smile.

He dragged her out of her bedroom and down over the stairs. They walked into the living room where April's father sat in a chair watching television. He cleared his throat before he announced himself. "Sir, hi," he smiled charmingly once the man turned towards him. "I thought I should introduce myself, I'm Jackson Avery."

Joe Kepner slowly got to his feet and narrowed his eyes. "And you are?"

Jackson turned to April in confusion. She hadn't told her father about him? That didn't seem like her.

"He's just a friend, Daddy," April chimed in. "We study together."

"Well I think it's time for you to go, Jeffrey."

"Um, it's Jackson," he corrected awkwardly.

"He was just leaving anyway," April told her father with a shaky voice. She started to push him towards the door and he looked at her with a questioning expression. "I'll talk to you at school, okay?"

"What did I say? Why did you tell him that we're just friends? I don't understand," he spoke quietly.

"Just go," she pleaded.

He was reluctant to leave her because she looked so upset but he did as he was told. "Bye April," he whispered with a small smile.

* * *

><p>Jackson crept up behind his girlfriend as she grabbed her books for the morning and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. He had been confused yesterday but he knew that she would tell him what was going on when she was ready and he wasn't going to let it ruin his good mood. "Good morning, babe." April jumped and spun around with a gasp. "Sorry I scared you," he chuckled.<p>

"I-it's okay," she stuttered. She closed her locker and faced him with a small smile. "I have to talk to you."

"What about?" He grinned as he placed his palm on the locker next to her head and leaned into her.

"I can't see you anymore," she whispered.

His face fell in disappointment. "Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable? What did I do?" Maybe he had pushed her too far or had said the wrong thing without knowing it, or anything.

"It's not you," she assured him. "You're perfect," she sighed as she gently grasped the lapels of his lettermen jacket.

"Then why?" He asked in confusion. He was really into her and he certainly had not anticipated feeling this way about April Kepner. The thought of her breaking up with him made him genuinely upset.

She swallowed nervously before she worked up the courage to tell him the truth, or at least a version of the truth. "It's just that my Dad thinks that now isn't a good time for me to get involved with someone. I have to focus on school and getting ready for college, and he's right." She chewed on her bottom lip before she added, "But if you ever need help with creative writing then we can work on it at school." She ducked underneath his arm and started to walk away from him before he could argue with her. "I'll see you around Jackson."

She raced down the hallway and found sanctuary in the girls' bathroom. She locked herself in a stall and tried to muffle her sobs as best as she could. The very last thing that she wanted to do was break up with Jackson, but her father had been so furious. She had seen him on some very bad days but she had never seen him like that before. She had received her punishment for having a teenage boy in her bedroom. The thought of a boy with his daughter had sent him into a rage that she now wore on her skin, and he had threatened to hurt Jackson as well. She had been ordered to breakup with him so that's what she had done.

She wasn't sure how long she had been crying when she heard a gentle knock on the stall door. "April?" Lexie called softly.

April wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly. "I'm fine, Lex, really. You can go back to class."

"It's not like you to miss AP Chem," her friend pressed. "What's wrong?" April offered no response so she spoke again. "Jackson looks pretty glum. Did something happen?"

After a moment, April opened the stall door and stepped into the bathroom. "We broke up."

Lexie's eyes widened in surprise as she watched April wash her face in the sink. "Why?" They seemed so happy; Lexie would even venture to say that they seemed like they were in love. "What happened?"

"It's just...it's not a good time...not the right time," she explained awkwardly.

Lexie narrowed her eyes skeptically. "That doesn't make any sense. You're both on your way to Harvard next year, now is the perfect time."

"You wouldn't understand, Lexie," April snapped.

"I know," she sighed, "because we've been friends for years and there are still things that you refuse to tell me! So just tell me what's going on!"

"No," April shrieked. "It's better if you don't know! It's better if nobody knows," she murmured to herself as she turned on her heel and left the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Jackson took a deep breath as he closed the door of his Porsche and stared at April's house. He was incredibly nervous to have this conversation but he had spent the entire day pouting and brooding so he knew that it was a conversation that he needed to have. He wanted April back and this was the only way to achieve that.<p>

He walked to her front door slowly and mustered up the courage to knock.

April's father, a very large, angry looking man, answered the door and looked down at him in annoyance. "What do you want, boy?"

Jackson bravely looked him in the eye and responded, "I want to talk to you about April, sir."

Joe Kepner stepped out onto the patio instead of letting Jackson inside the house. "April's not allowed to date, end of story. You will stay away from her."

"I really care about her," he stated earnestly, "and I want to spend time with her, and you can't keep me away from her."

"I'd watch your mouth, boy," the older man warned.

"She's eighteen; she can make her own decisions. She's smart, you just have to trust her," he argued passionately.

"Well I certainly don't trust you."

"I'm not going to hurt her. I'm a good kid, I—" He was about to rattle off a list of his credentials when he heard April's voice behind him.

"Jackson! What are you doing here?"

He turned around to see her rushing towards him and she looked panicked and flustered. "I just wanted to talk to your Dad about us," he explained.

She grabbed his arm and started to pull him away from her house. "I'll be back in a second, Dad," she called. She firmly pushed him towards his car as she spoke frantically. "You can't just show up at my house like this!"

He wasn't going to let her just usher him out like last time or just walk away. He needed to know what was going on. "April, tell me the truth. Why do you always freak out whenever your Dad is around? Am I really that bad?" She remained silent and everything clicked for him. She didn't even like to talk about her father and when she did, it was always out of fear. She said that he was strict and protective but he thought that something else was going on. "How did you get those bruises again?" Her eyes widened in shock and he knew that his theory was right. "Get in my car." He opened the passenger door for her and motioned for her to get inside. "You're coming with me. I can't leave you here. I won't."

"I'm fine," she argued. "It's not what you think."

"It _is_ what I think," he growled. "And either you come with me or I'm going to kick his ass."

She stepped up to him and gently placed her hands on his chest. "It'll be worse if I leave. So just go, I'll be fine."

He shook his head and replied through gritted teeth, "No. No way. I'm not going anywhere."

"Please," she whispered tearfully. She pushed herself up onto the tips of her toes and softly kissed his lips. "Please go. I promise that I'll call you if I need you."

He sighed as he realized that he was going to have to give into her and leave her here alone. "Fine, but call me in the middle of the night if you have to, okay?"

She nodded. "I will."

He kissed her tenderly before he forced himself into his car and drove off.

* * *

><p>Jackson paced his house like a madman until two in the morning. As per usual, his mother was not home, so he was allowed to worry in peace. There was no way that he would be able to sleep or study or watch television knowing what he knew.<p>

When his doorbell rang, he felt a mixture of fear and relief. What had caused her to come to him? Something good or something bad? He threw his door open and quickly swept April into his arms. He buried his face in her hair and tightly wrapped his arms around her waist. "Thank God," he breathed. "Are you okay?"

"Well you're kind of hurting me right now," she chuckled.

He immediately placed her back on her feet and gently cradled her face. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked again. "Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

"Not really?" He repeated angrily. "What did he do?"

She placed her hands on his chest to try to calm him down. "Relax, Jackson," she cooed. "I'm okay. I'm fine, I just really needed to see you."

"Yeah?" He smiled.

She nodded as she bit down on her bottom lip. "Yeah, you make me feel really safe...really _really _safe."

His hands continued to cup her face as he kissed her. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you, April. I promise." He kissed her again before he led her up to his bedroom.

He had brought her up here to sleep, but instead they kissed and cuddled. She lay by his side with her head on his chest and her hand on his abdomen. He kept her as close as possible and ran a hand through her hair. "So, what are you going to do?" He whispered. "You're not going back into that house. I won't let you."

Despite the topic of conversation, she smiled to herself. "I'll figure something out. Mrs. Grey has always liked me, maybe I can stay there until graduation."

"Or you could stay here," he proposed tentatively. "My Mom is never here anyway," he laughed, "at least I would know for sure that you're okay."

She tilted her head and kissed him softly. "You're sweet, but living together would probably get...complicated." She blushed as she looked him over while licking her lips. "You know, close quarters and everything...sharing a bathroom..."

"Well, there's enough bathrooms in this house that you could have your own," he pointed out. He watched her watch him and after a moment, he realized what she was actually talking about. "Oh...well...we're not doing_ that_ so that's fine."

She ran her fingers along his abdomen, over the top of his shirt. "What if I want to do _that_?" She had always wanted to give her virginity to a serious boyfriend, a guy that cared about her and understood her, and now she was finally in a relationship that she deemed worthy. She was pretty sure that she was in love and his reactions today showed that he could maybe be in love too. She leaned forward and captured his mouth excitedly.

Jackson responded to her eagerly and only stopped her when she reached for his belt. "Hey, hold on a second."

"What's wrong?" She panted.

"Let me plan something special for your first time. I want to do something nice," he grinned.

She opened her mouth to argue with him but she knew by the look on his face that he was determined to have his way. "Okay," she conceded. "Next Friday. Not a minute later," she murmured through a kiss.

* * *

><p>On Friday, April found Lexie in the girls' bathroom and approached her with a giddy grin. She was skipping out on last period to be with her boyfriend but she really didn't care. "I'm going to leave for Jackson's now," she told her.<p>

Lexie squealed excitedly and grabbed both of April's hands. "Do you have your sexy underwear on?"

April blushed but nodded. "Yeah."

"Don't be nervous," Lexie spoke encouragingly. "I'm sure he'll be wonderful, and it only hurts at first." She squealed once more. "Have fun and tell me all about it whenever you get home! Wake me up if you have to!"

April giggled girlishly, "I will, and I'm gonna go but I have to pee first."

"Okay," Lexie laughed. "Bye!"

She left the bathroom and April disappeared into a stall. When she stepped out she was surprised to see Mara Keaton leaning against the sinks with an ugly sneer on her face.

"You really think Jackson cares about you, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" April asked in astonishment.

Mara ignored her question. "I actually think it's really cute and if I didn't know the truth, I might even root for your guys."

"What are you talking about?" She asked in frustration.

"You're a game to him," Mara told her with a hint of enjoyment in her expression. "You're a bet between him and Alex Karev."

"I don't believe you," April responded fiercely.

Mara shrugged. "Fine, don't believe me but it's the truth. The bet was about whether or not Jackson could get you into bed by graduation, and based on the conversation I just heard you have with Lexie Grey, he's about to succeed."

April practically ran towards the door but she could still hear Mara Keaton's voice behind her, even though she tried to tune it out.

"You know I'm telling the truth!"

April did not have the stones to confront Alex Karev, but she knew one other person that would surely know about this bet. She found Mark Sloan canoodling with Lexie against her locker and her friend mistook her appearance for her being in need of some last minute advice.

"I told you, don't be nervous!" She grinned.

"This is not about that," April responded through gritted teeth before she sternly turned towards Mark. "Did Jackson make a bet with Alex Karev about me?"

The popular quarterback appeared stunned but his guilty look down towards the floor said it all. He opened his mouth to respond but Lexie interrupted him.

"Of course not! He wouldn't do that! He really likes you, April," she continued adamantly. She turned towards her boyfriend and smiled. "Tell her, Mark. Tell her that Jackson wouldn't do that."

Mark remained silent and that was all the confirmation that she needed. Lexie looked just as disappointed and shocked as she felt and she didn't have anything to say to either one of them. She walked out of the school with determination and got into her old, rundown truck.

She drove to his house with a growing anger deep inside of her chest. She walked through his front door without knocking and was immediately accosted by her boyfriend, who looked beyond excited and happy to see her. He kissed her in greeting and she let him.

He grabbed her hand and quickly led her into the kitchen. "I was starting to get worried that you were going to stand me up," he laughed. "I bought everything, so don't worry." He pulled out a chair for her at the kitchen table before he moved towards the stove. "I bought everything for dinner and dessert, and I'm going to make it all myself. I also got protection and massage oils, and candles." He had everything planned out to the very last detail. He had never given anything so much thought in his life. But this was really important to him.

"You sure put a lot of effort into this," she muttered.

"Well of course I did," he smiled. He leaned on the kitchen table and carefully observed her face. "What's wrong? Are you nervous?"

She slowly shook her head as her gaze remained fixed on the tabletop. "No, I'm just wondering how you're planning on proving to all of your friends that we slept together."

"What?" He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why would I do that? This is private."

She raised her head and stared at him angrily. "How else are you going to win the bet with Alex Karev?"

His mouth dropped open in shock and he swallowed fearfully. "What?"

"The bet," she enunciated carefully. "I know so you don't have to lie to me anymore."

"April, I-I haven't thought about that in forever," he tried to explain. "It doesn't even matter. I really care about you and that's what matters."

She rolled her eyes and ignored his comments as she got to her feet. "The worst part is that I was vulnerable with you. I confided in you, Jackson! You know things about me that no one else does. My Dad and everything...and...I was going to give my virginity to you! I thought you were a great guy."

"I am," he argued. "I can be," he corrected. "I was always myself when I was with you. I was never putting on an act."

"I want to know what the stakes are." He just stared at her in silence and it made her even angrier. "Tell me!"

He took a deep breath before he finally confessed. "If I lose then Alex gets my car and if I win…" He closed his eyes as he said, "I get to take Izzie Stevens out."

April covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a sob from escaping. It was even worse than she had imagined, he was just using her to get to another girl. "Wow, you're a real jerk." She started to walk towards the door but he ran after her. "Don't."

"Please," he begged as he blocked her exit. "Just stay and we can talk. Let me explain myself."

She shook her head as she felt tears began to form in her eyes. She felt like her own body was betraying her because the last thing that she wanted was for him to see her cry. "No, I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk to you at all. I just want to leave and never speak to you again."

His voice wavered uncomfortably as he stepped away from the door. "April."

She took a deep breath before she turned around to face him. "You know what, you can tell your friends whatever you want. I wouldn't want you to lose your precious car."

Jackson cringed as she left his house with the slam of the door.

* * *

><p>April Kepner was a girl that was true to her word because no matter how hard he tried to talk to her, to try and explain, she ignored him. He tried to call her, he sent her text messages, he left notes in her locker, and he tried to talk to her in class but she was determined to pretend that he didn't exist.<p>

He had really screwed up and he had no idea how to make things right.

To make matters even worse, what he had done to her had spread throughout the entire school. Girls scoffed and turned their noses up at him when they passed him in the hallway and guys gave him sympathetic looks, as if to say, 'Nice try, man'. He had gone from being the big man on campus to the most hated and pitied guy in the student populace.

And nobody made him feel worse than Alex Karev.

Alex cackled triumphantly as he entered the boys' locker room to change for track practice. "Hand over those keys, Avery! Looks like it's over," he gloated.

Jackson just glared at him as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"Come on," Alex chuckled as he jabbed him in the ribs. "Don't be a sore loser!"

"Knock it off," Jackson murmured grumpily as he pushed his friend away. "I'm not in the mood."

Alex changed his line of teasing in hopes of lifting his bud's mood. "Hey man, at least you're back on the market."

Jackson snapped at his comment and slammed his locker door shut with much more force than necessary. "I don't want to be _back on the market_," he sneered. "Jesus, Karev! I really liked her and now she won't even look at me! You know when we started dating, I barely thought about that stupid bet at all! I should have called it off," he huffed, "but I didn't so now everything is ruined."

Alex just stared at him, not knowing what to do. When he and Mara had broken up, he had been pissed and annoyed, he had not been anywhere near this upset. "I'm sorry, dude," he apologized awkwardly. "I didn't know that you were serious and shit."

"Yeah, I know you didn't," Jackson responded in annoyance. He grabbed his bag before he stormed out of the locker room. "Tell Coach I went home or whatever, it doesn't matter."

Alex instantly felt ashamed of himself. He hadn't intended for anything like this to happen.,

* * *

><p>The final days of their senior year passed by quickly. Prom happened, which neither April nor Jackson bothered to attend, and they wrote their final exams. They skipped out on Senior Ditch Day and collected a copy of their yearbook. The only thing left to the year was graduation and the drama club's final production.<p>

On the opening night of _Grease_, Jackson waited backstage with hope and a bouquet of roses. This was the last idea that he had to show her that he cared about her. He tapped his foot against the floor anxiously as he listened to the cast take their curtain call.

April ran into her modest dressing space and didn't notice her visitor until she had already closed the door. The smile instantly fell off of her face and her body tensed. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to give you these," he smiled as he extended the flowers towards her. "You were amazing, but you already know that I think you're amazing."

"Thanks," she forced herself to reply. "You can give the flowers to Ms. Robbins if you want, she always appreciates them."

He frowned as he looked down at his shoes. "I got them for you. I remember you told me once that you really love pink roses."

"What are you doing here?" She asked again in exasperation. "I really don't want to hear another half-assed apology."

He nodded in understanding and sighed, "I know that I really screwed up but you have to know that after all that stuff with your Dad and us talking about being together for the first time and even way before that, that bet wasn't even on my mind. I was never going to follow through with it once I really got to know you. It was stupid and disrespectful." She crossed her arms over her chest and didn't seem convinced so he switched gears. He nodded towards the small stack of paper that he had laid on her chair. "I got my short story back. Webber gave me an A," he smiled.

"That's great," she replied unenthusiastically.

"I'd really like you to read it," he continued. "It's about this stupid boy who really hurts the girl he cares about."

She turned around to open the door and motioned for him to leave. "Yeah, I think I saw the movie," she quipped sarcastically.

He dejectedly walked towards the door but he didn't leave. "I fell in love with you, April," he confessed as he looked down at her. "And I know that that's probably not enough, not after what I did, but we're both going to Harvard next year and I want you to give me a second chance. I can be a good guy," he implored. "You make we wanna be a better guy. I want to be good enough to actually deserve you."

She didn't say anything and after a long moment, he stepped over the threshold with once last sigh.

"Wait!" She called while he was still within earshot.

He spun around so quickly that he almost fell down. "Yeah?"

"Before Harvard," she nervously began as she leaned on the door frame, "can we see how the summer goes?"

He grinned uncontrollably. "Yeah, we definitely can," he replied nonchalantly.

She bit down on her lip to hide her own smile. Maybe she was making another huge mistake but she would just have to wait a see. She was taking another leap of faith on him but she had a feeling that this one would produce more positive results. "Jackson," she called softly, "get over here and kiss me."

"I knew you'd say that to me one day," he answered before he lifted her into his arms and kissed her softly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Fluffy little ending but whatever lol. Please leave a review! :)**


	4. Every Fire Needs A Spark

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews for these one shots! I'm glad that you're enjoying them! This one is full of sexy Grey's men being sexy firefighters! Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Also, I don't know much about firefighting so forgive any errors!**

* * *

><p>Jackson sat in a chair across from his best friend and bounced his right leg up and down nervously. He glanced upwards and looked around the firehouse that had been his workplace for the past fifteen years. He had joined Ladder Company 4 of Fire Station 2 as a rookie straight out of the academy, as a young man of nineteen years of age. He had been a boy going on an adventure. He had taken a huge chance in moving from his hometown of Boston, across the country, to Seattle. He had always been a bit of a risk taker though, it's what had led him to become a firefighter in the first place. It was his calling, and this station was his home, and the men he worked with were his family.<p>

...And yet he had just announced that he was leaving and going back to Boston, which was probably why Matthew refused to make eye contact with him. They had been best friends since Jackson's first day at the station and now he was leaving, and somewhat spontaneously at that. He had thoroughly discussed his decision with Captain Sloan but he hadn't mentioned it to Matthew until today, and it was clear that his best friend was frustrated, angry, and more stoic than usual.

Jackson tilted his head towards the pool table and asked, "Wanna have a game?"

Matthew shook his head and turned his Saint Florian pin between his fingers. He had been obsessive about fiddling with the medallion that represented the patron saint of firefighters early in his career; it had been given to him by his father, who had also been a firefighter, on his first day with the company. The pin had been a little scarcer in recent years but he still brought it out when he was worried about something or had a bad feeling about the day.

The dark-skinned man ran a hand over his smooth-shaven head as he let out a sigh. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was just past five. "Shepherd should have something whipped up for dinner soon. I hope one of my last meals here is a good one," he tried to joke. Matthew remained silent so he tried again. "You haven't laughed at any of my jokes all day. Come on, help a brother out," he chuckled.

Karev, who was standing nearby, spoke in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Where's your loyalty, Taylor?" He jested.

Matthew hopped to his feet and snorted, "Avery doesn't know the first thing about loyalty."

Jackson watched the other man leave the room, and after a moment, decided to follow him. He found him downstairs tidying up one of the trucks. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "You're pissed that I'm leaving," he stated.

"I'm pissed that I was the last guy in the company to know about it," he shot back. "Jesus Christ, even the rookie Ross knew about it!"

Jackson winced at the swear words coming out of Matthew's mouth. In the fifteen years that he and Matthew had known each other, he had probably only heard the guy swear a handful of times. It meant that he was really fucking angry. "I didn't know how to tell you," he explained weakly.

Matthew turned towards him, no longer bothering to pretend that the hoses weren't coiled properly, and threw his hands up in defeat. "How about 'Oh hey Matt, by the way, I'm leaving the company and moving back to Boston. It's been nice knowing ya!'."

Jackson inwardly groaned, he had never heard him sound so sarcastic either.

"So you didn't tell me, did you at least tell April? My kids?" He asked furiously.

Jackson shook his head shamefully. "No, I haven't gotten around to it yet," he mumbled.

"They're gonna be upset too, ya know," he snapped. "We're the only family in Seattle that you have! Or have you forgotten that?"

"No, I know that," Jackson answered in a quiet voice. He didn't have a wife and kids like Matthew, or a girlfriend, or anybody outside of the company that he was particularly close to. His parents still lived in Boston. He had not forgotten who his family was.

Jackson's quiet response seemed to settle Matthew down because when he spoke again, his voice was almost a whisper. "We've been doing this together for a long time. I dunno if I'll be comfortable in a building knowing that you don't have my back."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fifteen years earlier...<strong>_

Jackson stood at the kitchen sink in his new uniform and slowly worked his way through a large pile of dirty dishes. He had expected that, as a rookie, he was going to have to prove himself, but he hadn't expected so much housework. He had been in Seattle a week and so far all that he had done was clean. He hadn't even experienced his first fire yet. He was starting to think that he was a jinx.

Thankfully, there was another rookie that was going through the same thing as him.

"Hey man," Matthew Taylor greeted him as he stood beside him and started to dry the dishes that Jackson had placed in the rack.

"Hey, you think we'll get a call today?" Jackson asked eagerly.

Matthew shrugged but couldn't hide the grin on his face. "We'll see."

Matthew Taylor was getting the same treatment as him in terms of the initiation process; however, some of the older guys treated him with a little more respect. Matthew's father had once been the Captain of this very station, and being Captain Taylor's kid meant something to them. They figured that the tall, lanky boy must have it in him to be a great firefighter if his father had once commanded the busiest station in the city. So Jackson had a bit more work ahead of him to earn his place. But he was ready for it, he had finished at the top of his class after all.

They were down to the very last dish in the pile when the alarm sounded. Matthew and Jackson looked at each other with wide eyes before they dropped what was in their hands and ran towards the nearest pole.

They frantically pulled on their gear and jumped into the truck. Jackson could actually feel the blood pumping through his veins as the truck pulled out of the station and sped down the street. He had never experienced an adrenaline rush like this before and he could tell by the look on Matthew Taylor's face that he hadn't either.

It turned out that their first fire was in an abandoned warehouse and it was fairly small and contained. But those details didn't matter to Jackson or Matthew. They would never forget the heat from the fire, ten times hotter than any simulated fire, or the smell, or the sound of the rushing water from the hoses. It was an experience that would stay with them for the rest of their lives.

"I think the rookies handled themselves pretty well," Mark Sloan chirped once they had arrived back at the firehouse.

Jackson smiled to himself as he neatly put away his gear. "Yeah, I think so."

Derek Shepherd breezed past him and gently smacked the back of his head. "Don't get too cocky, Avery. It was just your first."

"The first one always hurts a little," Sloan stated mischievously as he watched Matthew stretch his arms over his head. "Are you a little sore from getting your cherry popped, Taylor?"

"No, sir," Matthew answered as a faint blush spread over his cheeks.

Shepherd laughed as he clapped Matthew on the shoulder. "Come on you two, let's go get a drink, it's tradition."

"Should we shower and change first?" Matthew questioned.

Sloan shook his head with a wide grin. "We're going to a firemen's bar, Taylor. Go as you are. Most women like the 'I just walked out of a burning building' look anyway."

Matthew laughed nervously before he followed the two older men. "Are we in now?" He asked his fellow rookie.

Jackson laughed, "We may need to get a few more fires under our belt first."

* * *

><p>"You're going to be fine," Jackson assured him. "You're a great firefighter and there are great guys in this company."<p>

"None of them are as good as you," Matthew responded quickly.

Jackson opened his mouth to respond but Matthew's cell phone interrupted them. He pulled the device out of his pocket and a smile graced his face when he read the caller ID. He answered the call the same way that he always did. "Hey baby."

Jackson felt uncomfortable intentionally eavesdropping on the call from Matthew's wife so he turned around and began to pace. He had no idea what it was like to have someone call you everyday at work just because they missed you, just because they wanted to check in.

"I'll see you when I get home tonight, okay?"

Jackson had no idea what it was like to go home to somebody after a long day at work.

"I love you too," Matthew finished with a smile. "Bye. I'll wake you up when I get home."

Jackson was envious of what Matthew had...for a variety of reasons. He turned back around and laughed at his friend who couldn't stop smiling. Matthew and April had been married for twelve years and yet the guy still looked like a lovesick fool after talking to her. "I should have gotten April to call you when you were yelling at me," he joked.

Matthew laughed as well. "Yeah, maybe you should have."

Jackson opened his mouth to apologize for keeping his impending move from his friend when the alarm began to sound. "I guess I'll have to buy you a drink later," he called as he ran to his gear.

"Yeah, you will!" Matthew yelled back. "Probably more than one!"

They hopped into the truck, like they had thousands of times before, and listened to the familiar sounds of the sirens. The radio was telling them that their call was a six storey apartment building fire on Aurora Avenue. They arrived on site and immediately entered the building to clear it. Sloan, Shepherd, and Karev followed the hoses up to the third floor, where the fire had originated, while Jackson and Matthew started from the bottom up.

It appeared as if everyone on the first few floors had gotten out of the building and they had not received any reports to the contrary.

Matthew stopped for a moment and spoke into his radio. "It's all clear down here."

Shepherd's voice answered in response. "We need a ladder on the east side of the fifth floor."

"On it," Matthew answered quickly. He spun around to face Jackson and said, "Come on, let's get outside."

Jackson watched as the floor beneath them shifted dangerously as Matthew sprinted to the nearest exit. "Matt, wait up!" He yelled. "Don't—"

He abruptly stopped talking as the floor opened up in front of him and his friend fell through. It all happened so fast and yet it felt like Jackson was watching it in slow motion. He dropped onto his stomach and peeked over the edge. He could just make out Matthew in a haze of smoke and dirt. He had fallen from where they were on the second floor, all the way down to the basement. It seemed as if the first floor of the building had caved in as well.

"Matt!" He yelled desperately.

He heard a faint reply minutes later. "Yeah?"

"Thank God," Jackson whispered to himself. "Don't move, man. I'm coming down!"

Jackson considered finding the nearest stairwell and racing down, but it still seemed like it would waste too much time. He had no idea how badly his best friend was hurt and he needed to get down there now. He swore to himself before he stood up and jumped down the hole. He was able to control his landing a little more than Matthew but he still felt incredible pain shoot through his body and he heard a disgusting snapping sound come from his leg. He fell down onto his hands and knees approximately five feet away from his friend.

"What the hell did you just do?" Matthew asked in disbelief as he remained lying on his back. He had lost his helmet in the fall and his head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. He could still feel his feet but he knew that it was best to move as little as possible.

Jackson forced a laugh. "Oh, you know, just saving your life again." He crawled towards the other man before he sat up and reached for his radio. "It's Avery," he started with a pant. "Matt had a bad fall and I went down after him. We're in the basement. There's no fire down here but there's debris everywhere. I don't see a way out."

Jackson realized that he had really skimped over the details of the situation, but the details were not important right now. What was important was that they needed help.

"Hang in there, Avery," Captain Sloan answered. "We're coming down."

"They're coming," Jackson told him with a sigh of relief.

"That's good," Matthew murmured. It was good that they were coming for Jackson because he didn't see himself getting out of here. He didn't have his wife's medical knowledge but he knew enough, and he knew that his injuries were really serious.

Jackson tried his best to subtly size up his friend's injuries as he looked over his long form. He definitely had two broken legs, by the ragged sounds of his breathing he may be suffering from a collapsed lung as well, and his forehead was bleeding. He was pretty banged up and Jackson knew that if there was an available exit, he would carry him out himself.

"Can we talk?" Matthew asked quietly after a long silence.

"Hey man, just relax," he encouraged. "Try not to talk too much."

Matthew ignored him. He needed to talk now. "I know what's going on," he coughed. "I know why you're moving back to Boston."

Jackson furrowed his brow in confusion. "I got a great job offer. That's why I'm moving."

Matthew laughed until it turned into a cough. "No, you're moving because you're in love with my wife." He had been angry at Jackson earlier because his friend hadn't told him about his move, but he had also been incredibly angry because he hadn't told him the truth behind his move.

Jackson's eyes widened in shock. He thought that he had done a pretty good job of hiding his feelings for April, and he had always seen his friend as rather oblivious. He thought that Matthew had no idea what was going on. He swallowed harshly as he looked his friend over again. His injuries were bad and he didn't deserve to be lied to, not in this situation. "Yeah," he confessed. "I am. I really tried not to be," he explained fiercely. "I didn't want to. I—"

"It's okay," Matthew smiled. "I get it. She's pretty easy to fall in love with. I tried to tell myself that I was seeing things and making stuff up, but I couldn't keep lying to myself about the way you looked at her."

Jackson shifted closer towards him, ignoring the pain shooting through his right leg, and gently touched Matthew's head, trying to staunch the bleeding. "Save your energy, man, and when we get out of here, you can kick my ass for having a thing for your wife."

Matthew gave him a sad smile. "Come on, Avery, we both know I'm not making it out of here. So you might as well let me forgive you for being an ass." If he was going to die in this hole then he wasn't going to do so bitter and angry.

Jackson stubbornly shook his head. "No, no way. I'm gonna get you outta here."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Twelve years earlier...<strong>_

Matthew nervously slammed back another shot of tequila and Jackson looked at him in concern. "Slow down a little, man. You don't want to be blitzed before she even gets here."

"Sorry," he muttered. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his jeans. "I don't exactly date a lot so I'm really nervous. What's she like?"

Jackson shrugged after taking a sip from his beer. "I'm sure she's great."

"What? You haven't met her?" Matthew started to panic. "What do you know about her?"

"Settle down," the dark-skinned man encouraged. "She's Lexie's friend, they're in nursing school together, so I'm sure she's awesome."

Matthew's eyes widened as he hopped off of his stool. "You've only known Lexie for a week!" Lexie was Jackson's current woman of the moment so he didn't exactly know much about her. His friend was a playboy and he envied his ability to talk to women so easily. But he didn't actually envy his string of girlfriends, he craved a long-term, intimate relationship.

Jackson stared at his friend in disbelief before he turned towards the bartender. "Actually, why don't you give him a couple more shots of tequila."

He had thought that setting Matthew up with a girl would get him to relax a little, but apparently it had the opposite effect. He had never seen his friend so on edge. He could tackle a multiple-alarm fire like it was routine but he couldn't spend a night at a bar with a girl? He really didn't understand the guy sometimes.

Fifteen minutes later, Matthew had grow even more intoxicated and exponentially more nervous. Jackson breathed a sigh of relief when he finally spotted Lexie walking through the door. He approached her quickly and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Hey, how's it going?"

"Great," she smiled. "Sorry we're late. April's just a little nervous," she added quietly.

"Good," he laughed, "so is Matthew." He looked over Lexie's shoulder and watched a cute red-head stumble through the door. "I'm assuming that's her?"

Lexie smiled widely. "Yeah, that's her." She grabbed the red-head's hand and pulled her to her side. "April, this is Jackson."

She smiled, showing off a single dimple, and extended her hand. "It's really nice to meet you."

"You too," he responded before tilting his head backwards. "My friend Matt is at the bar. Follow me."

He walked back towards the bar and saw that already Matthew was unable to take his eyes off of April. He was already infatuated.

Jackson sat at the bar with Lexie and watched with pride as Matthew and April got cozy in the corner. They were engaged in a conversation that Jackson could hear from his position.

"So, do you actually put out the fire or...?" The red-head asked tentatively.

Matthew shook his head. "No, Jackson and I are ladder company so we set up the ladders, sometimes we have to cut open the roof. We go into the buildings for search and rescue and the engine company actually extinguishes the fire."

"Oh, that's so cool," she smiled. "You save people's lives. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Matthew grinned. "Do you love w-what you do?"

Jackson turned to Lexie with a smug grin. "They're totally hitting it off!"

* * *

><p>"I think I fell in love with her from the very moment I saw her," Matthew reminisced with a smile. "She was just so <em>so <em>beautiful. A girl that pretty had never given me the time of day before."

Jackson smiled as he leaned back against the nearest wall and listened to his friend. "And she didn't even care that much that you were drunk."

"No, she didn't," he chuckled. "I think she thought my stuttering and uncoordinated stumbles were endearing."

Jackson remembered the early days of their romance very clearly. He had been having the best sex of his life with Lexie Grey and he had been happy that his best had finally found someone that he really liked, and that he had introduced them. They had been inseparable, and it had been clear very early on that they were perfect for each other. They had only dated for three months before Matthew popped the question in a grand, public proposal, and of course April had said yes. Jackson remembered their wedding and how perfect it had been. It had been small and intimate, the ceremony on the beach and the reception in a small hall. He had been the best man and he had delivered a hilarious speech, drank lots of champagne, and danced his ass off. He and Lexie had fooled around in the coat closet that night. He remembered when Matthew had returned to the station after his honeymoon, and had told him and the guys, after much badgering that they hadn't left their hotel room until the very last day because they at least needed a few pictures to show their parents. Apparently, waiting until you were married to have sex was totally worth it.

Jackson also remembered all the times that he had teased April for not being able to chug a beer or throw a dart. She had always been able to get him back, especially during the time of the year when the station's charity calendar was sold. She had gotten in a few good jabs about him being the department's favourite poster boy. He could also remember when he had accidentally discovered that she was pregnant with their first child. She had begged him not to tell Matthew and he had kept his word. His friend had come into work the next day beaming, and had happily announced to everyone that he was going to be a father.

He had hundreds of memories of April Taylor and what stood out to him the most was the memory of feeling not even the tiniest bit jealous of her relationship with Matthew. He hadn't given April a second thought back then, he had been focused on being overwhelmingly happy for his friend. Why couldn't it be that way now?

Something significant had changed.

"I crossed a line," he murmured quietly.

"Yeah, you did," Matthew admitted. "But it was my fault too." His best friend had quite a reputation with women and yet he had encouraged him, pushed him even, to spend time alone with his wife. It wasn't exactly the smartest move.

And April was so perfectly lovable. He should have seen it coming.

"Just tell me how it happened," he requested quietly. "Please."

Jackson furrowed his brow. "Are you sure you wanna hear this?"

Matthew nodded before coughing again. "Yeah, tell me."

"I came over for dinner one night," he began reluctantly.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Six months earlier...<strong>_

Jackson stepped into the Taylor household with a boisterous greeting and was immediately bombarded by two little people.

"Uncle Jackson!" They cried in unison.

"Hey munchkins!" He laughed as he bent down to lift both little girls into his arms. "Ooh! You guys are getting heavy!" He sometimes forgot that Ivy and Kate weren't babies anymore, they were eight and six respectively, and they were very bright and very aware of the world around them.

And they both looked so much like April that it killed him.

"No, we're not," Ivy argued indignantly. "My doctor said I wasn't big enough at my last checkup!"

He laughed as he carried them towards the kitchen. "You're right, I'm sorry," he apologized.

He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and gazed at April as she attended to the stove. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and she was wearing black leggings and an oversized t-shirt, probably one of Matthew's. It was clear that she hadn't put any effort into her appearance for him and she still took his breath away.

He had attended regular dinners at the Taylor household ever since Matthew and April had gotten married. Usually they had him over two to three times a week and he would often bring whoever he was seeing, but for the past few months he had been coming to dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays alone, and after the kids went to bed, it would just be him and April, and they would sit and talk for hours.

For the first time in their careers, Matthew and Jackson were not on the same shift; new Captain Sloan wanted to created some camaraderie with some of the newer guys so he had split up his experience. At first he had hated it, but he had slowly begun to cherish his time without his best friend. He had started to forget that this wasn't his house...that these weren't his kids...that April wasn't his wife.

He was forced to stop staring when Kate called out. "Mommy! Look who's here!"

April turned around and faced him with a smile. She walked up to him and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Hey Jackson, I just made spaghetti and a salad. I hope that's okay."

"Sounds great," he grinned.

"I love spaghetti," Kate chimed in.

April smiled brightly at her little girl. "I know you do!"

The red-head's smile quickly fell when they heard the unmistakable sound of a crying baby. "Do you want me to go get him?" Jackson asked caringly.

She shook her head. "No, that's okay. Can you watch the stove though?"

"Sure," he nodded with a smile.

He took a step further into the kitchen as he watched April rush to attend to their toddler, Jack. He placed both of the little ladies in his arms back on their feet and guided them to sit down at the kitchen table. He checked the pot of cooking noodles before he gave the spaghetti sauce a stir. He had become way too comfortable with this domestic, family life that wasn't even his. He was used to playing with the girls, and holding Jack when he cried, and helping April cook. He liked this life.

The one that he had always told himself didn't fit him. He was a bachelor. He liked to date, he liked to drink, and he liked to run into burning buildings. Those things didn't fit with a family.

Jackson had a feeling that he had taken to this life because of the woman in it. Over the past few months, he had started to look at April in a way that he never had before. He had always seen her as this intelligent, sweet, adorable woman. He had always thought of her as a little quirky, a little too over the top for his taste, but perfect for Matthew. But lately...

Lately he had gotten to know her in a way that he hadn't before. She talked to him about all of the stress associated with raising three children, about how she wanted to go back to school and get her Masters, about how she worried when he and Matthew were at work, and about how she savoured the simplest moments of silence. He had started to see how delicately sexy she was. The way that she would often run a hand through her auburn hair or bite down on her bottom lip. He had started to notice the exquisite curves of her body that had been shaped by three children and just how soft her skin looked.

He was trying to fight these terrible, awful feelings that he had but they were pretty overwhelming. He had never felt this way about a woman before.

After dinner and putting the kids to bed, Jackson and April sat at the kitchen table and as was customary, he was drinking a beer and she had a glass of wine in front of her.

"So," she began with a mischievous grin, "you haven't brought a girl over in a really long time."

He laughed as he leaned back in his chair. "No, I haven't."

"Why not?" She pressed.

He shrugged as he stared at the label on his beer bottle. "Uhh, I dunno. Maybe I've finally dated all of the single women in Seattle," he joked.

"That's not true," she replied. "Obviously some woman out there is missing the opportunity of a lifetime." She got out of her chair and headed towards the sink. "I'm just going to put these dishes in the dishwasher. Do you want another beer?"

He jumped to his feet and rushed to her side. "Here, let me help."

She fought him off by gently pushing on his chest. "No, go get another beer and sit down."

"I wanna help," he protested.

"Go away," she laughed as she pulled the door to the dishwasher down and tried to bump him away with her hip. "You're my guest."

He laughed as he wrapped one arm around her small waist and lifted her off of the ground. "Come on, I'm way too comfortable in this house to be a guest."

"Jackson, put me down," she demanded through giggles.

He began to place dishes in the machine as he continued to hold her away from him. "What? Sorry, I can't hear what you're saying. I'm too busy loading the dishwasher."

She started to kick her legs in an effort to get him to drop her but it didn't work, he was too strong. "Jackson, put me down," she repeated. "This is ridiculous. You're acting like I weigh five pounds."

"You kinda do," he chuckled.

She sighed in exasperation and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Jackson," she warned. "Don't make me tickle you."

"Doesn't matter," he shrugged as he continued his chore. "I'm not ticklish."

She grinned devilishly because she knew that statement was a lie. She reached out and brushed her hands along his sides. He flinched and let out a laugh so she did it again. He reacted by finally placing her back on the ground and pinning her against the kitchen counter. She laughed triumphantly until she realized just how close he was to her, practically every inch of the front of his body was pressing against hers, and the smell of his cologne was overpowering and intoxicating. When she raised her eyes to meet his she saw that he was looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.

"Jackson." She tried to laugh his proximity, and the slight flutter that it caused in her stomach, off. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," he breathed before he brought his mouth down to hers.

He kissed her harder, and with more desire, than she had ever been kissed in her life. He placed both of his large hands on her hips and smoothly slipped his tongue into her mouth. She groaned and gripped the front of his t-shirt as he raised one hand to cradle her face. He made her incapable of thought for a long moment.

Finally, she snapped back to reality and pulled away from him with a gasp. She quickly created enough space between them so that she could flee to the other side of the kitchen. "Jackson," she breathed in shock. "What did you do that for?" She gently touched her fingers to her lips as she mulled over what had just happened between them.

What _had_ just happened between them?

The man across from her at least had the decency to look sheepish. "I wish I could blame it on the beer," he muttered. "But I can't."

They just stood looking at each other for what felt like forever before she spoke again. "Maybe you should leave now," she whispered.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked sadly.

"No," she answered honestly. "But I still think you should."

He nodded understandingly. "Okay, yeah, I'll go."

The following night, while Matthew was home with the kids, April showed up at the firehouse to speak to Jackson. The guilt and the shame of what they had done in her kitchen was eating away at her and she needed some answers.

"What's up?" He asked with a casual smile as he led her to the main locker room.

She arched an eyebrow and tilted her head in annoyance. He knew exactly why she was here.

He sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Are you serious?" She spat. "We've known each other for twelve years and you have nothing to say to me after last night!" She stepped towards him and angrily pushed on his chest with both hands. "I expected better from you, Jackson. I didn't think you were such a coward."

"What do you want me to say?" He asked through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to tell you that I can't stop thinking about you? Do you want me to tell you that I haven't slept with a woman in over two months because for some ridiculous reason it feels like I'm cheating on you? Do you want me to say that sometimes, when I'm in your house and Matthew's not there, I pretend that that's our life together? Is that what you want me to say?" He asked loudly.

He supposed that he had kept his feelings bottled up for so long that they were finally exploding.

She stared at him in shock before finally whispering, "No." She had convinced herself that he had kissed her for some idiotic, misogynistic, male ego driven, lust induced reason. She had not, under any circumstances, expected him to say any of that. He was in love with her...

He inwardly chastised himself before he turned around and kicked a nearby garbage can across the room. He couldn't believe that he had said all of those things. He was such an idiot. Now he couldn't hide his secret any longer.

April let him vent his frustration physically for a few moments before she carefully approached him and placed both of her hands on his back. "Stop it," she whispered. "Just take a deep breath," she cooed.

Jackson did as he was told and inhaled deeply. He tried to tell himself that her arms around him didn't help, but they did. "Sorry," he apologized after a few minutes. "I'm sorry for putting the moves on you last night and I'm sorry for saying all those things just now."

She spun him around so that they faced each other and gently took his hands in hers. "Don't apologize if that's really how you feel." His eyes filled with hope and she felt bad knowing that she was going to have to break his heart. "But I love Matthew."

Jackson smiled sadly. He knew that. He knew that she would never pick him, and honestly, he didn't want her to. "Yeah, me too."

* * *

><p>"She's really freaking in love with you, man," Jackson told him. "So you gotta stay with me."<p>

Matthew nodded slowly as he allowed his eyes to slide closed. "Yeah," he gasped, "I just need to rest for a minute."

"No, you don't," Jackson insisted as he slapped his cheek as gently as he could. "The guys will be here any minute." He was starting to see that things really weren't looking good for Matthew and he needed to get him to a hospital as soon as possible. He grabbed his radio and practically yelled in it. "Sloan! Where are you guys?"

"We can't get in from the basement," his Captain answered. "There's no access, and the first floor is caving in. We're gonna try to haul you guys up from where you fell. How are you doing for air?"

"Matt's tank is busted but I still have some," he replied.

"Okay, hang in there!"

Jackson placed his mask over Matthew's face to give him some much needed oxygen but he quickly pushed it away. "I don't want that," he protested stubbornly. "I wanna talk about the party we had last month. You almost told me then, didn't you? The night Karev brought you home?"

Jackson met his gaze guiltily. He knew exactly what night he was referring to. Jackson had received an award from the city for outstanding service or something or other, he couldn't really remember. The medal was in his sock drawer at home. He had saved a little girl's life and someone had thought that it was necessary to give him an award just for doing his job. He hadn't been crazy about it but the guys had thrown him a party at the bar anyway. Everyone had been there, all the guys from the station and their significant others.

It was supposed to be a proud, happy occasion, but all that it had done was make Jackson realize just how alone he was.

* * *

><p><em><strong>One month earlier...<strong>_

Jackson slung his arm around the red-head's waist and pulled her into the darkest corner of the bar, near the restrooms.

"What are you doing?" She asked sternly as he pressed her against the wall.

"I-I...uh...I dunno," he admitted.

He didn't have one sweet clue what he was doing. She was Matthew's wife and Matthew was his best friend. They were like brothers. He had introduced him to April. He had been the best man at their wedding. He was the godfather of their eldest daughter. He was the swinging bachelor that they had over for dinner two nights a week and who April was constantly trying to find a girlfriend for. But he was already in love...in was in love with his best friend's wife.

"We had an agreement. We said that wouldn't happen again," she reminded him.

He nodded as he clutched the neck of the beer bottle in his hand. "Yeah, I know we did, but I just need one more kiss or something. I need—"

She interrupted him in an annoyed tone. "You're drunk."

"Yeah," he admitted without a fight. "I'm drunk and I want you." He raised his free hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Did you like the way I kissed you?"

"I'm not answering that," she replied quickly.

"Did you like the way I grabbed you?" He rumbled dangerously.

"That's not the point," she spat.

He grinned mischievously. "Then what's the point?"

"The point is that I'm _married_ to your _best friend _so it doesn't matter how I feel about you!" She had tried to block Jackson Avery out of her thoughts, but it was futile. He was a permanent fixture in her life, almost everything that she had was attached to him in some way, and now she had the memory of him kissing her. And how good it had felt. And how it had made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And how it had made her feel like she was in her 20s again.

But she was married to Matthew, and she loved him, and that's what mattered. She had loved him _first_.

Jackson's expression softened and his voice lowered. "How do you feel about me?"

She sighed heavily. "Don't make me say it. You know I care about you."

"Yeah, but how much? In what way do you care about me?" He asked desperately.

"Jackson, don't," she pleaded.

She placed her hands on his chest, and he savoured the brief touch, before he allowed her to push him away. He sighed and watched her walk away, back to where Matthew was sitting. He finished his beer and gritted his teeth before turning around and coming face to face with Alex Karev.

"Dude," his friend breathed in shock.

"It's not what you think," Jackson tried to correct him.

"So you're not into April Taylor?" Alex asked quickly.

Jackson groaned and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Is it that obvious?"

"Dude," he repeated. "Another guy's wife? Another firefighter's wife?"

"I know," Jackson groaned again. "I'm a piece of shit."

"Probably because you're drunk," Alex offered in an effort to be supportive.

He sighed with a shake of his head. "I wish. I love her when I'm sober too." His eyes zeroed in on the happy couple and he felt a wave of possessiveness that was completely unwarranted wash over him. He wanted her and he couldn't watch him kiss her any longer. "I'm going to tell him."

Alex's eyes widened. "Tell who what?" He asked carefully.

"Tell Matt that I love her," he answered as if it wasn't the stupidest idea he's ever had.

Alex quickly grabbed his friend and used his strong grip to hold him back. "You really don't want to do that, man. Not tonight, probably not ever. I'm taking you home."

"Karev, get off of me," he muttered angrily.

"Can't do that, sorry," he replied as he continued to drag him towards the door. "Pretty boy's had one too many," he called out to the rest of the bar with a grin. "I'm going to take him home!"

There was a round of cheers and applause that Jackson barely registered as he was forcibly removed from the establishment.

* * *

><p>"The next day I decided I needed to move on," he confessed. "I knew I had to leave."<p>

Matthew weakly nodded in understanding. "I get it. I don't know how I'd react if the circumstances were different but right now, I get it."

"I'm sorry," Jackson apologized again, this time with a thick voice. He couldn't hear Sloan and the guys and he knew that Matthew was barely hanging on. He wasn't going to make it.

"You need to promise me a few things," Matthew demanded. "Take care of my little girls. Make sure they don't date guys like you when they're older," he joked.

Jackson laughed at the good-natured jab. "Okay, I won't."

"And teach Jack how to play basketball. I know you're a big football fan but basketball's way better."

Jackson laughed again. "Whatever you say, man."

Matthew swallowed harshly before he thought of his wife. "And tell April..."

"I'll tell her that you love her," Jackson supplied.

"No," he smiled widely. "She already knows that. I want you to tell her that I'm sorry and that I want her to be happy. I don't want her to be a widow forever. I _need _her to be happy."

Jackson nodded repeatedly as he felt tears sting the back of his eyes. "Okay, I will," he whispered.

"You'll take care of her?" He asked desperately as he struggled to take a deep breath. "You love her so you'll take care of her, right?"

"I will," Jackson promised.

"Good...good," Matthew smiled as he closed his eyes. "You're a good friend, Jackson. A real good guy...you're..."

Jackson opened his eyes to see what else his friend had to say. "Matt?" He asked frantically. His best friend's eyes were closed and his face was so still. He reached forward and placed his hand on Matthew's chest. He couldn't feel him breathing. He then reached upwards and checked for a pulse. Nothing. He clenched his teeth and slammed his fist against the floor. "God dammit!" He swore.

The next few hours were a blur for Jackson. He remembered crying like he had when he had lost his father at the age of ten. He remembered getting pulled out of the hole by Karev and Shepherd, but putting up a fight at the idea of leaving Matthew behind, and he remembered getting taken to the hospital...the hospital where April worked. He knew that a lot of different people had asked him questions, but he couldn't recall them or remember if he had been able to respond to them. He felt completely out of it.

At the hospital, he was fitted for a cast, taken to get X-rays, and given oxygen. It was recommended that he stay overnight but he wouldn't hear of it.

"I need to go tell April what's happened," Sloan stated as he stood at the foot of Jackson's bed.

"Let me do it?" Jackson asked as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. "Please?"

Sloan nodded after a moment of thought. It wasn't proper protocol but at the moment he didn't care about proper protocol. It was probably for the best if it was Jackson who told her.

Jackson grabbed the crutches that he had been given and started to slowly make his way towards the surgical floor. He spotted April at a deserted nurses' station and hobbled towards her. He couldn't stop himself from smiling at her when she spun around to face him.

"Oh my God," she gasped as she rushed towards him. "I was so worried! I was watching the news coverage but they weren't saying anything! What happened to you?" She gently touched his face, shoulders, and chest. Besides the fact that he was on crutches and his right leg was in a cast, he seemed okay. Dirty but okay.

"It's just a small break," he told her. "It's nothing to worry about."

She smiled brightly. "I'm so glad that you're okay because it means that Matthew's okay? Is he still getting checked out?" She knew that Matthew and Jackson looked out for each other; Jackson would never let anything happen to him.

His throat constricted and he did his best not to turn his head away. How was he supposed to tell her this? How was he supposed to just break her heart?

It turned out that he didn't have to say anything, it was written all over his face.

"No," she whispered. "Jackson...no...he didn't..." She couldn't even bring herself to say the word. She had spoken to him just a few hours ago, they had argued about why there was no milk in the fridge! "W-what happened?" She squeaked.

"The floor caved and he...I went down after him...I-I stayed with him but there was nothing I could really do and..." He stopped talking when she broke down into sobs in front of him. He _hated _to see her this devastated. It made him wish that he had fallen instead. He quickly dropped the crutch that was not supporting his broken leg and pulled her into him. She pressed her face against his chest and cried. He held her as tightly as he could and rubbed her back soothingly. "I'm so so sorry," he whispered.

He wasn't sure how long she cried, but he knew that his leg felt like it was on fire, before she pulled away and wiped her eyes with the collar of her scrub top. She switched back into professional mode when she noticed the grimace on his face. "You should really sit down."

He shook his head. "It's fine, I'm going to go home in a minute anyway."

"Home," the red-head murmured sadly. "Jackson, what am I supposed to tell the kids?"

Jackson's heart sank a little bit more. "I guess you just try to explain it to them the best way you can." He knew what it was like to lose a father young and it was going to be incredibly painful no matter how April told them.

"Can you come home with me?" She asked hopefully. "I know that it's super inappropriate considering everything that's happened between us the past few months, but the kids are so comfortable with you. I know they'll feel better if you're there and honestly, I don't know if I'll sleep in the house by myself."

He considered what she was asking carefully before he gave her a small nod. He couldn't say no, not tonight.

April picked her three children up from daycare and waited until they arrived home to break the news about Daddy. The girls cried and clung to their mother desperately while Jack had no idea what was going on.

When she finally managed to get them to go to sleep, she walked downstairs and spotted Jackson sitting on the sofa. He had turned on the basketball game but he clearly was not paying any attention to it. He was staring at his hands.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

He looked up at her and responded, "Are _you_ okay?"

"Jackson," she began as she sat down next to him. "He was your best friend. You loved him and he loved you."

"Yeah, some best friend I was," he scoffed. "I couldn't even keep my hands off his wife." April looked at him sympathetically and reached for his hand. He pulled away and clasped his hands together. "No, don't," he stated sternly. "I feel like a big enough asshole as it is. I didn't have his back today, not like I should have. It was my fault."

"I highly doubt that," she replied passionately. "Matthew told me about all of the times that you saved him. All of the times that he only made it out of buildings because of you." She exhaled heavily and ran a hand through her hair before she spoke again. "I'm glad that you were with him."

"He knew," Jackson confessed. "He knew how I feel about you and he was determined to forgive me."

She smiled fondly. "That sounds like him." Matthew had always been so unbelievably loving. He had never been able to stay mad at someone for more than ten minutes.

Jackson wasn't sure what else to say so he sat beside her in silence until she yawned. "You should probably try to get some sleep. The next week will be hectic."

She nodded in agreement but didn't make a move to get up off of the couch. "I can't go back up to our bed. I can't."

Jackson instantly hopped onto his good leg and started to limp across the room. "Here, you take the couch and I'll sleep in this chair."

"I can't do that," she argued. "What about your leg?"

"My leg is fine," he answered dismissively. "I'm more concerned about you anyway."

* * *

><p>April awoke the next morning and despite the discomfort in her neck, she had slept better than she had anticipated. She turned her head to look at Jackson sitting, asleep, in the armchair with his broken leg propped up on the coffee table. What surprised her was that Kate was curled up in his lap, she must have crept downstairs early this morning, unbeknownst to her mother. April slowly sat up and stretched her tired limbs before she stood up and lifted her daughter off of Jackson and into her arms.<p>

"Mommy," the little girl mumbled sleepily. "I was comfy on Uncle Jackson."

April smiled as she smoothed down her hair. "Uncle Jackson's hurt, sweetie. He needs his rest."

"Mommy," Kate spoke again.

"Yeah, honey?" She asked as she started to carry her daughter up over the stairs and back towards her bedroom.

"I miss Daddy already," she whispered as tears filled her big brown eyes.

April kissed her forehead sweetly. "Me too, baby. Me too."

"Will Uncle Jackson take care of us now?" She questioned promptly.

April opened the door to the bedroom that Kate shared with her older sister. She placed her back in her bed, tucked her in, and sat down before she addressed her question. "Uncle Jackson is not going to replace your Dad. Nobody could ever replace your Dad."

"I know that." She furrowed her brow and bit her bottom lip in concentration before she spoke again. "But he loves us."

April smiled, "Yeah, he loves you guys a lot."

Kate yawned as she closed her eyes and buried her face into her pillow. "He loves you too, Mommy," she murmured before she fell asleep.

The red-head sighed as she took a moment to watch her youngest daughter. That's exactly what she was trying not to think about, especially since her husband hadn't even been dead twenty-four hours yet. She couldn't do anything about her feelings for Jackson...ever...it wasn't right. It would be a disrespectful way to honour her husband.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three years later...<strong>_

April smiled happily as she watched her children play in the backyard through the kitchen window. Both of the girls were sitting in the swings and Jack was bouncing a basketball, and with Jackson's help, was aiming the ball at the hoop that Jackson had gotten him for his last birthday.

Her children looked really happy and the man that was playing with them was a major part of that. He had helped them through the greatest tragedy of their lives and for that April would always be grateful. Her kids loved him; they worshipped him. He was their hero. Jackson represented the good memories that they had of their father and the new ones that they had created in the past three years.

April would forever be in debt to him, for the past three years and for everything that he had done for her before then. Things immediately following Matthew's death had been difficult. She had put on an act of strength for her children but had spent the majority of her nights crying. She had slept in Matthew's clothes until every one of his t-shirts had lost his scent. It had been hard to adjust to a life without Matthew, they had been together for so long that her life had just felt empty without him. Jackson had had a similar struggle. He had taken two months off work and when he had returned, some of the guys had told her that he had taken a lot of unnecessary risks in fires. He just hadn't been himself for a little while. He had missed his best friend too much.

She shifted her gaze to the man that she was thinking about and grinned when he lifted Jack onto his shoulders. He was the perfect fit for her family. She was happy with the way that they were now. Their relationship was exactly what she wanted and needed in her life.

That's what she repeatedly told herself.

Jackson slipped through the backdoor and smiled at her while she kept an eye on the kids and continued to chop vegetables. "Hey."

"Hey," she smiled back. "Are you leaving now?"

He nodded as he sidled up to her. "Yeah, I should probably go back to my place and shower before I pick Steph up."

"When are you going to bring her here for dinner? You guys have been on like a hundred dates!"

He laughed and joked, "We've only been going out for three months so it hasn't been that many dates."

"And when was the last time that you dated someone for longer than three months?" She knew that Jackson was weary about bringing his new girlfriend around because of her kids. They were much older now than when he had brought a parade of women through this house, so they were more likely to get attached. But he seemed serious enough about her. Stephanie Edwards would probably be sticking around for a long time so it was about time that she saw this part of Jackson's life.

Jackson hesitated before he revealed the most recent piece of news in his life. "She asked me to move in with her."

April halted her steady rhythm on the cutting board and her shoulders tensed. "Oh...uhh...that's great."

He tilted his head and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. That had not been the reaction that he had been expecting. She was always incredibly positive when she forced him to talk about his girlfriend, in fact she was usually annoyingly pushy and encouraging. But now she sounded uncertain...discouraged even.

And he was very confused about it. He had spent the past three years of his life ignoring his feelings for April because she had made it clear that she wanted him in her life for her children, nothing more. He had allowed her the time to grieve her husband with the hope that they would one day be together, but she had shut him down repeatedly. It had taken him a long time to work up the courage to date seriously, and Stephanie was great, but he would end things with her in a heartbeat if April wanted him.

The red-head didn't say much more after that and he left the house feeling terribly conflicted.

* * *

><p>April was forced out of sleep in the middle of the night by the ringing of her cell phone. She rolled over and stared at the device in confusion before she reached a hand out and answered it. She mumbled a greeting and hoped that this would be a short conversation.<p>

"Hey, it's me."

She shot up into a sitting position upon hearing Jackson's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I'm outside. Come down and open the door," he requested.

He hung up and she stared at her phone curiously. He had sounded cryptic but angry. She slowly got out of her bed and padded downstairs in her shorts and baggy sweater. She unlocked and opened her front door to face Jackson. "What's wrong?" She asked again.

"You said 'Oh...uhh'."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "What? What are you talking about?"

He stepped into her house as he continued to air his frustrations. "I told you that Stephanie asked me to move in with her and you hesitated, you said 'Oh...uhh' and I can't stop thinking about it. You've told me time and time again that you don't want to be with me and now that stupid, little 'Oh...uhh' is making me question everything."

He had been ready to move in with Stephanie until he had heard April's response. Steph was a great girl. She was funny, she had a steady job, she was great in bed, and she wasn't his dead best friend's widow.

But April was April...she was amazing.

"Jackson, that's ridiculous. I was just surprised."

He stared at her skeptically. "You sure? Because I think you feel the same way about me as I do about you, you just can't let go of all your guilt." She had told him time and time again that it wasn't right, it didn't feel right because of Matthew. She had made excuses to not allow herself to be happy with him. It was awful.

She shook her head stubbornly. "That's not it," she insisted. "I'm thinking about my kids. I don't want them to get hurt if we don't work."

"That's not what you're worried about."

She narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me what I'm worried about," she shot back at him with a conscious effort to keep her voice down.

He stepped closer to her and whispered, "You still fee guilty for having feelings for me while Matthew was alive and you're scared that you'll lose me the same way you lost him."

April bit down on her bottom lip as she held back a barrage of tears. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," she breathed.

He took another step towards her and gently held her face. "I promised Matthew that I'd take care of you so you're not going to lose me. I also promised him that you'd be happy and I don't think you're very happy."

"I am happy," she argued softly.

"Could you be happier? Would you be happier if I didn't move in with my girlfriend?"

She tentatively rested her hands on his biceps and answered, "Don't make me say it." She had been denying what she wanted for so long, for so many different reasons, and it was true that she didn't want him to move in with Stephanie Edwards. She had tried to convince herself that she was happy that he was settling down, but she really wasn't. She wanted him with her family.

"Please say it," he begged as he brushed his nose along hers. "I need to hear it."

She bit down on her bottom lip before she finally muttered, "I want you. I want you, Jackson."

He sighed in relief before he kissed her passionately. He had waited so long to kiss her again like this. She kissed him back eagerly as she clutched his neck and he couldn't stop himself from lifting her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he quickly brought her over to the couch.

"Wait. Wait," she panted as she placed a cautionary hand on his chest. "I can't. I have three kids upstairs."

"Right," he breathed. He smiled understandingly as he sat up and pulled her feet into his lap. "So...we talk?"

"Yeah," she replied with a soft giggle. "We talk. We've always been really good at that."

He nodded in agreement. He loved talking to her, but it didn't make him any less eager to make love to her. But the huge smile on her face that showed off a single dimple made him happy. He hadn't seen that smile in over three years.

It was a good place to start.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! Let me know if this one hit you in the feels :)**


	5. Gym Rats

**A/N: Hello! I am still alive and I have not given up on any of my stories! I have just been very busy with school. I'm about to finish my second university degree and that's pretty stressful.**

**Anyway, here's another AU piece! Enjoy :) **

**Also, thanks boo ;)**

**Disclaimer: Same as always!**

* * *

><p>April nervously bit down on her bottom lip as she walked towards the intimidating gym equipment for the first time. She had only been inside the building long enough to change in the locker room and she was already rethinking her New Year's resolution. It was a stupid idea. She didn't even believe in New Year's resolutions. This was the first one that she had ever made in her life.<p>

But in her defence, last year had been an absolutely terrible year and she had just wanted a change. Even if it was a stupid, small one.

Just after Thanksgiving, Matthew, her boyfriend of three years, had broken up with her. For her it had come out of nowhere but clearly he had been thinking about it for a while. He hadn't offered her much of an explanation. He had just said that things had changed between them. In reality she knew that the only thing that had changed over the years had been her weight. She wasn't overweight by any means, but she had always been rather petite and now she knew that she was just a little heavier than when they had first met. After a lot of crying and drinking, pep talks from her friends, and dying her hair red, she had decided to make her very first New Year's resolution. She was going to go to the gym regularly. And she told herself time and time again that she was not doing this for Matthew, she was doing it for herself.

She wanted to be able to wear her favourite dress again.

So she had purchased a membership to the nicest gym closest to her apartment building and had been given a very nice tour and explanation of how to use all of the equipment.

Now, however, she completely forgot all of those instructions. She opted for the safe choice and headed towards the treadmill. She knew how to do that without help; she had run track in high school.

She ran on the treadmill for forty minutes before she stretched, showered, and headed home. She called Arizona and complained about how she already hated the gym but she still went back the next day. She was too stubborn to give up already.

She took Sunday off but returned to gym before work on Monday. She hopped on the treadmill again and looked across to the weight room where she spotted the most beautiful man that she had ever seen her in life. She was surprised that she didn't trip in her own feet and fall because she was sure that she was staring at him like a cartoon character. He was tall with broad shoulders and lovely olive skin. He had a clean shaven head but scruff along his jawline that was very sexy. He was wearing a black t-shirt and blue shorts but it was easy to tell that he had an incredible body. The gym was clearly not an unfamiliar place to him.

And suddenly April had her motivation to keep up her stupid New Year's resolution for a little while longer.

* * *

><p>She watched him over the next two weeks like some creepy, pathetic, stalker, but he was too nice not to look at. He came to the gym Monday through Friday at the same time as her, which meant that he probably had a job that he went to afterwards. Probably something super successful, she thought to herself, like a lawyer or a hot shot businessman, or maybe he was a model. He was pretty enough. She could see him as a model...an underwear model maybe. Or maybe he was an athlete.<p>

Look at those thighs. They could definitely be the thighs of a football player.

Sometimes he came to the gym with a friend but most of the time he was alone. He did different exercises on different days, most of them with weights, but he also used the rowing machine and a few others machines that she wasn't gym-experienced enough to name. He never ventured towards the treadmills and she was willing to bet that he ran outside. She was also willing to bet that he did push-ups and sit-ups at home too.

With those arms. Definitely.

She sighed to herself as she gradually slowed down the treadmill and pulled out the ear buds of her IPod. She was acting more pathetic than usual, she was fawning over a guy that she hadn't even spoken to. She didn't even know his name.

And even if she did, he was _so _out of her league. He was ten times hotter than Matthew and even he had thought that he could do better than her.

As per her routine, she headed to the locker room and took a quick shower before leaving the gym. She stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the main floor when someone hopped in at the last minute. She felt her cheeks flush and she quickly looked down at her shoes. It was the beautiful man. He was wearing a grey t-shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket, and he had his gym bag over his shoulder.

"Hey," he greeted as the elevator doors slid closed.

Oh great, she thought to herself, he has a hot voice too. "Hi," she responded meekly.

"You spend a lot of time on the treadmill," he added after a pause.

Her eyebrows shot into her hairline. He had noticed her? He had noticed her on the treadmill?

"Yeah, I guess. I find some of the other equipment rather intimidating," she laughed softly.

He chuckled along with her and she could have sworn that her insides twisted in delight.

Once he stopped laughing he turned to her with a bright smile. "I'm Jackson by the way," he introduced himself as he offered his hand.

God, she sighed internally, his teeth and his smile were to die for. She placed her hand in his as she forced herself to make eye contact with him. Bad decision. Very bad. His eyes were the strangest and most exotic colour, a mixture of blue and green.

He was so pretty that she was almost jealous.

"I'm April," she answered after clearing her throat. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he grinned. He let her hand go and stepped towards the door as the elevator came to a stop. "If you ever want to step off the treadmill and have a real workout, let me know."

Her mouth dropped open and she blushed at the possible innuendo. She recomposed herself quickly and quietly scolded herself. Obviously he did not mean it that way, he was talking about the gym.

"Pull it together, Kepner," she mumbled to herself.

* * *

><p>Three days later, she decided to take Jackson's advice and venture off of the treadmill. She ran for only twenty minutes before she slowly walked towards a piece of equipment that she had seen many people use for their arms and legs.<p>

She was still looking at it quizzically when she heard a voice behind her. "Do you need some help?"

She spun around to see Jackson smirking at her with his perfect torso and stupid perfect face. "Oh...hi," she blushed. "I'm just...um...sizing up this particular machine."

He chuckled as he approached her and placed the water bottle that he was holding on the floor. "Just sit down and I'll help you out," he smiled pleasantly.

After nervously chewing on her bottom lip, she did as she was told and sat on the cushioned seat. Jackson knelt down beside her and adjusted the amount of weight that she would be lifting.

"Let's not go crazy," he spoke quietly. "We'll start with a light weight and go from there. This is the first time you've done this?" He asked as a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I think that's pretty obvious," she replied shyly. "I guess I'm a bit of a gym virgin. I mean except for the treadmill. I used to run in high school so being on the treadmill feels pretty normal but all of these other machines are totally over my head," she rambled.

He slowly rose to his feet again and looked down at her with a boyish grin. "I'm sorry, I didn't really hear anything after virgin."

She blushed traitorously and her eyes widened. She couldn't believe that she had said something like that in front of him. Her lack of filter consistently got her in trouble, but it usually wasn't an issue around outrageously gorgeous men. Mostly she just embarrassed herself around her friends and close coworkers, and none of them looked like Jackson.

He put her out of her misery when he smiled pleasantly and helped her adjust her position. He watched her do repetitions of the arm press before he adjusted the weight.

"Does that feel good?" He asked in concern.

She nodded slowly as the timber of his voice made her wish that he was asking her that question in a very different situation.

She did fifty repetitions before exhaling a puff of air and standing. "Is that it? Or should I do something else?"

"That's good for today," he smiled. "You don't want to overdo it."

"Well that wasn't very hard," she laughed softly. She experimentally stretched her neck and she watched him narrow his eyes in distress. "What?"

"Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself, did you? I wouldn't want to send you back to the treadmill."

"No, I think I'm fine," she assured him.

"Well let me see, just to be sure." He led her towards one of the benches underneath the window and straddled the bench so that he could massage her shoulders. "I'm not trying to be creepy or anything. This is what I do."

She didn't think he was being creepy...creepy was definitely not the word that she would use. His fingers felt magical. She cleared her throat and decided to strike up casual conversation to distract herself. "So what exactly do you do?"

"I'm an athletic trainer for the U Dub Huskies," he answered quietly. "Football specifically."

And she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

"What do you do, April?" He asked, and she could hear a genuine interest in his voice.

She closed her eyes as the pads of his fingers dug into her shoulder blades. "I'm an internal medicine fellow at Mercy West Hospital."

"Wow," he whistled. "Impressive. That's like what they do on _House _right."

"Yes," she giggled. "Sort of." She opened her eyes and glanced at her watch. "And speaking of work, I should really get going." His hands dropped to his sides and she turned to face him. "Thanks for everything."

"It's not a problem," he smiled. "I love this stuff, I guess I'm a bit of a gym nerd."

She laughed and tried not to let her eyes wander over his chiseled body. His love for the gym showed, she thought. "Well have a great day, Jackson."

"Yeah, you too," he replied brightly. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Most likely," she smiled.

"Great," he grinned. "I'll show you how to work another machine."

* * *

><p>April tried to ignore her friend as she approached the coffee cart. All that she wanted was her morning coffee; she had not anticipated a lecture.<p>

"He wants to get in your pants!" Arizona practically squealed as April placed her order.

The red-head rolled her eyes as she paid for her beverage. "He does not," she threw over her shoulder.

"He rubbed your shoulders," the blonde pointed out.

April huffed as they started to walk towards the elevators. "He's just being nice. He's an athletic trainer, he likes doing that kinda stuff. He saw how helpless and pathetic I looked amongst all the equipment and offered to help me. That doesn't mean anything. Not all guys have ulterior motives."

"You know that men obsess over the idea of having sex at the gym, right? So if they're talking to you, if they're offering their _help_, then they're really thinking about one thing."

April stopped in her tracks and raised both of her eyebrows in bewilderment. "What do you know about what men are thinking?"

Arizona brushed off her comment with a scoff. "Enough! So," she began as a devilish grin took over her face, "when are you going to let him in your pants?"

April blushed but rolled her eyes. "I assure you that he is not interested in me. He's," she paused, "the word gorgeous doesn't even do him justice. He's the prettiest man I've ever seen and his body is incredible. He's in a league that is very out of my reach."

The paediatrician frowned as April continued on her way to the elevator. April had always been rather insecure, but all of those insecurities had been amplified during her break up with Matthew. The girl was convinced that she wasn't physically attractive, which was absolutely absurd.

"April," Arizona began softly.

"Don't start," April cut in. "I don't need some uplifting speech. I'm okay, really." She glanced at her watch and smiled. "And now I have an appointment. See you at lunch?"

Arizona nodded slowly but continued to frown. "Yeah, see you at lunch."

* * *

><p>April winced as she hopped off the treadmill and hobbled towards a nearby bench. She sat down and started to massage her right thigh, clearly she had not stretched adequately before running.<p>

"You okay?" A familiar voice called.

She glanced up and offered Jackson a smile, but she knew that it looked more like a grimace. "Yeah, my hamstring is just a little tight."

"Want me to stretch it for you?"

"Yeah, that'd be great actually," she responded quickly. She laid back on the bench without thinking and closed her eyes. She felt Jackson raise her right leg and press it back towards her body as much as he could. It felt so good that she couldn't stop herself from releasing a moan.

Her eyes flew open in embarrassment and she looked up to see Jackson hovering over her with a small smile. "You okay?"

She nodded slowly as she felt her face heat, hopefully he would think that she was still flushed from running and not because she had just moaned. And not because her knee was hooked over his shoulder and she could see all of his beautiful, rippling muscles. She took a deep breath and let her eyes drift towards the ceiling. In retrospect this was an incredibly bad idea and she wasn't sure why she had said yes so quickly. Why did she think it was a good idea to let him stretch her hamstring? Now he had his hands on her thigh and she could smell his amazing cologne, and she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about this for the rest of the day like some obsessive teenage girl.

And here he was trying to be a nice guy and a professional, and she was imaging him sweaty and naked...but they were still in this position.

"That's good. Thanks," she mumbled with a squeak.

He carefully eased her leg off of his shoulder and she sat up. She avoided his gaze as she packed up the bag at her feet.

"How have you been?" He asked politely.

"Good." She raised her head and smiled tentatively. "Work has been busy. What about you?"

"I've been great," he grinned. "Work has been really great and I've discovered this great hole in the wall Indian restaurant. It's a diamond in the rough for sure." He chuckled to himself, "I kinda like to eat."

Well it certainly doesn't show, she thought to herself.

His eyes started to trail along her legs and she started to become self-conscious as to the reason why...either he was still thinking about her sore hamstring, or he was realizing just how chubby her thighs were. To shift his attention she cleared her throat and brought up a new topic of conversation. "Do you have any plans for this weekend?"

His already bright eyes brightened even more and a broad grin took over his face. "No, I'm completely free. You?"

She slowly shook her head. "Nope! I'll probably just relax like I do every weekend."

He seemed slightly surprised by her answer, and she could see his jaw tense as he ran a hand over his shaved head. There was a long silence before he spoke again. "Actually, I have an idea for something to do this weekend that would really make you sweat."

April's mouth dropped open as her minded wandered off to a dirty place. Thankfully, he elaborated before she could completely give herself away.

"This gym offers a hot yoga class every Saturday at seven. It's pretty great. You should come?" He asked as he delicately raised an eyebrow.

"Oh...um," she muttered. "Yeah, maybe I will." She slowly stood up and got to her feet as she grabbed her bag. "But I really have to get to work. Maybe I'll see you later."

"Yeah, definitely," he called out to her. "Think about hot yoga!"

* * *

><p>April did think about hot yoga, and a lot more, for the next few days. When she fell asleep at night she pictured Jackson above her stretching her hamstring and well...it lead to very interesting dreams. She woke up hot and bothered and drenched in sweat, and had taken to having cold showers before she even went to the gym.<p>

Today, on her day off, she had decided to go to the gym in the afternoon. Her reasoning had been that maybe she would be able to avoid Jackson and all of his physical perfection. Unfortunately, while walking by the indoor basketball court she spotted him playing basketball with another very attractive guy.

And he was shirtless. Shirtless and glistening with sweat.

She watched him dunk the basketball into the hoop, and look amazing while doing it. He laughed and tossed the basketball to his friend before he turned and spotted her on the other side of the glass wall. He waved with a smile and her natural reaction was to awkwardly wave back before hurrying anyway.

She couldn't talk to him. Not today.

* * *

><p>Jackson watched April practically run away with a frown on his face. He just didn't get her, and he liked to think that he was generally pretty good with women.<p>

"Hey," Alex Karev chuckled, "who's the stalker?"

Jackson sighed as he placed his hands on his hips. "That's April. She's messing with my head."

His friend furrowed his brow in confusion. "She not putting out?"

Jackson shook his head, of course Karev would jump to issues with sex. "No, we haven't even been on a date yet." A fact that frustrated Jackson to no end. He thought that they had a flirty relationship that was slowly and steadily progressing. The other day when she had asked him about his weekend plans he had been sure that she was going to ask him to have dinner, or a drink, or something. "Like I have no idea if she's not interested or if she's just playing hard to get."

Karev shrugged before he took a shot from the free throw line. "Maybe you're just not being blunt enough."

The dark-skinned man looked down at his shoes and smiled to himself. "She does seem pretty innocent. It's sweet."

Karev ignored the guy's response and trudged forward. "You guys workout together all the time, right?" Jackson nodded in confirmation. "Well just man up and ask her after a workout if she wants to screw in the shower."

Jackson picked the basketball up off of the floor and threw it at Karev. "I don't need to be that blunt, man." He didn't want to completely turn her off propositioning her like that.

"Whatever," he shrugged with a boisterous laugh. "That's what I would do."

Jackson rolled his eyes and started to laugh along with his friend. "Yeah, I know you would, and it's definitely not something I would be opposed to."

Alex chuckled triumphantly, "There's the Avery I know."

Although sex was definitely on his mind, he just wanted to know if she was into him because he really liked her. "She's really sweet and smart, she's a doctor, and her ass," he groaned. "Damn, she has a great ass."

"Tell me all about it," Karev smirked.

Jackson paused thoughtfully before he responded. "Actually I'm going to track her down. I'll be right back!"

He sprinted off of the court and towards the women's locker room. He figured that if she had taken a shower then he hadn't missed her yet. He waited patiently and greeted her with a bright smile when she finally emerged from the room.

"Jackson," she gasped in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to catch you before you left," he explained. "I hope that I didn't scare you off because I'm practically naked."

He chuckled, and because he had drawn attention to his partial nakedness, April could not stop herself from letting her eyes drift over his torso. He looked just as unbelievable shirtless as she had imagined. His abs were perfect, and his hip bones protruded just enough to be sexy, and his pecs looked firm and strong. And he was glistening.

And she wanted to run her hands over him.

And maybe lick him a little.

"No, it's fine," she squeaked. "Did you want something?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to remind you about hot yoga tonight. It'd be really cool if you could come. I'd really like it," he added suggestively.

She nervously chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated his request. Would he be shirtless at hot yoga? She asked herself.

"I will come if nothing comes up," she finally answered.

He smiled widely and she felt her stomach flutter just a little. "Great."

* * *

><p>Jackson watched April stretch without trying to appear too obvious. He wanted to look but he didn't want to come off as a pervert.<p>

For whatever reason, she had decided to come to hot yoga with him and he was very happy about it. Her mat was in front of his and slightly to the right so he had the perfect view. She looked incredible in a tank and shorts and he was enjoying watching her bend into interesting positions. It gave him lots of ideas.

He heard the instructor call out that the next position was downward facing dog and he tried to contain his boyish smirk. He moved into the position easily, having done it hundreds of times of before, and then watched April move into the position with grace.

He couldn't stop himself from thinking that her ass looked even better from this angle.

"You're a natural," he commented.

"Thanks," she panted, "I didn't think it'd be this hard to be honest."

"It feels great though, right?" She answered him with a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan and he felt a distinct stirring below his waist. He closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. He refused to be _that _guy. He could control himself.

But apparently he couldn't control his eyes because they were still glued to April's ass. He knew that there were at least four women in this room that were staring at him and yet he was hung up on the girl that didn't even know that he was flirting with her. What was wrong with him? Maybe Karev was right, maybe he just wasn't being up front enough. He needed to stop being subtle and just get to the point.

They did three more positions, all of which afforded him amazing views, before the instructor walked them through a few cool down stretches. Afterwards, he turned to April with a smile. "Feels rejuvenating, right?"

She nodded in agreement as she brushed a few tendrils of hair off of her forehead. "Definitely. I didn't know I could sweat that much."

He laughed as he bent down and picked his towel up off of the floor. He wiped his chest and noticed that her eyes followed the motion. She wanted him, at least in some capacity and maybe not as much as he wanted her, but she wanted him. He _really _wanted her. In his bed. In his shower. On his kitchen table.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" He asked softly. "Or maybe a drink?"

"That sounds great but I'm the sweatiest I've ever been in my life," she laughed, "so I should go home and get in the shower."

"There's a shower at my place," he responded suggestively.

Her mouth dropped open and she realized that she had no idea how to respond to that. He was definitely inviting her to his place, but was he also inviting her into his shower? Was this some kind of joke? She thought to herself. If so, it wasn't very funny.

She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder without looking at him. "I have some things to do," she muttered quietly. "Bye Jackson."

Jackson watched her leave with a bewildered expression on his face. He didn't know what he was doing wrong. Subtle hadn't worked and neither had coming on strong. He didn't know what the hell to do.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry about trying to convince you to take off your pants for him," Arizona spoke quietly as they walked into the gym together. "He's obviously a jerk, and a little bit of a perv."<p>

"I thought he was nice," she sighed in disappointment. "He was helpful and friendly. I just didn't think he would joke like that." She paused and sighed before she spoke again. "Matthew used to joke like that when he wasn't interested in me anymore."

Arizona frowned as they headed towards the treadmills. "Well maybe he wasn't joking. Maybe it was a real shower invitation."

April sharply turned her head and raised her eyebrow. "I doubt that. There were likely twenty other women in that room that he could have extended real shower invitations to. They all ogle him like he's a piece of meat."

Not that she was any better.

"April," she admonished. "You have a great body, one that guys want to talk showers with."

"No, I don't," the red-head muttered. "Now let's run."

Arizona sighed before giving into her, but it wasn't long before they were interrupted by some sort of God on Earth. She had never been attracted to men before but a part of her thought that she could make an exception for him.

"Hey April," he began as he leaned against the front of her treadmill. "I just wanted to talk to you about Saturday night."

The red-head flushed and turned to her friend. "There's nothing to talk about," she replied dismissively. "This is my friend Arizona, we work together."

He extended his hand with a charming smile. "Hi, I'm Jackson Avery, nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Arizona smiled and April could have sworn that her cheeks flushed a little.

Jackson sensed that April wasn't in the mood to talk to him so he returned to the weight room after exchanging some pleasantries with Arizona.

Once he was on the other side of the gym, Arizona slapped April's arm and gasped. "That's him! That's _Jackson_!" April nodded in confirmation so she continued to gush. "You really weren't lying about how gorgeous he is. I would take a shower with him," she laughed.

April rolled her eyes. She would too, but it was just a fantasy. One of many fantasies that she had had about him over the past few months. Just this morning she had woken up after having a dream that had included him doing naked push-ups above her. She had been sweaty and embarrassed. Her crush was getting a tad out of control. She just needed to meet a nice, sensible guy that was on her level. She needed to be realistic.

When she and Arizona finished their workout they went their separate ways. Both took a quick shower in the locker room but then Arizona headed to the hospital while April stopped into a nearby cafe. She was just about to order a tea and a bagel when she heard the very last voice that she wanted to hear on any day.

"April?"

She reluctantly turned around and came face to face with her ex. "Matthew, hey, how's it going?" She asked with a forced smile.

"Good," he smiled back. "I've been good. You?"

She nodded and hummed. "Hmm, yeah, busy at work as usual."

He looked her up and down and his smile widened even further. "You look really great."

She ignored his compliment and looked around the small cafe as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm just waiting for my boyfriend," she blurted out. "He's supposed to meet me." She knew that it was wrong to lie but she just couldn't admit to him that she was still the same person as she had been before they had broken up. Lying about a boyfriend seemed like the best way to prove to him that she was completely over him.

Which she totally was...she just didn't have a real boyfriend to prove it.

But Matthew's smile instantly dropped and that made her feel better. "Oh that's cool," he replied. "How long have you guys been together?"

"Just a couple weeks."

April felt a rush of relief when the door to the cafe opened and Jackson stepped inside. Before she could talk herself out of it, she waved to him and called, "Hey hun, over here!"

Jackson played along instantaneously and walked towards her with a bright smile. He wrapped his arm around her waist and placed a kiss on her temple. "Hey babe." He nuzzled his nose into her hair and hummed. "Mmm, you smell good."

Matthew cleared his throat and Jackson turned to him with a large boyish smile. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Jackson Avery." He extended his hand and furrowed his brow. "And you are?"

"Matthew Taylor," he answered in annoyance. "April and I used to date."

"Oh, she's never mentioned you," Jackson grinned.

April bit down on her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing out loud. She could tell that Matthew was incredibly irritated and he had only been in Jackson's presence for less than five minutes. But he had always had a problem with pretty boys and Jackson was certainly a pretty boy.

Matthew was still staring at Jackson in annoyance when he whispered in her ear loud enough for Matthew to hear. "I know I said we could get breakfast but can we take it to go? I just really wanna get you back to my apartment." He slipped his hand into the back pocket of her jeans and April had to actively keep herself from blushing.

She could feel his hand on her ass.

Before she could respond, Jackson turned to Matthew with another bright smile. "We're gonna go. It was really nice to meet you."

Matthew mumbled in agreement and watched them leave the cafe.

Once they were around the corner, April turned to face Jackson with a giggle. "Thank you for doing that! I'm not sure why I called out to you like that. Thanks for playing along!"

"No problem," he smiled. "Who was that guy anyway?"

"My ex," she responded with a frown. "We didn't end on very good terms and that was the first time that I've seen him since the breakup."

"Well then I'm glad I could help." He glanced at his watch and then at her. "What are you up to now? Do you have the day off?"

She nodded. "Yep! I was going to start my day off with tea and a bagel but I guess that option is out now."

"Want to come back to my apartment? The offer still stands," he spoke slowly as he twirled his keys on his finger.

"What? Um...I don't understand...I..."

Jackson grabbed her to stop her incoherent rambling and he pressed his mouth to hers before she could say anything else. He was done with talking, clearly it did not work for them. He kissed her hungrily, pushing his tongue into her mouth, while his hands ran up and down her back. When he finally pulled away, she panted as she looked at him with wide eyes. "So," he said before licking his lips. "My place?"

"Uh huh," she squeaked. How could she say no after that kiss?

Jackson grinned and entwined his fingers with hers. "Come on, it's just around the corner."

He lead her towards his apartment and he was right, it really wasn't that far. Or maybe she was just so distracted by the lingering feeling of his lips on hers.

He unlocked his door and April didn't even get a chance to take in her surroundings before his hands and mouth were on her. She responded to him excitedly and squealed when he lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

He was strong...but of course he was, she thought, all of those muscles.

He placed her back on her feet but kept a firm hold of her hips. April had never been with someone where it felt this urgent. She wasn't sure exactly what to make of it but she knew that she felt really good.

He walked backwards until he hit the edge of his bed. He sat down and made sure to pull her between his legs. He held her mouth to his with one hand in her hair before he pulled away and allowed her to stand up straight. "God," he groaned, "I've wanted this for so long. I thought you were playing games with me."

She laughed softly, "I don't know how to play games."

"Yeah, I get that now," he grinned. "You just need me to be explicit. I guess I'll have to keep telling you what I want." He chuckled as he placed his mouth against her collarbone. "And right now I want you in my shower." He kept a hand entwined in her hair as he got to his feet. He kissed her repeatedly on the mouth before he pulled away with a laugh. "I just want you naked."

He took a step backwards and started to peel off his layers of clothing. Eventually he was standing in just a pair of tight, black boxer briefs and all that she could do was stare. His body was so perfect that it was hard to believe that he was real.

And all that April could think about was that she still couldn't fit into her favourite dress.

He stepped up to her and moved to wrap his arms around her waist but she backed away. "I'm sorry," she muttered as she looked down at the floor.

He followed her movement and successfully placed his hands on her hips. "It's okay," he whispered softly. He had no idea what she was apologizing for though. He dipped his head to kiss her but she stepped away again. "April."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I thought that I could do this but I can't. I'm sorry."

She had fled his apartment before he had even realized what was happening. He looked around his bedroom in confusion and groaned. Why did she keep running away from him?

* * *

><p>"You did <em>what<em>?" Arizona asked over lunch the next day.

April hung her head in shame as she twirled her fork through her spaghetti. "I ran away," she mumbled.

"Why?" The paediatrician practically yelled. "You were in his bedroom and he was almost naked, and you ran away?"

The red-head sighed and dropped her fork. "I looked at him and he was so gorgeous that I knew that I couldn't go through with it."

Now Arizona was really confused. "Why?"

"Because," April began, "he was standing there looking so perfect with his abs, and his pecs, and his thighs, and his very impressive package, and all that I could think about was what he would think of me when I took my clothes off. I couldn't handle that so I left," she finished quietly. "He's probably slept with women who look like supermodels. I can't compare."

"April," Arizona began angrily. She had finally had enough. "You have to stop thinking about yourself this way. He's attracted to you. He wanted you naked. Let him have his fun! It's not about you anymore; it's a public service!"

April laughed softly but confessed a secret. "I want to fit back into my favourite dress first. The black sexy one. That's my goal."

"That can still be your goal, you can just accomplish this while sleeping with him...because of his very impressive package," she added with a chuckle.

The red-head laughed and tried to hide her blushing face. "It was very pretty. He could easily be an underwear model." She giggled as she tried to finish the rest of her lunch.

It was nice to think about but it wouldn't do her any good. She had run away, and even if she was ever able to face him again, she doubted that he would want to talk to her. She was too much work...too much effort. She wasn't worth it.

* * *

><p>When April finally mustered up the courage to return to the gym, she stepped into the elevator after taking a deep breath. She was an adult, she told herself, she could handle this.<p>

However, she instantly froze and gulped nervously upon seeing who was already inside the elevator.

Jackson was leaning against the back wall with his arms folded across his chest. "You've been avoiding me," he shot at her.

"I was working nights," she replied.

That was true but it was also true that she had been avoiding him.

She looked down at her feet and was surprised when he gently pushed her against the wall and placed both of his hands on either side of her head. "What is your problem?" He asked in frustration.

She looked up at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"You're playing me hot and cold," he explained. "Do you like me or not? Because one minute you're into me and the next you're running out of my apartment, and I must say, I've never had a woman run away after I've taken my clothes off."

"It's not you," she assured him quickly. "You looked great. You look really good without your clothes on." She blushed furiously. "I mean...I...oh God..."

"It's okay," he interrupted. "I'll take the compliment. So what's going on?"

"I...just...I..." She exhaled heavily, "Sometimes I just feel really insecure around you because you're so good-looking and I...I just...I'm trying to lose weight. I don't feel very comfortable in my body," she confessed quietly.

Jackson closed his eyes for a moment as everything made much more sense to him. She always seemed a little awkward at the gym, sometimes she wore unnecessarily baggy clothing, and she had never gotten the hint that he had been flirting with her. She didn't have much confidence, probably because of her ex. "I think you look great," he told her. "I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, but just so you know, everyone feels insecure about something."

She raised an eyebrow in challenge. "You do?"

"I'm pretty. Most women are only ever interested in me for my looks. They can barely stand to hear me talk," he laughed.

"I'm sorry," she answered sincerely.

He smiled, "When you asked me every morning about my work, that's the most I've talked about myself in years. It was refreshing."

"Sorry," she whispered again.

"Stop apologizing," he chuckled before he kissed her. "So, do you want to go somewhere and talk?"

She couldn't stop herself from giggling. "Are you asking me out like a normal person?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed playfully. "Yes, I am. Although in my defence, I thought that was the only way to make myself clear."

"I would love to talk," she began tentatively. "But would you be opposed to going back to my apartment instead?"

She was not going to chicken out this time.

She bit down on her bottom lip coyly and he knew exactly what she was suggesting. For once they were talking about the same thing. "I would like that a lot," he responded huskily.

The elevator stopped and she looked at him curiously. "Do you still want to do our workout or skip it?"

He chuckled again as he placed his mouth against her ear. "I don't think we'll need to worry about burning calories."

She flushed and her heart raced as she reached forward and impatiently pressed the button that would bring them down to the main lobby. When the elevator doors closed, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to hers. He pressed her up against the wall and they kissed desperately until the elevator came to a halt again.

"I live in the building across the street," she told him breathlessly.

"Great," he replied excitedly. "Lead the way."

She did lead the way but she could feel Jackson's restlessness as he walked beside her.

"What floor do you live on?"

"The fourth," she answered.

Jackson swore under his breath. "Damn, that's far."

She giggled and increased the pace of her step. They finally made it to her building and stepped into the elevator where they made out like teenagers. They walked down the hallway to her apartment and she unlocked the door as fast as she could.

They finally made it inside and Jackson's arms instantly wrapped around her while his mouth attached to her neck.

"You have a nice place," he muttered.

She laughed loudly. "You're not even looking!"

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's nice," he explained. "I can look at the apartment later."

She giggled even louder as his hands slipped underneath the front of her shirt. "Jackson, my bedroom is down the hall."

"Don't know if I'll make it there," he murmured as he urgently pushed her up against the kitchen counter.

She felt every inch of his hard, muscular body against hers and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to make it to her bedroom either. "Okay," she gasped before kissing him heatedly.

They didn't make it out of her kitchen. It was frantic and desperate. They teared at her others clothes and groped, and there was lots of teeth and tongue. It was hot and sweaty, and so completely satisfying. April had never known that sex could be that primal. It was amazing. She wasn't sure why she had even waited to jump him like that.

She giggled uncontrollably as he laid next to her on the kitchen floor. "That was great."

"Yeah, it was," he agreed with a pant. "Fucking amazing." He looked around the kitchen and grinned mischievously. "This is the cleanest kitchen that I've ever had sex in." She smacked his abdomen and he laughed. "Kidding...well, sort of." He rolled over around his side and snaked an arm around her waist. "I wasn't too rough, was I?"

He was worried that things had gotten a little out of hand. He had done a few things in a the heat of the moment that had seemed like fantastic ideas, but now he was a little afraid that he had scared her off.

She slowly shook her head. "No, definitely not." She chewed on her bottom lip as she blushed fiercely. "I've never...before...not like that," she stammered.

He smiled proudly as his hand slipped down to cup her ass. "You've never come like that before?" He asked as he brushed his nose against hers. She kissed him and he took that as a yes. "What?" He muttered against her lips. "Was the tall dork a little lacking downstairs?"

She smacked him again, this time on the chest. "Don't make fun of other people just because you're physically perfect."

"Is that a yes?" He persisted playfully.

"Stop it!" She admonished with a giggle. "You just think about the fact that I let you leave a hand print on my ass."

He grinned uncontrollably as his hand gently caressed her behind. "I just really couldn't help myself." He had spent far too much time thinking about her ass to not grab it at his first opportunity. His hand slipped down to her thigh and his eyes trailed over her legs. All of that running had done wonders for her, her thighs and calves were incredibly toned. "You have really great legs," he told her huskily.

She glanced down and instantly grimaced. "They're so pale that I almost just blinded myself."

He laughed, "Yeah, but they feel pretty awesome wrapped around me. That's something you can't experience."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think I realized that you were such a perv."

"I'm just being appreciative," he explained impishly. He leaned down and nuzzled her neck. "I think you're beautiful," he whispered.

She felt herself practically turn to mush as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He sounded _so _sincere. "Do you wanna see my bedroom room?" She asked him quietly.

"I dunno, I'm really enjoying the kitchen," he joked.

Before she could reply, or hit him, he kissed her and scooped her into his arms. "I'll try my best to make it to the bedroom this time," he promised.

* * *

><p>April giddily raced around her apartment as she got ready for her first evening date with Jackson. It had been two weeks since they had slept together and she had been working nights for two weeks. They worked out together at the gym per their usual routine and they had gone to grab coffee on several occasions, but there was something that felt different about going out together in the evening. They would have dinner and wine, maybe there would be some dancing, and then they'd likely end up in bed.<p>

She was very excited, and not just for the sex.

She squealed when the doorbell rang as she grabbed her heels. "One second!" She called out.

"Take your time, babe!" Jackson yelled back.

She slipped her heels on, checked her appearance in her bathroom mirror, and took a deep breath before she walked to the door to let Jackson in. He was wearing black slacks and a blue, button-up shirt, and of course he looked gorgeous.

"You look so handsome," she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her apartment.

"Thanks," he grinned. He placed his hands on her waist and kissed her in greeting before he took a step back to look at her. "Wow. You look really unbelievable." His hands brushed her sides sensually as his grin broadened. "That is one sexy dress."

"I know what you're thinking," she laughed softly. "And we're going to dinner. We have a reservation!"

"Okay, okay," he conceded with a sigh. "But you really do look smokin' in that dress."

She smiled to herself as she grabbed her purse. Well it was her favourite dress for a reason, and the last time that she had worn it she had been on some boring date with Matthew. She felt much different wearing it this time around. She was more confident and fitter...and just happier.

And all because of a stupid New Year's resolution.

She kissed Jackson softly and placed her hands on his biceps. "If you're lucky, I'll let you take it off later," she teased.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! And I'll post again when I can :)**


	6. In My Veins

**A/N: Hi guys! Here's another kinda different/kinda weird one shot. It was essentially inspired by tinyhuman02 and I being obsessed with The Returned (if you haven't watched it, you should), so it is definitely something that I haven't done before. I also tried something new where I didn't write their entire back story in the beginning, instead I layered it as snippets throughout the piece. Soo I hope you like it :) Be open-minded!**

**Disclaimer: The usual! :)**

* * *

><p>April Kepner jumped out of bed as her emergency backup alarm chimed loudly. "Shit," she cursed to herself as she stumbled over her own feet and fell on her bedroom floor. She had been so tired last night that she had forgotten about her usual morning alarm. Thankfully, she had never turned her emergency alarm off. She rushed into the bathroom, despite her bruised knees, and hopped into the shower. She already knew that she was going to be late but she still tried to move as quickly as possible.<p>

After showering, she pulled on a clean pair of blue jeans and a red blouse, and towel dried her hair before she ran into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. She threw two pieces of toast in the toaster before gulping down a class of orange juice. She quickly glanced at her watch and knew that she only had enough time this morning to make one lunch instead of two, and there was a person in this house that took priority over her. She could grab a cup of coffee and a sandwich at work.

She padded down the hallway and opened the door to the room that bore a pink name placard. "Avery, honey," she called softly. "We gotta go. Mommy's already late for work." She moved to sit on the edge of the bed and she gently ruffled her little girl's long curls. "Come on, baby, wake up."

"I don't wanna wake up, Mommy," she mumbled as she rolled over. "It's Saturday."

April couldn't stop herself from smiling. "I know, but you can see your friends at daycare."

Avery finally opened her bright eyes and set her face into a stern pout. "But I saw my friends yesterday!"

April laughed, but her daughter's strong resemblance to her father made it sound like a forced, strangled noise of discomfort. "Come on, sweetie. Do this for me and I promise that we can have pizza for supper."

"Fine. If I must," she sighed dramatically as she kicked off her covers and rolled out of bed.

April laughed, genuinely this time, as she watched her daughter walk into the bathroom. She truly had a beautiful daughter. She was very bright, and a tad melodramatic for a six-year-old, but she was a true treasure. The best thing that had ever happened in her life. Avery was the greatest happiness that she had...but she sometimes reminded her of her most paralyzing sadness.

April returned to the kitchen and made her daughter's lunch before she tidied everything away and pulled her hair back into a messy bun.

"I'm all dressed!" Avery announced as she waltzed into the kitchen.

April closely inspected her daughter's outfit, since Avery was currently in a phase where she wanted to pick out her own clothes, this was a morning ritual. "You look awesome, possum!" She teased as she kissed the top of her head. "Did you comb your hair? Brush your teeth? Put on deodorant?" She questioned. Her daughter nodded eagerly to every question so April allowed her to grab her jacket and turtle backpack and head towards the door. "Do you have everything you need, sweetheart?"

"Uh huh! Do you?" Avery replied. "Keys? Phone? Lunch?" She saw her mother look away and she narrowed her eyes in displeasure. "Mommy! You need to eat lunch!"

"I will eat lunch at the hospital," April responded guiltily as she ushered her daughter out the door. "I promise."

"You better," Avery warned.

* * *

><p>April practically sprinted to the ER after dropping her things in her locker and changing into her scrubs. She skidded to a halt in front of the main nurses' station and grabbed her iPad.<p>

"Hey! Where's the fire?" Amelia asked with a laugh as she walked up to her.

April offered her a smile. "I'm late. I'm really _really _late."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that I took care of the neuro consults in beds three and five. A resident is taking five for some scans and there's nothing wrong with three, just an overactive imagination."

"Thanks," the red-head sighed. "I really appreciate it."

Amelia pursed her lips before she probed, "So why are you late? Busy night?" She added playfully.

"Uh no," April began awkwardly. "I just couldn't sleep."

Amelia frowned as she watched her friend become absorbed in her work. She knew what that phrase really meant. "Dreams again?" April nodded reluctantly. "April, it's been—"

"I know how long it's been, Amelia," she interrupted with a sigh. "I've lived it."

Amelia instantly felt guilty despite her best intentions. "That's not what I meant. I just meant that I thought the dreams had stopped since Matthew."

April chewed on her bottom lip before she reluctantly admitted, "I still have them from time to time."

"I'm sorry," she answered genuinely.

"I know you are, and now I need to get to work," April replied quickly before she pressed her iPad to her chest and started to walk away.

Amelia watched her head to the other end of the ER with a frown. She had known April Kepner for over nine years, since her first year of residency, but six years ago there had been a game-changer. One morning April went from a carefree, young bride and enthusiastic junior resident to a widow. His death had been quick and sudden, he didn't even make it into surgery. The entire hospital missed Jackson but it was obviously immensely different for April. Jackson was the love of her life and she had never, and _would never_, fully get over him. Jackson's death had changed the course of her personal and professional life. She was now a kick-ass trauma surgeon raising an unbelievable kid, and she was an incredibly strong woman.

But Amelia knew that she missed Jackson practically every second of every day.

"Hey Amelia," a familiar voice called.

The brunette spun around and smiled brightly at Matthew the paramedic, aka April's boyfriend and very hopeful wannabe husband. "Hi Matthew, how are you?"

"Great, thanks," he smiled brightly. "How are you? How's work?"

Amelia smiled back and answered, "Good." She knew that he was only asking out of politeness and that he was really wondering about April. "She's kinda busy right now, Matthew, but I'll tell her you stopped by." He nodded repeatedly but it was clear that something was bothering him. "What's wrong?" She questioned sincerely.

"I'm just worried about her," he exhaled. "I think she's been avoiding me a little since I dropped the m-bomb. Maybe I just shouldn't have proposed but I thought it was the right moment," he regretfully reminisced. "It's been two years! I'm ready, ya know? And I thought she was ready too."

She sympathetically placed her hand on his arm. "Just give her a little space. It'll be okay," she assured him softly.

Matthew nodded again, this time thoughtfully, before he finally smiled. "Thank you, Amelia. I'll see you later, and if April asks, I was never here."

Minutes after he left, April appeared out of nowhere like a ghost. "Was he looking for me?"

"I told him to give you space," Amelia told her honestly.

April smiled widely. "Thank you so much! Space is exactly what I need right now."

Fifteen minutes later, a teenage boy with a tonne of internal injuries from a motorcycle accident came into the ER and April spent the rest of her day in surgery. He miraculously pulled through and once April scrubbed out, she picked up Avery from daycare and took her to their favourite pizza place before dropping her off at Catherine's for their monthly sleepover.

April tiredly pushed her key into the lock and opened her front door with her shoulder. She dropped her bag in the porch and shoved both of her hands through her hair. She was going to have a glass of wine and a hot shower, and then she was going to bed.

She shuffled into the kitchen until the man looking through her refrigerator stopped her in her tracks.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, babe. Do you still want me to make waffles?"

"Jackson," she whispered in shock before she fainted.

* * *

><p>"<em>No!" She giggled as she wrapped both of her arms around his broad shoulders from behind. "Stay in bed with me. That's what you're supposed to do on your day off!"<em>

_He grinned to himself as he focused on tying his running shoes. "I'll be back in an hour and we'll still have plenty of time to spend in bed. I'll even make breakfast and bring it to you in bed."_

_She hummed in approval while kissing his neck. "And what will you make me for breakfast, Mr. Avery?"_

"_Well, I was thinking that I could make bacon and eggs, and waffles, and I think there are still some strawberries in the fridge."_

"_That sounds amazing," she moaned._

"_And it will happen as soon as I get back from my run!" He laughed as he extracted himself from her grasp and stood up. He looked down at her lying on the bed, wrapped in a thin bed sheet with her red hair tousled, and he almost changed his mind. "God, you are so sexy."_

_She bit down on her bottom lip to contain her laughter. "Does that mean you're going to skip your morning run?"_

_He shook his head. "Nope! I refuse to be just another man manipulated by sex," he joked. "No matter how tempting you are!" He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her temple. "See you in a little while, Mrs. Avery."_

"_Hey! I never changed my last name!" She yelled after him as he walked down the hallway._

"_Whatever! You're always Mrs. Avery to me! I love you!" He yelled._

"_Love you too," she answered as she smiled to herself and made herself comfortable in their bed. If she fell back to sleep then he would be back before she knew it._

* * *

><p>When April awoke, she was lying on her bed and someone was patting her face with a cold cloth. She slowly began to move her limbs before she opened her eyes. As soon as she regained the energy to sit up, she scrambled off of the bed and landed on her feet.<p>

Because there was Jackson, sitting not too far from her, holding a cloth.

"Are you going to faint again?" He asked with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

April slowly shook her head. "I don't think so." She raised her hand to her face and felt the dampness. That cloth had indeed been on her face and he was holding it. He looked real, like she could touch him and feel the heat of his skin. He looked exactly as he had the morning of his death, young and happy, and wearing his favourite t-shirt and shorts. He even had stubble on his jaw and his eyes sparkled when he looked at her.

This was the most surreal dream that she had ever had.

"I'm ready to wake up now," she murmured to herself.

"You're not dreaming, April," he retorted quickly.

"Of course I am, and I'm not arguing with you because you're not real! I'm just really tired and stressed." She ran both of her hands through her hair and exhaled slowly. "I've had dreams like this before and I always wake up." She stomped her foot in frustration. "Why can't I wake up?" She yelled.

"April," he whispered softly. "Relax, please." He slowly stood up, thinking that any sudden movement would send her running, and began to approach. "You're not dreaming, you're not going crazy, and I am not a ghost. I know that I'm dead, I figured that out pretty quickly after you fainted, but I'm real, and I'm here."

She stared at him suspiciously and he could tell that she wanted to believe him but her common sense was telling her not to. "People don't come back from the dead," she stated matter-of-factly.

He smiled at that. "No, they don't...unless they have to."

"What does that mean? Are you like some kind of Angel of Death now or something?"

"No," he laughed. "I'm here because I need to spend time with you. _For _you, but also for me." He extended his hand towards her and looked at her pleadingly. "Just take my hand, April."

She stared at his open palm for minutes before she tentatively reached towards him. How many times had she dreamed of something like this happening? This was exactly what she had hoped for countless times. She had begged for it, and if this was real, then she had to take his hand. She would never forgive herself if she didn't. She finally placed her hand in his and gasped, "Oh my God, you are real."

Jackson sighed in frustration as she fainted into his arms. "I knew that she was gonna do that."

* * *

><p>When she awoke this time, Jackson was nowhere to be found and she breathed a sigh of relief. She needed to stop having dreams like that. It wasn't healthy, and she knew that. She needed to stop pining for her dead husband.<p>

She left her bedroom and started to walk down the hallway towards the kitchen and living room, but the sight in front of her stopped her in her tracks. There he was again. Jackson. Tall and beautiful.

And he was standing in front of their daughter's bedroom door.

Either he was real, or she was crazy. Maybe both.

"I didn't know you were pregnant," he murmured as he placed his hand on the door.

"I didn't either," she answered, "not until...after."

He sighed before he turned to her with a happy smile. "Is she great?"

"Of course," April replied with a grin. "She's yours."

"And I bet she's gorgeous like her Mama."

April blushed as she tucked her hair behind her ear, six years of grieving had not cooled Jackson Avery's effect on her. "She has your eyes, and she's stubborn like you. She's perfect." She paused before she asked, "Is that why you're back? Because of her?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "No, I don't think so. I have a very strong feeling that I'm back for you." He paused before he turned towards the kitchen. "Is there anything in the fridge? I'm starving."

"I would imagine you would have an appetite after six years," she muttered to herself. "I think there are some leftovers in there." He sent her an unpleasant expression over his shoulder and she giggled. He had always detested leftovers. "I can probably make you a salad and a sandwich."

"Sounds delicious!" He took a seat at the island counter while she began to grab ingredients from the refrigerator. She still knew what he liked, and she was starting to digest the reality of their very weird supernatural situation.

It didn't truly feel weird though, not to him at least. It felt normal...and right. He didn't feel as if he had been gone for six years. They had done this very same thing hundreds of times before...before he died.

They had been so happy. They had easily been the happiest couple that they had known.

He quickly hopped to his feet and moved to stand beside her. He pressed a palm against the countertop while his other hand brushed through her hair. He had taken so many little things for granted in his young life, but one thing that he had always appreciated was the beauty of his wife. "You look really great, April," he whispered.

"Thanks," she replied softly. "My hair is longer, I think, and I started to go to the gym but I'm a little busy to do that regularly so I—"

Jackson interrupted her rambling by covering her mouth with his in an eager kiss. "I miss listening to you ramble like that," he chuckled.

She turned to him in shock and gently touched her lips with the tips of her fingers. "That felt very real."

"It was supposed to," he joked.

She slowly reached for him with shaking hands and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "God, this is crazy," she whispered to herself as she practically pawed at him, grabbing at his shirt and feeling his muscles beneath her hands. "You're the same, exactly the same. I can't believe it." She murmured incoherently to herself before she pulled him down for another kiss.

He threaded both of his hands through her hair and she melted into him like so many times before. She pressed herself against him and hungrily nipped at his bottom lip. One of his hands slipped down to her waist and he slowly lifted her off of her feet and onto the kitchen counter. She gripped his t-shirt with both hands and moaned as she pressed her mouth against his neck.

"Bedroom," he faintly heard her say. "Bedroom."

* * *

><p>April giggled as she cuddled into Jackson's chest and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. She even entwined her feet with his; she just couldn't get close enough to him. "That was incredible," she whispered. She hadn't had sex that incredible in six years. "And you smell exactly the same." She planted a soft kiss on his chest and giggled again before she rested her head in the crook between his shoulder and his neck.<p>

"You smell exactly the same too," he responded with a smile on his face.

She was quiet for a long time before she spoke again. "I slept in your Harvard sweater for I don't know how long after...because it still smelled like you...and then after a while it just smelled like me. I still wear it to bed sometimes though," she confessed. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip before she glanced up at him. "What are you doing here, Jackson?"

"I dunno," he replied honestly with a furrowed brow. "I think I'm here because I haven't _moved on_, and there's gotta be a reason. Maybe we didn't have enough sex," he joked. "Maybe that's why I'm back."

She laughed and gently smacked his chest. "I don't think that's it!"

"You're right," he agreed. "We had sex all the time so that's not it." She smacked him again before she rolled over onto her side and he spooned her from behind. "I'm sorry. I'll be serious again," he promised with a kiss to the back of her neck. "Tell me about your life."

"Well," she began hesitantly. "Avery is my life. She's everything. I spend every moment with her that I can. I just want to make sure that she's happy, and healthy, and cared for."

Jackson grinned broadly to himself as he listened to her. "That sounds amazing." He had always known that April would be a great mother, and it was completely obvious that she was. He was happy for her. It was clear that April's bond with his daughter and the way that she was being raised was not what was preventing him from experiencing an afterlife. "What else? What about work? What kinda surgeon did you turn into?" He asked excitedly.

"I'm a trauma surgeon," she told him proudly. "The ER is like my second child."

"That's great, babe," he answered enthusiastically. He had always pictured her as a neurosurgeon, but he could see how her personality was well suited to trauma. "I bet you're a badass."

She turned onto her back and looked up at him with a smirk. "Yeah, I am."

He leaned down to begin kissing her again when her doorbell rang. He groaned in frustration as he watched her scurry out of bed and pull on a pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt.

"I'll be right back!" She called over her shoulder as she ran down the hallway.

She opened the front door with a breathless laugh and flushed cheeks and was shocked to find her wannabe fiance on the other side. "Matthew!"

"Are you okay?" He questioned with deep concern.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you haven't answered any of my calls or texts. I was getting really worried."

April instantly felt guilty as she looked at his troubled expression and big brown eyes. He wasn't being nosy or suspicious, he was actually genuinely worried. Yet another example to add to the list of 'Why Matthew Is The Greatest Guy In The World' and 'Why She Is A Terrible Person For Not Loving Him The Way That He Deserves'. She sighed as she leaned against the door frame. "I'm fine. I'm just feeling a tad under the weather."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" He asked eagerly. "Tissues? Gatorade? Maybe some soup?"

She slowly shook her head. "Nope. I'm fine. I just need some rest."

"Well call me if you need anything, and please answer my texts," he added with a smile.

"I will," she sing-songed. "Thanks for checking up on me."

"Anytime! I love you!" He called to her before he ran towards his truck.

April waved to him and closed the door with a wide smile on her face. He did always make her smile.

"I don't think I'm here because you haven't been able to move on."

"Jackson," she sighed as she turned around to face him. "Moving on from you was something that I never wanted to do."

"I know," he smiled sadly. "And I didn't mean that as a jab. It's actually nice to know that that's not why I'm here," he explained. He approached her and cradled her face between his large hands. "You deserve to move on and be happy. You deserve a guy that worships you. Does he worship you?"

"Worship is a pretty strong word," she giggled. "But he's really good to me, and Avery. He's very kind."

"That's good," he smiled genuinely. "What does he do?"

"We met in the ER. He's a paramedic."

Jackson crinkled his nose. "I suppose that will do."

She smacked his arm playfully and he lifted her off of the floor. He carried her towards the living room sofa but they were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She knew exactly who it was and it wasn't Matthew this time. "I gotta get that, it's Avery calling to say goodnight."

Jackson's eyes lit up excitedly. "Where is she?"

"She spends a weekend once a month with your mother. She loves hanging out with Grandma Catherine."

Jackson sat up on the couch and watched her run back into the bedroom to retrieve her phone. She walked back towards him with the device pressed to her ear and a smile on her face.

"Hi baby, how's your evening going?"

He pulled her into his lap and listened attentively as she talked to his little girl. She rambled on about her dinner, and her pajamas, and the game of cards that she had played with her grandmother and Jackson couldn't stop thinking about how much she sounded like a mini version of April. "She sounds perfect," he murmured as he kissed her neck. They said goodnight and then another voice echoed through the phone. His muscles tensed and his hands gripped her hips tightly. He had never thought that he would miss his mother's voice. That voice had nagged him for years, he had always yearned to get rid of it. He could have definitely been kinder to her when he was alive.

When April ended the call she noticed that Jackson had a rather forlorn look on his face. "What's wrong?" She asked as she ran her hand over his clean shaven head.

"I just realized how much I miss my Mom, and how much she must miss me," he answered quietly.

"She misses you a lot," April told him before giving him a kiss. "Of course she does, you're her baby boy."

He gave her a weak smile as he realized the irony of their situation. He was the one who was dead; he shouldn't be the one being consoled. "I'm glad that she has you, and Avery. She always loved you."

"Because I was the perfect daughter-in-law," she quipped, "except for when she thought I married you for your money."

He gave her a real smile this time. "She got over that pretty quickly though."

She grabbed his face and kissed him again. "Come on, let's go back to the bedroom."

* * *

><p>And so April spent the rest of her night and all of her day off with her dead-but-in-the-flesh husband. They cooked meals together, talked and cuddled, and yes, they had a lot of sex. She felt like a newlywed again, and in order to bring herself back to reality she took Jackson to visit his grave a few hours before she had to pick up Avery from Catherine's.<p>

"Wow, that's me," he murmured as he sat on the grass in front of his headstone.

"Yeah," she confirmed as she stood a few feet behind him. The image in front of her was a hard one to swallow, and one that she absolutely needed to see. "That is you."

"I have fresh flowers," he chuckled awkwardly.

"Between your mother and I, there are always fresh flowers," she answered.

He took a long, deep breath before he turned around to look up at her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked in confusion as she finally decided to sit down beside him.

He turned to her and spoke sincerely, "For leaving you."

April was baffled, and both amused and touched by the gravity of his statement. "Its not like you had much of a choice. You just went running, like you did every morning, and you never came back." She laughed, "Until now apparently."

He took her hand and squeezed it between his own. "I wish I knew why I was here so then I could let you get on with your life." He looked towards his headstone and sighed, "This is the only version of Jackson Harper Avery that you have now."

She stopped him from saying anything else that would make her feel overwhelmingly sad by kissing him. "Let me take you back to the house, I have to pick up Avery."

Jackson followed her to her new SUV and hid out in her bedroom while she spent time with their daughter. It killed him not to be able to see her, or talk to her, or hug her, but he understood April's reasons for keeping him away. It wasn't exactly easy to explain to a child that her dead father was alive again for some unknown reason. Her reaction would be impossible to predict. She would probably be incredibly scared and confused. April herself had fainted twice.

He restlessly picked through April's collection of medical journals and looked around the bedroom while he waited for her to put Avery to bed. Not much in the house had changed in six years, except for the fact that none of his things were here anymore. Well, some of his things were still floating around. There were dozens of photographs of him and April in a drawer in her bedside table next to their wedding bands and her engagement ring. He also found his favourite sweater and his favourite pair of sneakers in the back of the closet. His memory was still here even if he wasn't, and that made him happy.

"What are you doing?" April asked quietly when she finally entered the room.

"Looking at pictures of us," he smiled. "We were cute."

She giggled as she jumped on the bed. "Yes, we were. We were very cute and very in love. That's why we eloped after dating for only three months."

"Do you ever regret it?" He asked curiously.

"Not for a second," she answered quickly. "Best years of my life, and it gave me Avery."

He paused before he revealed a tiny secret that he was hiding from his brief period of snooping. "Do you want to get married again?"

She raised a brow in suspicion. Had he found a certain item that she was trying her best to ignore? "Were you looking through my drawers?"

"Guilty," he shrugged with a boyish smile. "Are you going to marry him?"

She sighed before she lay down and rested her head on his stomach. "I honestly don't know. He really wants to, and he had a really sweet proposal."

Jackson began to run his fingers through her hair. "Do you love him?"

"I could," she whispered candidly.

They talked until April fell asleep in his lap. He carefully put her to bed before he sneaked out of the room and padded down the hallway. He stood in front of Avery's bedroom door for several minutes before he finally turned the doorknob. He had to see her. He couldn't pass up this opportunity to see his daughter. He sat in the armchair in the corner and watched her sleep. He found that although he was almost constantly hungry, he was never tired so he knew he could do this for hours.

He started to panic slightly when she rolled over onto her back and stirred.

"Daddy," she murmured sleepily.

His eyes widened and his mind raced before he finally responded, "Yeah, princess?" He left the chair and knelt down on the floor beside her bed. She probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning, she was still half asleep.

"Can you get me Mr. Fuzzy Pants?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion as he looked at her large collection of stuffed animals. How was he supposed to know which one was Mr. Fuzzy Pants? He reached for a teddy bear dressed in a pair of overalls and he heard her giggle. "What?" He questioned with a smile.

"That's Paul! Mr. Fuzzy Pants is over there," she told him as she pointed towards a fat penguin.

"Right." He grabbed the animal and tucked it underneath her arm. "There you go. Mr. Fuzzy Pants is a good cuddler." He leaned in and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Go to sleep, sweetheart, and don't tell Mommy about this."

"Okay, Daddy," she sighed before she closed her eyes again.

* * *

><p>"Rise and shine, sunshine!" April called pleasantly as she opened the door to Avery's bedroom. "Time to get up, buttercup! Wanna help me make breakfast before school?" She reached her daughter's bed and ruffled her curls as she removed Mr. Fuzzy Pants from her grasp. "Come on, sweet girl, get up out of bed."<p>

Avery sleepily blinked up at her before reaching her arms towards her and April picked her up with a smile. "Okay, someone's sleepy today," she murmured.

"Are you not working today, Mommy?" Avery asked softly.

"No, not today, honey. I took the day off."

"Can I take the day off too?" The six-year-old asked excitedly.

April laughed softly, "No, not day. School is very important. Now let's make some breakfast."

Avery cuddled into her shoulder as she carried her to the kitchen. "Okay, Mommy. Can we have pancakes?"

"Sure thing!"

"I had another dream about Daddy last night," Avery told her as she stood at her side and carefully passed her an egg.

"Oh yeah?" April asked curiously. She knew that Jackson frequented Avery's dreams but she hadn't mentioned it to her in quite a while. "Was it sad? Do you wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head quickly. "It wasn't sad." She giggled before she spoke again, "He just confused Paul and Mr. Fuzzy Pants!"

April's hands stilled but she tried not to appear too disturbed by the information. She went about the rest of her morning as usual, but when she returned from dropping Avery off at school she went straight to her bedroom, and her dead husband's hiding place.

"Hey babe," he greeted with a grin.

"Hey yourself," she replied slowly. She crossed her arms over her chest and quietly tapped her foot. "Avery told me something interesting this morning."

"Oh yeah?" He answered casually.

"She said that she had a dream about you, which isn't out of the ordinary, but then she said that you didn't get her stuffed animals right."

"Well it's confusing," he argued. "Who names a teddy bear Paul?" He laughed until he noticed April's raised eyebrow. "That's what the dream version of me probably said," he tried to add nonchalantly.

She smiled before she sighed loudly, "Jackson, what if she had thought it wasn't a dream?"

"I couldn't help it! I just wanted to watch her sleep!" He shrugged once he was at a loss for words. "I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

She wanted to be mad at him but she just couldn't. He had just wanted to see his daughter; she would have wanted the exact same thing. "It's fine," she whispered. "Just be careful, Jackson."

She began to walk towards him and once she was in reach he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. "I've seen you and I'm still here. I've seen your new boyfriend and I'm still here. I've seen my daughter and I'm still here. I don't know why I'm still here," he stated in frustration as he pressed his forehead against hers.

She kissed him softly before she smoothed out the wrinkle between his brows. "Is it selfish and wrong for me to want to keep you here?" She wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders and rested her head on his collarbone. "I don't want to let you go again. I want to keep you."

"I really wish I could stay," he said as he rubbed her back.

"You were hit by a car," she whimpered. "You went running and you never came back. What kinda dumb luck is that? And now I'm a freakin' trauma surgeon! I save car accident victims on a daily basis but I couldn't save you."

His other hand moved through her hair as he cooed to her. "Shhh, it's okay." He kissed the top of her head lovingly when she began to sob. "Babe, it's okay, it wasn't your fault." He slowly manoeuvred her onto her side and held her while she cried.

Maybe this was why he was here. Maybe he had to help her deal with her guilt before he could move on.

* * *

><p>When April awoke several hours later, her eyes were puffy and her throat was incredibly dry. She hadn't cried that hard in years...since the last time that she had cried over her dead husband. She fully opened her eyes and saw that Jackson was lying beside her, and he had been watching her sleep.<p>

"Hi," she croaked.

He smiled as he reached forward and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Hi. How are you feeling?"

"Been better," she tried to joke.

"It's okay," he assured her. "What I'm putting you through now is not normal and I'm sorry."

She adamantly shook her head and moved her hand to stroke his face. "Don't apologize. I've dreamed about this so many times." She started to kiss him slowly as she wrapped her body around his. "Make love to me one last time?"

He kissed her back hungrily and rolled her over onto her back. He truly hoped that it wouldn't be the last time but he was aiming for closure. Closure was the only way that he was going to experience an afterlife.

They actually made love twice, and Jackson was more than ready for round three when April realized what time it was.

"Oh!" She squeaked. "I have to get dressed! Matthew will be here soon." She wrapped the thin bed sheet around her body and slipped out of the bed.

Jackson propped himself up on his elbows and watched her walk around the room. "Do you guys have a date or something?"

She shook her head as she shimmied into a pair of jeans. "No, on Mondays Matthew picks Avery up from school and brings her to Bible study, and they should be back soon! Sometimes he takes her out for ice cream afterwards and that makes them a little late."

Jackson took a moment to process what she said, but even after that he could not make any sense of her words. "Umm...what?"

"Matthew. Avery. Bible study. Ice cream," she laughed. "Do you want me to say it again?" She teased.

He fully sat up and looked at her in confusion. "April," he began slowly, "why don't you take our daughter to Bible study?"

She mumbled incoherently as she snapped her bra back on and pulled a t-shirt over her head. "I don't...I just...anymore...and Matthew likes to do it...she likes the time with him...and I...with work..."

"April, stop and look at me," he demanded. She slowly turned to face him and it was the first glimpse that he had gotten of a woman that he didn't know. "What's going on? What are you hiding?"

"Matthew takes Avery to Bible study and he takes her to church," she finally confessed.

"What?" He gasped. April had always had the most faith of anyone he had ever met. It was definitely a defining aspect of her character and one that she had always been upfront and unashamed about. He couldn't grasp why she wouldn't want to participate in something so important to her with her daughter. "Why? I don't understand." He ran both of his hands over his shaved head in frustration. "I am seriously so confused," he chuckled.

April ignored him as she focused on fixing her appearance in the mirror. "I can't talk about this right now," she answered dismissively.

He huffed as she left the bedroom and he was forced to remain hidden. He needed to take the time to come up with something stern and profound to say to her when she returned. But he was still so confused. Did April Kepner not go to church anymore? The idea was unfathomable. When they had first started to date, some of the Jesus talk had been a little off-putting, especially to a guy like him who had grown up around only doctors and had never been to a church a day in his life, but he had admired her convictions. He had admired her ability to believe in the good when he could only see the bad. Her beliefs made his impending afterlife something to look forward to, but now...now he didn't know what to believe.

He redressed and listened to snippets of April's conversation with Matthew and he waited for hours until she returned again.

"Don't think I forgot what we were talking about," he told her immediately.

She sighed as she closed the door behind her. "I didn't expect you to."

"You need to talk to me about this. It's probably why I'm here," he muttered to himself. He slowly sat down on the end of her bed and patted the space next to him. "Come here and talk to me."

She reluctantly sat next to him and reached for his hand. She squeezed it tightly before she spoke, "It wasn't like it was something that I just decided to quit one day," she tried to explain. "I just started working on Sundays and finding excuses not to go, and it just slowly slipped from my priorities list."

"Slipped from your priorities list?" He repeated in astonishment. "That doesn't sound like you."

She wrenched her hand from his and ran both of them through her hair. "It sounds ridiculous...but...it just..._happened_."

"Nothing just happens," he responded quickly. "You're mad at Him for some reason. Just talk to me about it."

"It was hard for me to connect with Him...after you," she admitted. "My faith never seemed like a strength when it came to you. Remember how it almost broke us up when I first told you? And it definitely didn't stop you from dying!"

"You're mad at Him for taking me," he whispered. He quickly turned his body towards hers and cradled her face in his hands. "You can't keep thinking like that, babe. I won't let you. Your faith defines you, you can't just throw it away like it doesn't matter. God didn't punish you so don't punish Him." He had no idea if anything he was saying was appealing to her, but he trudged forward. "He hasn't abandoned you so don't abandon him, or he might abandon me," he added with a laugh.

She laughed with him as she started to cry. "I just miss you so much, Jackson."

"I know," he murmured as he pulled her into a tight hug. "But you'll keep getting through this because you're stronger than anyone I've ever met. You should show our daughter that side of you more, it's pretty unbelievable." His arms tightened even more around her as he placed a kiss in her hair. "I love you, everything about you, even the things I didn't like and the things that confused me, because they all make you _you_."

He continued to whisper to her as he moved them into a lying position on the bed. So, she had forgiven him for dying but she hadn't forgiven herself or the big man upstairs. She had always been a selfless person who was incredibly hard on herself. Doubt and insecurities had always plagued her, and he had been the one to banish them once he had really gotten to know her. He wished that he could stick around and tell her everyday what she needed to hear, but that wasn't an option.

And he knew that she could make it on her own. She just needed to believe again.

* * *

><p>April didn't even need to open her eyes the next morning to know that something was different. There was no weight on the other side of the bed. A pair of arms was not wrapped around her. And everything just felt quieter. She slowly rolled over onto her other side and reluctantly opened her eyes. She felt tears roll down her cheeks, but she also couldn't stop herself from smiling.<p>

He was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! It's always nice to get feedback, especially when you try something new :)**


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